Porsha’s Pain, Cops for Kenya and Kandi-Coated Hateration: RHOA Season 6, Episode 3 Recap
Oh Real Housewives of Atlanta (RHOA). I enjoy you so…
Kandi-Coated Hateration – Kandi is talking with her business partner, Don Juan, about how her mother doesn’t support her getting married to Todd because she’s basically afraid that the money train to her will stop. To Kandi’s surprise, Don Juan agrees and I’m shocked that the folks around this woman are being such self-centered jerkholes. Why does everyone think her getting married is gonna affect their own lives?? LET THE WOMAN BE HAPPY, YOU MONEY HUNGRY FOOLS! On another note, Kandi’s office looked like Barbie threw up in it. She gotta start using the services of stylists and interior designers, man.
Nene the Maid – Since “The New Normal” was cancelled and “Glee” hadn’t started filming, Nene’s at home bored. Gregg is thrilled to have his usually-busy wife at home though so he asks her if she wants to clean. Nene basically tells him NAWL! OOP!
Packing for Porsha – Kordell, being the immature child that he is, sends Porsha all her stuff in a moving van instead of letting her come pack her stuff herself. She opens a box and finds that one of her wedding dresses has been destroyed in the process. Also in a box is one of their wedding albums, which Porsha defaces (with good reason) by scratching her ex’s face out of pics.
Tomatoes Evicted – Kenya talmbout she ain’t get evicted but “my lease is up and I have til 5pm to leave.” Potatoes, POTAHTOES, Tomatoes evicted. Pack your dereon duffle, girl. And then she proceeds to twerk on random things in her house and I got mad at Bravo’s producers for not editing that part out. (-__-)
Aggravated Apollo – Phaedra plans a photoshoot for her growing family, dressing them all in white Burberry. Her hubby Apollo is mad about not being listened to or something and he basically becomes a whiny little nuisance and Iunno what spilled in his milk to turn it sour.
Riley’s Advice – Kandi meets her daughter, Riley on their basketball court and she brings up the fact that Mama Joyce ain’t here for Todd. Her daughter gives her the best advice yet, which is to just et married and then tell her mama to deal with her new husband. The fact that a 10-year-old is being more mature than both her mama AND her business partner is a shame. The other shame is that Riley’s weave with red tips felt a bit too grown for her.
Cynthia’s Recovery – Cynthia just got her fibroids surgery and Peter brings her home. At first, he’s been all sensitive and attentive but that soon ends. Uncle Ben says he’s hoping that she’ll now be able to secks him, because in the past three months, he’s been all starved for coitus. Peter better become friends with lotion and his preferred palm and let Cynthia recover from fibroids surgery in peace. CAN HER WOMB HEAL FIRST?!? Ugh.
Porsha’s Pain – Kandi goes to see Porsha and sees all the boxes all over the house. She gets the latest update and the heartbroken one says “Divorces feel like a death in the family.” Woo woo woo, Porsha. Kandi asks her if Kordell ever hit her and she paused a bit too long. I’ONT TRUST THAT KNUCKLEHEAD SHE MARRIED! I hope he never touched her! They got the last cackles though, as they opened a Bedroom Kandi package that was in one of the boxes and found that one of the balls in it were missing. LEMME FIND OUT KORDELL STEWART IS USING THEM! HA!!!
Cops for Kenya – Kenya is still packing up stuff in her house that she ain’t get evicted from (mmhmm) when 3pm strikes and her landlord Conya Dillon shows up and tells her to GTFO. She says she still got til 5pm but landlady ain’t hearing it. She calls the cops and describes Kenya as “tall with weaves and contacts with implants.”
LMAO!!! All of the everlasting shade. Miss Moore finally leaves the property, having been humiliated but still delusional enough to think she somehow won. Girl… bye!
Oh Kenya. Keep being extra for no reason for our entertainment.