The State of the Union: Scandal Episode 402 Recap
Let’s just get right into this latest episode of Scandal.
Booty Calls – Liv and Jake go running and he tells her he booked them a hotel suite for booty calls. Do you see why he is perpetually been shutdown? He don’t know his place. Ever. HA! She tells him she doesn’t do “booty calls.”
Friendly Blackmail – Cyrus and Liv meet up and he says he’s a vegetarian (forced).
He says she looks like crap. Friends are great for your #selfofsteam. He wants a favor and she is all “I don’t work for the White House anymore” but because Cy is an evil troll, he tells her there’s money sitting in her bank account from the government already and he will call the IRS. If your friends can’t blackmail you, who can? O___O
The assignment he wants her to take is to get a couple (James and Lisa Elliott) to be at the State of the Union address to vouch for President Ghost’s new anti-gun commitment. They missed their flight and aren’t returning phone calls. She tells Cy that she ain’t never scurried of the IRS and he tells her he’ll tell her Oval Office bar that she is begging for his love again. He ain’t shit. Him and his dusty coif.
The Elliots – At OPA, Quinn and Huck are briefing Olivia. James is a war hero who was a prisoner of war who escaped from the Taliban. Lisa saved 50 students during a school shooting and ended up paralyzed when she was shot. The 2 got married and became media darlings.
Liv shows up to Alberquerque and enters the house of the Elliotts to find Lisa throwing glass at James. Uh oh. Trouble in paradise. Liv tries to mediate but the two of them throw their “heroism” in each other’s faces. “The Taliban is better than you.” She tells them to get their shit together and get on the damb plane. And yessss to this double-breasted scoop-next jacket, Olivia!!! YESSSS!!
Of Grief and Mel – At the White House, Lizzie Bear is chewing Cyrus out for the gun control spotlight at the SOTU address. The VP storms out and Cyrus says “Stand and clap, Andrew. That is your job tomorrow night.” LOLLL he got ONE job.
Meanwhile, President Ghost is sitting in his car when a secret service officer knocks on the window and tells him that Musty Mellie wants her chips. They’re at the cemetery and she’s sitting on Fitz III’s grave in her house coat and UGGs. A photographer captures the pitiful scene and the next day, her pics are splattered on the covers of newspapers everywhere. They call her “Mental Mellie.” I like Musty Mellie better.
Abby fields questions from the WH press about the FLOTUS’ state of mind. Liv is watching it and tells Cyrus to have Abby shut it down.
Second Fiddle – Jake from State Farm asks Lemony Snicket (David) to get him info on Harrison and Adnan’s murder. David tells him he ain’t got the tahm because he needs to be confirmed as Attorney General but he gets “THE LOOK” from Second Fiddle and that’s enough to get him to say he ton do what he can. Yes, Jake’s new name is Second Fiddle. Tell a friend.
Quinn rolls up to Huck in a plaid shirt that looks just like his. They’re outchea dressing alike now. Lawd. She tries to make small talk and Huck is giving her the silent treatment. OOP.
Mind Your Business – On a TV interview, Olivia defends the First Family with the line Cyrus told Abby when she got off the podium. Abby sees this, is appalled and calls Liv going AWF. “You don’t work here anymore! I do and I will do things my way.” She drops the bomb on her that HuckleBerry Quinn was getting it in all in the office and UOENO. Welp.
Chicken and Chew Outs – Musty Mellie is on the White House balcony making sweet sweet chewing love to some fried chicken when Fitz and Cyrus joins her. They show her the grave pic of her and ask her to come to the SOTU address because folks won’t stop talking about her being crazy otherwise. Mellie cackles and says “do you actually think I give a damb what anyone thinks about me anymore?”
She is truly the giver of no dambs. She laughs in his face and tells him that this is all the Fitz Show and he walks off, looking all downtrodden. Cy picks up some chicken and says even if he dies of a heart attack, he’ll be able to see James. Aaawww. Mellie brushes him off and says he didn’t lose a child, as if that makes her grief more valid than his. He makes a good point of: “Broken heart is a broken heart. To take a measure is cruelty.” Either way, she ain’t going.
Abby and David do a mock interview for his Senate Committee Hearings and she’s on the money with the questions he’s asked and who the toughest person is (Al Watson). At the actual hearings, he slays!
Huck and Quinn are sent to deal with James and Lisa, respectively. Lisa “Before all THIS *gestures to her lower half*… we were in love.”
Liv is at home with her popcorn and wine when she calls Second Fiddle. “Is this a booty call?” “No.” She tells him to come back to her place. “Get over here.” “You are not in charge of me. I did let you know that I am available for…
All the booty calls you want at my hotel. In room 207.” HA! He hangs up and we see that he is looking at pics of Harrison and Adnan’s crime scene and at the morgue.
Hearing and Hoax – Lizzie comes to Cyrus and says a friend from Senator Watson’s office gave her a pic. It’s of a woman with a bloodied eye and if it is made public, David will have to defend himself against domestic violence accusations. She wants Cy to have David decline his nomination.
