Tom Anderson from MySpace is… NOT the Father!

So I had a completely different post ready to go until I saw this video:



I am holding my stomach and trying not to fall out the chair. This man thinks Tom Anderson of MySpace is the father of his girlfriend’s child because the kid has blue eyes. And Tom is her only white friend.

When I tell you I am crying?!? LMAOOOO!! Where do people like this exist? What kind of foolish logic is this? And he’s all super sure of it too. Made a video about it and everything.

“The only people with blue eyes are white people. HELLO! I’m not white. Look at me. I did a little investigating on Shannon’s MySpace page. She just so happens to be friends with a white man named Tom Anderson… I think Tom is Shannon’s special friend for sure.”

Dude is talking about his “investigation.” His GOOFASS didn’t “investigate.” He stalked her MySpace friends list and then found one beige face, and deduced that he had to be the father of her kid.

People are out here losing at life. And the girlfriend. How does she even go about trying to tell this fool that she’ont e’em know Tom. We have GOT to become choosier as a society and a gender. THIS is the person she chose to lay with without prophylactics. The fool who can’t wrap his mind around the concept of automated friends.

Oh and Maury’s face the entire time? PRICELESS! He looks like he wants to fall out his chair too. Talmbout “Joe. Guess what? You ARE the father!”

The ridiculousness of this whole thing. I’m STILL laughing at this.

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  1. November 22, 2011 at 7:12 am

    Lawd ah mercy! I’mma laminate his name and put it in Sister O’Dell’s prayer request box… iRebuke him in da name of stupid. SMH…

    • November 22, 2011 at 11:48 am

      LMAOOOO!!! YESS @ Sister O’Dell’s prayer box. His name needs to be in there permanently.

  2. Simone
    November 22, 2011 at 8:41 am

    Hee-lar-ee-ous! I hope that guy was just being funny and intentionally obtuse in order to amuse the audience, but I fear he was serious. Plus, I’m gonna need schools to do a better job of teaching students about genetics, ’cause even some fairly well educated people can’t understand how two black, brown eyed people can make a wavy light skinned child. Science!

    • November 22, 2011 at 11:48 am

      For some reason, I doubt he was kidding. I don’t think he’d be a good actor enough to pull it off.

  3. lexi
    November 22, 2011 at 8:48 am

    lawd?!but why?!! he shouldnt be allowed to procreate ever!!! is he not intelligent to know about genetics?!lawd….i can’t with this foolishness here today!

    • November 22, 2011 at 11:47 am

      Yeah Shannon shoulda known better than to lay w/ this fool

  4. November 22, 2011 at 9:03 am

    I am seriously debating removing you from my Google Reader because you stay exposing my eyes and ears to all manner of ratchet stuff. But, but I like it so…

    • November 22, 2011 at 11:47 am

      LMAO!!! I ain’t e’em DO nuffin!

  5. November 22, 2011 at 9:03 am

    Maury has become a even richer man because of this kinda foolishness. Can someone please snip this man? And hurry up! lol

    • November 22, 2011 at 11:47 am

      Yes. Maury has built his success on the back of dummies.

  6. November 22, 2011 at 9:06 am

    OMG.He CANT be serious. No way in hell…I mean..some people are just too fucking stupid to procreate with. OMG..please take his sperm and destroy it.

    • November 22, 2011 at 11:46 am

      This is why folks gotta be choosier.

  7. Gwen (@ashlee1969)
    November 22, 2011 at 10:24 am

    Listen… I don’t have the words. LOL! This fool is exactly why we cannot have nice things. smh LOL!!!!

    • November 22, 2011 at 11:46 am

      He can’t have many nice things in life being this dumb.

  8. JMarguerite
    November 22, 2011 at 10:26 am

    I actually saw this episode. I was watching it like “he can’t be serious,” but lo and behold, he was!!! I just watched in awe at the stupidity of it all!

    • November 22, 2011 at 11:46 am

      As am I. I laughed way too hard when I first saw this.

  9. Sharday
    November 22, 2011 at 10:51 am

    Know what? I’m not e’em mad at dude…….BUT I am mad at the person(s) who co-signed his logic. You can just tell he went around telling the “Tom is the father story” and somebody said “that’s valid.”

    Just a hot mess smh.

    • November 22, 2011 at 11:46 am

      Well they were prolly hella amused by it. I’ont blame them for putting this dummy up there.

  10. November 22, 2011 at 10:59 am

    Wait, did she walk it out when they announced he was the daddy?

    Oh lord! That poor baby, such an innocent, precious life brought into such foolishness… My heart weeps for him…

  11. Court
    November 22, 2011 at 11:13 am

    “HELLOOOO! I’m not white, look at me.” Best line of the whole clip! This is ratchetness at its finest folks.

  12. Shelia
    November 22, 2011 at 12:14 pm

    I just had a baby. You cant be making me laugh like this! lol It would have been awesome if Tom would have came on the show! I mean, he’s not doing anything else lol

  13. November 22, 2011 at 12:25 pm

    LMFAO @ his reasoning being that Tom was her FIRST friend as if that wasn’t the default for airbody. I cannot! These are the types of people who still use Myspace. Shade intended.

    And I’m shole gonna use “can two cats produce a dog?!” soon. Just ’cause.

  14. bklynbajan
    November 22, 2011 at 1:34 pm

    Jesus wept.

    Died & rose again then cried some more.

  15. ALittleOdd
    November 22, 2011 at 2:57 pm

    I had to explain to an ex that in the event that we have children (and thank goodness we didn’t), there is a possibility of them having fair colored eyes. It runs honestly in my father’s family. Didn’t stop him from telling me he’d feel better if he could have their paternity tested.

  16. November 22, 2011 at 8:26 pm

    Can I punch this ninja in the thoat? Yes – I said thoat. I am mad at this broke ass version Katt Williams-looking dude.

    Luvvies – I wish I could quit you…I am almost having an asthma attack!

  17. November 22, 2011 at 9:57 pm

    -Blank stare-

    -___- I cannot. I will not. I shant not. (Yes, Shant!) just… He needs to have ALL of the seats.
    He deserves a custom made “Ninja you ain’t sh*t” love seat. He needs an entire orchestra of seats.

    -Gets up from laptop and goes for a walk-
    I need to get this foolery off my mind.

  18. Monique
    November 23, 2011 at 10:57 am

    Lawd. There is so much fail here.

  19. JailorMoon
    February 6, 2013 at 7:26 pm

    Again, a year late, but nobody commented on how at the end this girl gone sing/chant, “Money. Money. Yeah yeah…” while walking it the hell out. I’m done.