Famous folks

Ne-Yo’s Instagram Breakup Note is Wack

Celebrities complain about how they have no privacy because paparazzi, TMZ and everyone wants to know about their lives constantly. Some of them do have a right to whine, but others know damb well they enjoy the attention, especially when THEY bring it to themselves.

Yesterday, Ne-Yo the slack-jawed yokel (whose music I DO enjoy) posted a pic to his Instagram account announcing the breakup of him and his fiancée (and mother of his 2 kids), Monyetta.

Neyo Instagram Breakup


Ok this is wack for a couple of reasons. Why is he announcing their breakup at all?!? Ne-Yo is not one of the celebs that a lotta folks check for on a regular basis. Folks don’t post outside of his house clocking his coming and going like they do for the Kanyes and Beyonces. So if he broke up with his lady, he coulda kept that private for a while, until like 8 months down the line when we’re all “Oh wait. We haven’t seen them together in a while. I guess they’re over.” So essentially, WE’ONT CURR! Except we kinda do because we’re talking about it. But that’s because I roast a lot.

Second of all, this note is so damb wack. It’s like the template “I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU” thing that folks say to each other during breakups but only about 15% mean it. Psht, I know when I’m through with someone, I don’t plan on always loving them. I’ONT LOVE THEM HOES!!! HA!

And did he have to use MS Paint to create this graphic? He found the fuzziest pic of them possible and then opened up Paint in Windows Millennium to create this picture with a note that a 12 year old coulda written.

Girl BYE gif

BYE NE-YO! He coulda used one of the many apps out there to create something better than this. And he coulda written one that doesn’t sound like “Breaking Up 101” material.

If you gon write some sort of post-breakup love note, you better include some Pablo Neruda sweet poetry so I know it’s real. Shoo… he coulda kept it. I’m petty.

I think this was tactless but Monyetta’s prolly cool with it so I’m just throwing a fit on her behalf.

Anywho, ladies, Ne-Yo’s single! Don’t all line up at once!

So whatcha think bout this note? Would you appreciate a “we’re done but I still love you” public declaration from your ex? Tell a G.

P.S. FYI, if you ever date a writer, poet, musician or whatever, don’t expect them to write stuff about you all the time. Lower those expectations. You’re welcome for the heads up.

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  1. Teefah
    June 30, 2013 at 12:25 pm

    SMH Neyo…no one really cares. It ain’t that serious. It did not warrant an IG post. Get over your self


  2. Joy Boston
    June 30, 2013 at 12:26 pm

    Ain’t nobody checking for no square-head azz Ne-yo…… Please…..

    • June 30, 2013 at 2:56 pm

      ROTFL @ square head

    • missjai
      July 1, 2013 at 10:21 am

      dying laughing

  3. June 30, 2013 at 12:30 pm

    “And did he have to use MS Paint to create this graphic? He found the fuzziest pic of them possible and then opened up Paint in Windows Millennium to create this picture with a note that a 12 year old coulda written.”

    MTE! That shit was embarrassing alone. There are FREE WEBSITES that you can use now to make a better looking picture.

  4. phoenixrose360
    June 30, 2013 at 12:30 pm

    What ever happened to what happens in our relationship, stays between us…why must everyone(celebrities and the rest of us) advertise everything that goes on?

    • Rampage3
      July 1, 2013 at 7:55 am

      So when people see him with some ‘strange’ this coming holiday weekend no one has a fit.

      Maybe it was cheesy but if it works then more power to him. I have found that a lot of guys do stuff for and with women that no one understands but them.

  5. Danielle
    June 30, 2013 at 12:31 pm

    I just want to say I love the Jem & The Holograms gif, even if it is of one of The Misfits!!! Oh, and Ne-Yo could have definitely kept that break-up gram. That’s not necessary, even if Kanye was the one to do it. Have some class about yourself…geez

    • Cha!
      June 30, 2013 at 6:38 pm

      You peeped Jem too! I think Luvvie is too young for Jem…

  6. June 30, 2013 at 12:32 pm

    I said the same thing. Celebrities talk about wanting privacy on their personal lives yet dumbasses like Neyo really makes you think that they really want their names to be in blogs for something like this. I had totally forgot that he had a woman; that just goes to show how much attention I give to his love life

  7. Annie
    June 30, 2013 at 12:33 pm

    Gay marriage is now legal in most states. Ne-Yo should be coming out of the closet in 5…4…3…2…

    • Alex
      June 30, 2013 at 1:33 pm

      Thank you!! I was wondering when someone was gonna address the elephant.. Cover up no longer needed.. Lol

    • Randomly Jazzy
      July 9, 2013 at 7:12 pm

      I’m waiting for his coming out gram.

  8. Nikki
    June 30, 2013 at 12:35 pm

    Doesn’t he write and sing love songs for a living? This is the best he can do? I would be more upset over this sorry ass Instanote than our breakup.

  9. Kathy
    June 30, 2013 at 12:35 pm

    I saw this as I was scrolling through my iG, but didn’t hone in on it because I thought it was just a throwback of some sort because of the blur. I didn’t even bother to read it. Now, I loves me some Ne-Yo, Gawd knows I do, but this was just petty. I don’t care about your break up. Drop a new single.

  10. Pammiegirl
    June 30, 2013 at 12:36 pm

    Jem was enough to make this a riot for me!

  11. nicholeycola
    June 30, 2013 at 12:40 pm

    Thia ninja is a songwriter for Christ sakes! He couldn’t come up with anything better than this Trinidad James nursery rhyme bullshatt?

  12. Kwan
    June 30, 2013 at 12:42 pm

    Neyo -_-….c’mon son. I mean I guess if she’s okay with it but it’s so unnecessary.