David tells Abby and Cyrus that the pics are fabricated and from the time when Olivia got Harrison to hire a girl to lie and say he beat her. Cy tells him that it’s a wrap. This is why he is Lemony Snicket. His life is a series of unfortunate adventures. Poor dude. “Olivia gets what she wants because she’s a winner and she doesn’t sit around wondering if she played the game the right way.”
You had ONE job – Cy heads to a bar and turns down an offer for a dude to buy him a drink. At the Elliott’s hotel room, James and Huck are drunk and singing together when Quinn walks in wondering WTF is happening. Quinn drags him into the bathroom and yells that she thought she was doing the right thing by giving him the info on his family.
“I pulled your teeth out because you can’t mind your own business.” LMAO!!! They hear James scream and run out to see that Lisa has stabbed him in the leg with a corkscrew. Aw hell.
Olivia is beckoned and James is done with all of it. Lisa has locked herself in a room. Huck admits to Liv that him and Quinn did get it in a couple of times and he is not tryna talk about it.
Unfriendly Blackmail – David goes to his storage locker to get a file and he meets up with Watson with it. In exchange for Senator Watson STFU about the fake domestic violence charge, he will STFU about the millions in bribes he knows about that the Senator accepted. “This is blackmail.” “I’d like to think of it as winning.” AW SNAP! David took matter into his own hands. The Senator gives his approval for David’s nomination while the VP and Liz watch, pissed off.
She Will Not Fail – The SOTU address is that night and Abby breaks it to Cyrus that the Elliots will not be in the building for it. He says they will because “I am not concerned that Olivia Pope will fail.” Liv is in a black suit when she shows up at the Elliott’s hotel room. She tells them that they need to get a divorce and she will help them handle it so they can still make money individually.
Musty Mellie is right where we left her (without the chicken) and Abby shows up, snatches the magazine she’s holding and lets her have it.
“Of all the millions of Americans who will be listening to and watching the State of the Union address tonight, there are thousands of people whose children have died. Just like yours. But unlike you, they didn’t get to spend 3 months flipping through trash and eating potato chips.
They got 3 days to grieve. 3 weeks if they were lucky or they’d lose their jobs. And Mrs. Grant. You HAVE a job. You’re the First Lady of the United States… if Jackie Kennedy could be in a car with her husband’s brain splattered across her lap one minute and standing next to LBJ as she was sworn in to replace her dead husband just 99 minutes later…”
YOOOO ABBY WENT IN!!! COME ON AND LET HAVE, ABIGAIL POPE! Mellie couldn’t even say a word! She just looked like a scolded child.
State of the Union – James wheels Lisa into the waiting room for SOTU when Fitz and Abby walk in and Liv introduces them to the couple. President Ghost asks for him and Liv to “have the room.” He says he needs to know what she thinks before his address and at first, she says no. Then he says she owes him that. She tells him to address the fact that their family is still grieving. Mellie is there looking stunning in a red dress and looking incredibly sad. She gets a standing ovation from the crowd.
His speech KILLS because he weaves his accidental loss to the real loss of people who have lost their lives to gun violence. What makes it even more touching is that he does it off the dome, and off script. Liv’s coaching is the besets.
Afterwards, Mellie crumbles unto the carpet sobbing and overwhelmed with grief. Fitz, in the next room, hears her and comes to comfort her. WHEW my thug almost met them on that carpet. That was harrowing!
Second Fiddle Beyond Second Base – Jake is at his hotel digging deeper into Harrison’s death when he sees Charlie the Sugar assassin on a hotel surveillance video. There’s a knock at the door and it’s Liv with a bottle of ’94 Du Bellay. “This is not a booty call. If I want to summon you, I will summon you.” She drops her coat and is butt nekkid and Jake can’t even say a thing.
Gigolo – Cyrus goes to the bar again and sees the man he rejected the drink from the other night. They go up to a hotel room and start messing around when Cy says he’s never done “this” which is to pick up a random dude. His lay for the night (Michael) says this is what he does for a living (sex worker). Cy says he can’t do it but when he sees homeboy drop trou, he looks like his mind might change.
Michael goes downstairs and approaches a car, where Lizzie is sitting. He tells her they didn’t make the sex but he’s gonna try at it. AW HELL. This broad sent a prostitute to trap Cy.
I LOVED how Abby took Cyrus’ unwavering confidence in Olivia and turned it into motivation to show that she can also be about that business. I am REALLY extra here for Abby’s newfound power (and her closet).
Bellamy Young is killing the game already this season. Mellie’s grief is almost touchable. WHEW! And I am enjoying the role that Fitz is playing because for once in his selfish life, he is thinking about someone else. He’s being so gentle with her and I dig it. I need him to keep doing that instead of lusting after Olivia. Hear my cry, Shonda. Don’t let Fitz try to get into Liv’s pants. Not until Mellie is at least on her way to healing. Don’t make me hate him!
And Quinn and Huck. Well them fools are clearly gonna end up licking each others’ faces at some point this season. I do not look forward to that at all.
Also, Portia de Rossi’s character (Lizzie) is bout to throw all types of craziness into the pot. She’s the one we’re gonna want to be dropkicked through the goalposts of life this season, I see. Chile…
BTW, me and Bellamy go together now.
Ennehweighs, Gladiators ROAR in the comment section. Let’s talk about it!