Surviving, Okay?! – Insecure Season 5, Episode 5 Recap

This post is in partnership with HBO. As always, thoughts and opinions are my own.

All Wrong – Molly rolls off of her latest situationship’s peen when she checks her phone and sees SOS messages from her family. Her mom is at the hospital, and when she shows up, the whole family is there, waiting to hear her mom’s current state. The doctor comes out and tells them it’s time to come say goodbye. WHAT?!? He walks them to the room anddd that’s not Mrs. Carter laying there. It’s someone’s old AF grandmother. WRONG BLACK LADY.

Carol Carter is still unconscious but she’s stable when her family walks in. Molly is stunned to see her mom laying there, and the nurse is fielding questions to her dad, who is not in the mood to answer any of them. Molly goes into TAKE CONTROL mode and tells the nurse to add her as the contact, so that she can handle all of the needed information. 

Helping Hand – Issa wakes up to fresh coffee from an underweared Nathan, and this seems to be their regular thing. He has no clients ‘til later and she has no work ‘til later. So even though they wanna take things slow, they’re acting REAL couple-y, and they wanna spend the day together. Only wrench in that plan is that Issa has a lunch scheduled with Molly, so she calls her bestie to double check. That’s when she hears what happened to Mrs. Carter. 

Nathan drops Issa off at the hospital and offers to pick her back up. She tells him not to worry but he is being all boyfriend-y and it’s cute. When Issa gets to the hospital floor and sees Molly, she asks her bestie how she can help. Molly doesn’t know because she’s more concerned about holding it down for everyone else. Issa suggests that she goes to Molly’s apartment for different clothes, since Molly is still in her walk-of-shame dress, with the high slit. Lawd. The besties switch outfits so that Molly won’t have to stay much longer in these clothes, and it is so heartening. BESTIE LOVE. Molly thanks her for showing up and helping. 

Issa gets back in the car with Nathan (who came right back to get her), while looking GOODT in that date dress. As Issa is picking out clothes to wear back to the hospital, Nathan points out Molly’s dog, Flava Flav, and that he should probably be fed and walked. Adds to their to-do list. 

Not Yet – At the hospital cafeteria, Molly, her dad and her Aunt Keke are grabbing food when Molly’s date from the night before sends her a very pleased Bitmoji. Oh Lawd, I hope Mr. Carter ain’t see that. Aunt Keke is telling someone that, yes, Carol Carter had a stroke, and turns to Mr. Carter about the estate planning they didn’t finish. Molly’s about to go off about that when she gets a call from her boss. He didn’t realize she wouldn’t be in that day, but he needs her rebranding proposal section. She says she needs more time, and when he offers for someone else on the team to handle this important task, she says she got it. 

Issa and Nathan are walking Flava Flav when her mom video calls her. Her mom asks her to join her on the next eight Sundays, as part of a Christian book club. Issa declines. You know moms don’t miss anything, so Miss Dee asks who she’s with since she keeps looking off to the side. This forces Issa to introduce Nathan. Missing no beats, mom asks him if he’s her daughter’s new boyfriend and he says “Yes!” Mom wants him to take the phone, and she gushes over him, referring to him as Steph Curry. HA! When she asks for his number, so she can keep tabs on her daughter, Issa grabs the phone back and quickly hangs up. 

Making Claims – Issa tells Nathan that he ain’t have to do that, and if this thing they’re doing is too fast, it’s okay. Nathan says he meant that girlfriend part, and our girl blushes like a schoolgirl! This Christian book club?!? Issa thinks maybe her mom and her man are struggling cuz post-divorce, mom has been doing a lot. “She needs to figure out what she wants.” Oh? Just mom? They’re laughing but that ends quickly when they realize the dog is no longer on the leash, or anywhere around them as a matter of fact. LAWD. 

At the hospital, Molly is using online medical help to micromanage the doctors and nurses. She’s suggesting all of these remedies and the nurse said one of the things she’s suggesting won’t work for her mom since this is her second stroke. SECOND STROKE?!? Her dad confirms and says her mom did have a minor stroke previously, but didn’t want to worry the Carter kids, so they kept it a secret. “How am I supposed to help you guys if you keep pretending everything is fine?” Ummm… Molly, maybe ask yourself that too.

