A Studio in New York is Doing Naked Yoga And I Can’t Even
The only time I’ve ever done yoga is on the beach in Puerto Rico with my girl Renisha of Renewed Fitness. We had a blast and I was all “I totally wanna do this when we get home.”
That was three months ago. My only progress in the area is that I downloaded a yoga app on my phone. I’ma get my life together and do it for real one of these days because I know I could use the benefits of yoga, like more flexibility and more zen.
“While many equate being naked with sex, this couldn’t be further from the truth in a naked yoga class. It’s about being comfortable in your own skin and the amazing confidence that comes with it. Practicing yoga naked frees you from negative feelings about your body and allows [you] to be more accepting and deeper connected with yourself and the world around you.”
That’s nice. On paper. I get it. It’s not a sex thing. Yes, let us celebrate our nakedness and be comfortable with our bodies. YAYYY HOORAY! BUTT (ha)… I would not be able to e’em do it. At all. No ma’am.
How am I supposed to find my center and concentrate on my inner zen when someone’s ass crack is 5 feet away from me? The downward dog will seem less relaxing when I’m staring into someone’s yansh. I’d be so damb mad.
And how will women who have big boobs work this out? What’s the logistics in that? You turn down and you might get slapped in the face with your bewbage because there’s nothing holding them down. That’s a health hazard. And for men… those inversions poses. How will they be elevated in zen-dom when their twigs and berries will be by their chin? I haz questions.
Also, how must that room smell with no clothes to wick away moisture and serve as a barrier between natural odor and the world as you sweat through all your orifices? All that sweat just goes straight to the mats. Ew. I imagine the room reeks of corn chips, feet, broccoli and bad decisions. I shiver at the thought and I rebuke it.
I know. I’m a prude and I lack the need for adventure. I’m fine with it. I’m hella comfortable with my nekkidness but I’d like my yoga (whenever I go to a class) to be with people who have on underdraws OR at least some shorts. Topless yoga wouldn’t be awful but when your yansh is all out, the visuals just won’t be so pretty. I admit I’m shallow.
But I’m not hating on anyone who does it. To each his own and if you like it FIST PUMP! Sooo who’s down for some naked yoga? Would you try it? Let a G know.
BTW, BuzzFeed has an article with pictures and GIFs of the nekkid yoga in action.