    P.S. LMAO at “slack-jawed yokel”.

  13. Dee
    June 30, 2013 at 12:44 pm

    I think he posted this because he was letting another woman know it is over between him and Monyetta. He had to confirm it for the other woman.

  14. E
    June 30, 2013 at 12:47 pm

    The Supreme Court did just pass the law on Marriage Equality. Now Ne-Yo can be with his REAL boo legally.

    Come on….don’t act like ya’ll ain’t know! When his Frank Ocean 2.0 album drops at the end of the year, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

  15. Max
    June 30, 2013 at 12:48 pm

    Ugh. This is worse that a post-it note breakup. At least you can throw it away. When are these mouthbreathers gonna learn the internets are forever? Unlike that relationship.

  16. June 30, 2013 at 12:51 pm

    ‘If you gon write some sort of post-breakup love note, you better include some Pablo Neruda sweet poetry so I know it’s real.’
    Hilarious!! 🙂
    And I would cringe if my ex put a ‘goodbye, I still love you’ note up for all the world to see! (What is he trying to prove??)

  17. Christie
    June 30, 2013 at 1:04 pm

    Uummmmm….Ne-Yo has an IG? Shrugs and walks away….

  18. Dee
    June 30, 2013 at 1:04 pm

    I am here for this Jem gif. The only reason I am even commenting.

    • Nikki Bee (@nikkib1920)
      June 30, 2013 at 11:42 pm

      GIRL. I am HERE for Phyllis/Pizazz and that slap.

  19. Jabari
    June 30, 2013 at 1:05 pm

    Even tho I really on’t curr, we really all kinda sorta saw this coming….I mean Luvvbug, you say urself, his gloss do be popping…. #ijs

  20. Pierra J
    June 30, 2013 at 1:16 pm

    His next album is going to be the SHIT!!!

  21. June 30, 2013 at 4:06 pm

    She probably got tired of him serving face while wearing her MAC lip stain.

    Seriously, this is incredibly childish, trite, and just plain old ratched. He coulda kept this to himself, wrote some songs, and twerked his way across a new Beyonce video.

  22. June 30, 2013 at 5:22 pm

    i didn’t even know Ne-Yo was engaged – i certainly don’t care now that i know he’s not

  23. Daniel Ben-Zvi
    June 30, 2013 at 7:37 pm

    Dear Lord…even if this was from a Bey or Ye level celebrity, this would still be some ticky tacky triflin trash. Who the hell even thinks that *doing* this is a good idea much less doing it this *badly*?

  24. KK
    June 30, 2013 at 8:57 pm

    This is normally what happens when you have kids with a man that’s not your husband. Now you’re a single mother Monyetta…c’mon chile. DO BETTER.

  25. Dawn
    June 30, 2013 at 11:22 pm

    I’ll tell you what I think….Wayminit….Is that Gem “Truly Outrageous” slappin the piss out ol gurl?!?!? Lol That gave me life Luvvie!

    • ChaCha
      July 1, 2013 at 11:06 am

      this bout tickled me silly!!

  26. June 30, 2013 at 11:27 pm

    It is said that social media seems especially designed for narcissists but to announce a break-up via Instagram is so darned lazy.

  27. June 30, 2013 at 11:31 pm

    I sang the “Ne-Yo the Slack-Jawed Yokel” part. 600 cool points for the Simpsons reference!! BUT. That’s mad cheesy, dude. Take it to Twitter for cripe’s sake. Or use textgram and put a pic. He got the social media game all messed up.

    Po lil Tink-Tink. We shall provide him with all the seats and a quiet time taco.

  28. Ashamai
    June 30, 2013 at 11:36 pm

    So..wait….he has shaved off his beard? #ijs

    • June 30, 2013 at 11:38 pm

      I see what you did there.

    • Jocy
      July 1, 2013 at 6:20 am

      Well played. *slow clap*

    • afro-american
      July 1, 2013 at 8:20 am

      LMFAO Ashamai, best comment ever!!

  29. Deja
    July 1, 2013 at 7:58 am

    Uh, Ne-yo isnt dating John Legend?

  30. July 1, 2013 at 9:09 am

    Lipgloss game proper at George Lucas and Melody Hobson’s wedding last week – http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/sites/default/files/custom/untitled%20folder9/LucasWeddingNe-Yo.jpg

    This chick on the side is why he did the IG breakup thing, this is not homegirl Monyetta.

    • ToneNotTony
      July 1, 2013 at 12:22 pm

      Why is he looking like Ms. Lawrence in this pic? And who is his date, the chick or the old dude?…

  31. ChaCha
    July 1, 2013 at 11:01 am

    now he can come outta the closet.. clever ne-yo, cleeeeeeverrrrr..

  32. Malikka Michelle
    July 1, 2013 at 11:13 am

    I had to read this for the laughs. I’m dying, but I understand every single point that you’ve made. Ne-Yo has been the behind the scenes star. When he has a hot single he’s noticed, but not too many pay close attention to his personal life unless he calls attention to it. Like now. It could’ve been left in a text or he could penned it into a love songs. He’s good with stuff like that.

  33. Imjustsaying
    July 3, 2013 at 12:10 am

    Ne-yo… We never believed you were into the womens at all. “We don’t believe you, you need more people”. And by people, we don’t mean John Legend, Miguel, and well, you…. No Instagram pic needed, just have a seat…

  34. Sane Jane
    July 12, 2013 at 2:42 pm

    It may be just me, but I have always thought Ne-Yo has been taking eyebrow-arching lessons from First Lady Cameroon……