Whose is this?

Whose Wayward Family Is This?

So I seem to be a glutton for punishment. Everytime I tell folks to add pictures of foolery and ratchetness on my Facebook fan page’s wall, they go above and beyond this duty. Especially Scarlett. This chile has NO sense! Anywho, last go-round, she added like 10. And each one was worse than the last. However, this stood out.

The Fig Leaf Quad

WAYMENT! Wait a GAHTDAMB minute! I understand enthusiasm for Christmas. I LOVE the holidays. And I know people usually can’t WAIT to send out pictures of them in just the right light, wishing everyone a Merry Chrismannukwanzaa. BUT this right here is doing the most. Which of these super geeked adults came up with the idea that what the world needs now is love sweet love a picture of their family in fig leaves that’ll make Adam and Eve blush?

Seriously though… who was like “Honey, let’s bypass the snowflake turtleneck sweaters this year. I think we should just rock our fig leaves. THAT’ll really show people our holiday spirit!” Sir… Madam… no one wants this in their mailbox or emails. You have a cute family but I don’t need to know what kind of underwear you wear because of the tan lines those fig leaves don’t cover up. I just… don’t.

Something tells me it was Mama Fig’s idea though. She seems to wanna show off her segzy. But I wonder… Who shot this pic??? When these 4 walked on set, did he give extreme side-eye? He shoulda been like this O______o the entire time he was taking these pics cuz this here? A MESS. And those poor little boys. Wait til they grow older and mama tags them to this picture on Facebook. TOO¬†embarrassing!

Anywho, I must ask. WHOSE FAMILY MEMBERS ARE THESE?

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13 Comments

  1. December 14, 2010 at 8:46 am

    I don’t know who thought of this… but it’s wrong on so many levels. Why they do that to them fig leaves and coconut shells? They were just minding their business!

    Awkward family photos (dot com) has a wealth of these, though.

  2. Kay
    December 14, 2010 at 9:20 am

    Ummmm, why does the background look as if they are in Hawaii?? Is that a tikki hut? I’m so confuzzled….

  3. MissMaryMack
    December 14, 2010 at 10:18 am

    if the don’t get they Swiss Family Robinson lookin’asses! *chokes on bagel* *gag* No snow for CHRISTmas time lookin’ asses… big Ha ha we just made you look at kiddie porn lookin’ *dies mid-insult*

  4. Nono
    December 14, 2010 at 12:50 pm

    They cannot be serious!! You know what, let Mom and Dad to that ish if they want (still ain’t right), but leave.the.kids.out.of.it. I feel all pedo and skeezy looking at those poor little boys…

    *makes my way to awkward family photos*

    • December 15, 2010 at 9:27 pm

      Awkward family photos is HILARITY personified. I wonder if I’ll one day become one of those mothers insisting on these awkward pics.

  5. Starita34
    December 14, 2010 at 2:39 pm

    You KNOW that was mama’s idea! She looks GOOD from the neck down and a hot mess from the neck up – she said eff it! I’m NOT giving up my frosted pink cashmere lipstick, I’ll just have the cameraman zoom out and take off all my clothes and no one will even notice that I haven’t gotten a haircut without a flowbee in 25 years and that my husband looks a lot like Ernie the Keebler elf.

    • December 15, 2010 at 9:31 pm

      LMAO @ pink frosted cashmere lipstick. She’s been doing pilates so she wanted to show off her goodies.

  6. Robert Hagedorn
    December 14, 2010 at 5:30 pm

    Oh, please do a search: The First Scandal.

    • December 15, 2010 at 9:26 pm

      I did. But random stuff came up. What am I looking for?

  7. December 14, 2010 at 11:34 pm

    I don’t know what to say. I’m scared to say Merry Christmas…

    • December 15, 2010 at 9:26 pm

      As you should be. I don’t want any gifts they come bearing. NONE!

  8. mellonee
    December 15, 2010 at 9:21 pm

    very funny but the pic looks like it was photoshopped. Moms face and neck are way paler than her body. lol

  9. December 17, 2010 at 11:30 pm

    Although this pic really freaks me out, I can’t get my eyes off ALL FOUR sets of ABS! Dayum…