I am a Walking Contradiction
“Getting Re-acquainted with Luvvie” Week continues. With that being said, I must admit that I’m a walking contradiction. I’m a paradox and a conundrum all wrapped up in a discrepancy. Why? Well, let me tell you.
*My avatar winks, but iCan’t. – Yes y’all. I admit it. My avatar is my EVERYTHING and it’s a quarter lie. It’s all cute winking at y’all all coyly and flirtyly as I look on in envy. See, that’s because I can’t wink to save my life. Whenever I try, people always get concerned and start trying to blow in my eye, talmbout “What is it? An eyelash?” As I try to wrestle them off to say “I’m fine. I was just winking.” Then usually, they look at me all pitifully and say “Oh. Well, you coulda warned me.” So yeah, I let my avatar wink in my honor.
*I love the kiddies but I hate touching pregnant stomachs – Kids (especially really cute ones) make me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. However, I’ont dig them until I can SEE them. I don’t know why but I don’t like touching the tummies of preggo people. I mean, do I rub it gently? Am I supposed to poke it like the Pillsbury doughboy? What if I rub it too hard??? iCan’t. The entire time my BFF was preggo with my Goddaughter, I think I touched her stomach once. It just freaks me out. If the baby kicks while I’m touching, I may try to fight back or something. My nerves are bad. It’s too much pressha!
*I’m a thug who is starting to be all girly (liking nail polish, like color pink, have feelings) – Until recently (within the last year), I had a bad habit of chewing my nails. I stopped and now, they are super long. Well, now I paint them all types of cute colors and stuff. When did this thug start wearing anything other than “clear” on my nails? THUGS don’t groom!!! Then to top it off, I refused to wear pink for YEARS because it was just too girly. It reminded me of cotton candy and newborn babies and thugs don’t care for such cutesies. Well, recently, I looked in my closet and *sigh* I have PINK in there. And I like it *gasp*. Thugs don’t rock pink (unless you’re Cam’ron. Wait. He’s not a thug. I will find better example). Now, I got like four shades of Pank (yes, pank) and stuff in my wardrobe. How did I get here???
*Yuppie who hates museums – I’m young, smart (at least according to the ACTs & my Mama) and an urban dweller. But, invite me to a day at the museum and watch as I come up with an excuse about why I can’t make it, including “I would but, I doubt they’d enjoy me napping on their nicely waxed floors”. Museums bore me to PIECES! I can only stare at a painting for about 45.6 secs before I get distracted and my mind wanders. The only museum I am willing to go is the Museum of Science & Industry, and that’s because they have
the Harry Potter exhibit GREAT information on scientific things shiny things that make noise .
I’m way more contradictory but
sleep calls me I must go attend to some important business.
I hope I’m not the only one that’s more mismatched than polka dots and floral print, crackheads and teeth or Lil Wayne and showers.. Come onnnn, share with me! We family here on AweLuv. And a family that roasts together, stays together.