Mornings Are Wack
*grumbles* Happy Monday. O__O (What’s happy about it? I know. I ask the same thing).
As y’all will often see, I post my blogs at like 2am sometimes. Not only am I most productive when it’s dark out, I don’t remember ever being an early-to-bed kinda person. My Mom told me I was born in the middle of the night. I can’t remember the exact time but it makes perfect sense. Even when I was little, I’d cry when I got sent to bed because I felt like I was missing something. I had the mentality that if I went to bed early, I’d be tardy for all the parties. What party at the age of 7? I’m not sure. Many a night, did I get my butt whooped before bed because I cried. In fact, I think I was born in the middle of the night.
Anywho, I’m a night owl. This is why I HATE mornings. I wake up TOO groggy and sluggish. I always snooze at least twice too. But after that, I almost fall outta bed in protest. I get outta bed most mornings, thank God for letting me see another day, and then proceed to scowl for at least 2 hrs.
I don’t understand morning people either. I take personal offense and affront to people who are cheerful in the morning. You see them on the bus. They’re the ones who come on and greet the bus driver with vigor and skip to their seats. I always pray these people don’t end up sitting next to me. Don’t come hopping your Mr. Rogers ass in my face before 11am. I was talking to someone on the phone one morning and I went
“*grumble grumble* How are you doing?”
Me: What??? AWESOME?!? It’s 9am. Uh uh. I gotta go. You are far too jolly at this time of day. *click*
Shoo. How can you be jolly in the morning? HOW?!?!? Adding to my disdain for mornings is the fact that I don’t drink coffee. I think coffee tastes like diet cough syrup and loss so I don’t partake. You can find me on my bus commute taking a nap. I bet there are many pictures of me floating around as people picture messaged their friends talmbout “See this chick on the bus KNOCKED OUT!” I bet in at least one of them, my mouth is wide open.
My brain just doesn’t function before 11am. So all you giddy morning people that try to have me, you know, talk, don’t take offense to my sharp side-eye. I’ll like you again at 11:01. Till then, leave me be and let me be great in my morning crankiness.
Maybe I just have a case of the Mondays. No. It’s the Monday Mornings, which are the worst. Because they are the longest time til the weekend. Am I alone in this? Who feels my pain?