Groomed Unibrow? What an Oxymoron

frida-unibrowAight so I was on the public bus minding my own business, as I always… (you know what? I can’t even finish that. I was being my usual nosy self), when foolish ish met me. Some dude got on the bus, with a GROOMED UNIBROW. Now, if that ain’t an oxymoron, then I don’t know what is. Having a groomed unibrow is like…

  • Having neatly scuffed shoes
  • Wearing a tie dyed shirt… under a wrinkled suit… to a classy event
  • Graduating from college with a 2.01 GPA
  • Getting a haircut with no lining
  • Being pregnant with 6-pack abs
  • Seeing white folks in weather-appropriate attire
  • Having an event with my beloved African people, where everyone comes on time

Basically, the groomed unibrow is something I don’t expect to see, especially when people with unibrows have them despite their opportunities to groom. Therefore, the groomed uni lacks logic. Threw me for a loop. His unibrow is something Frida would have been jealous of, with a perfect V that looked perfectly thought out. I think I stared at him the whole time we were on the bus together.

I can only imagine what my look said, but I can guess it was 1/2 perplexed, 1/4 mixture of basic, plain, and GENERAL with a quarter side of minor squinting to make sure my slanted eyes weren’t deceiving me.

If only I could have taken a pic of it… you know, if I wasn’t afraid he’d whoop my ass.

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  1. Kari
    August 4, 2008 at 2:49 pm

    What, you mean scarves in the middle of summer isn’t weather appropiate? But when will I wear them…when it’s cold outside? That doesn’t make sense, the scarves will clash with the flip flops.

  2. LaToya
    August 5, 2008 at 2:47 pm

    LMBO!! U are a fool, groomed uni’s are not the biz! White people wear wool and leather in the summer, shorts and tees in the winter. It is like expecting a mexican/spanish little gurl to show up at the mall in Blue Jeans…. it aint gonna happen. That baby is gonna show up at the mall or grocery store in a full baptismal dress white patent leather shoes, and those cute lili lace socks!

  3. shelia
    August 13, 2008 at 3:50 pm

    wow…funny. I’m sure he thought he was looking good–hence the groomed look…LOL

  4. GOODENess
    August 15, 2008 at 9:56 am

    HA! that bus will get ya man! DART (Dallas Area Rapid Transit) is where f*ckery and shullbit come to die! I saw a GROWN ASS MAN with a “dougie” and a “mohwak” at the same time…and had the nerve to have a texturizer on it with activator and er’thang!! if that wasn’t bad enough…he confused my staring in utter horror and confusion with me giving him “rhythm” and proceeded to try to (holding back dry heave) holla at this fly red thing typing before you! really? really ni99a? league check homie…and his breath smelled like boiled diapers! girl fogged up my glasses and sh*t…I told him I was ahappily married, bi-sexual mother of 5…he then proceeded to act like he was too good for all my imaginary drama…LOL…good times…

    ok I feel better…but public transportation is the fool…thank GOD I only park adn ride during the work week!

  5. African Beauty
    August 15, 2008 at 10:12 am

    Basically MINDLESS, U are a plump ignant ijot!! Rude… Although, this is my fav blog thus far….and dude is a repulsive mind blowing moron!!! Who grooms their unibrow and better yet, what shop allowed this. Their license should be revoked and their store put on blast so everyone will know that only foolishness occurs at such places…..

  6. malaika
    August 28, 2008 at 5:26 am

    Hey Luvvie, this is the first time I’ve been here and I’m loving it. Oxymoronic occurences like a groomed unibrow are the kid of things that make you think that you’re seeing wrong. Don’t blame you if you’re still squinting.

  7. V Renee
    August 29, 2008 at 12:35 am

    Ummmmm why was this so hilarious??

  8. Luvvie a.k.a. Queen IG
    August 29, 2008 at 12:43 am

    Kari, LaToya & GOODEness just had me rolling!! Thanks to everyone else too!!

  9. threewaystotakeit
    August 29, 2008 at 5:00 pm

    Japanese cherry blossom…isn’t that the tree that smells like “man stuff”? That’s pretty gross, and funny. Great entry. Applauding you from Starbucks…and I don’t even drink the coffee here.