Flava Flav is lost for real and Issa is feeling so bad about it. Nathan suggests that the dog might actually come back to them by retracing their steps. He tells her about a time when him and his cousin Thomas lost their dad’s dog when they were little. They spent all day looking for it, just to give up and go home, and find the dog sitting on the porch. 

Set Back – The doctor comes in to Mrs. Carter’s room and only Molly was there at the time. He wants to wait ‘til everyone is back to share the results of her mom’s scans and MRI, but Molly insists he tells her first. He breaks the news that there is major damage from this major stroke she had, and there is a possibility that Mrs. Carter might be paralyzed. Molly is crestfallen and says she will pass the news on to her family. Right after the doctor leaves, the family comes in and she has to face them with this news. 

Issa and Nathan are sitting on a bench because they still ain’t found Flava Flav. As she’s looking up how to find her friend a brand-new version of this dog, he runs up to them! Nathan surely was right, and she thanks him for making the day bearable and for being patient with her. “That’s why I love you.” OHHHHH LOVE?!? It shocks her a little and it delights him, cuz he kisses her and they cuddle on that bench. Aawww.

Back at the hospital, Molly thanks Issa for being there for her. She’s feeling so guilty, wondering if she has done enough for her mom or been kind enough to her all this time. Issa serves as the affirming voice telling Molly how amazing she’s doing and how great her life is. Don’t beat yourself up, girl. She cannot blame herself for what is out of her control. Seeing her looking tired, Issa goes and grabs ‘em coffees, as Molly sits by her mom, distraught with worry. 

On her way to getting the coffee, Issa is stopped in her tracks when she looks down the hospital hallway and sees Condola and Eli. WHOAAAA. And then she sees Lawrence with them. Double whoa. Condola doesn’t see her, but her and Lawrence lock eyes. Time stops and punches both of them in the gut. DAMB.

Wow wow wowww. This episode was a testament of both vulnerability and growth. Specifically, Issa’s. The Issa of days past, who could be self-centered and who ran away from her feelings was not the one we saw on this episode. She showed up full body for her friend in a time of need, and when her friend didn’t even know what she needed, she figured it out. She even took the clothes off her back to give to Molly. It was beautiful to see their sisterhood in verb form. And what would Kelli call it? GROWTH. 

It’s good to see how friendships are the backbones of Black women. In it, we rest. Even when we aren’t sure how. The safe haven our close girlfriends create for us is a salve. Issa and Molly are BACK BACK for real, not just FAKE back and I love seeing it.

Related, Molly is not always putting her own mask on first before helping others with theirs. Our good sis does not know how to let her own guards down to receive help, even at a time when she could use so much of it. She’s taking care of everyone else, and worrying about their well-being, when she’s operating from a place of deficit herself. 

Being The Responsible One has her stretched but she’s still trying to maintain the illusion of control. When she’s even offered help, she declines it. Had Issa not insisted on getting her clothes, she’d still be walking around that hospital looking like she’s about to go drop it low at the club. And the project that she’s behind on at work. Ugh. When her boss offered her an out, and she refused, she’s setting herself up for a failure I’m afraid of. The S on Molly’s chest gotta be stretched thin. Superwoman gotta put her cape down just for a bit. But I resonate.

Now, let’s talk about Issa’s heart. Every time she makes major steps to move past Lawrence, something happens. Her and Nathan had some breakthrough moments this episode that spoke to the depth of what was developing between them. Which I was worried would never happen. They all exclusive now. And walking dogs together. And being cute on public benches. She even let it slip that she loves him!  

And then… she runs into Lawrence and her whole chest is heavy. It’s not fair! DAMB. I want her to be able to heal from his knucklehead ass but this taking two steps forward, and four steps back. It’s not fair. Our girl is out here, flourishing abundantly, and then BOOM! Set back. I hope she doesn’t let this run-in sabotage her budding relationship with Nathan. Cuz Lawrence and his mess with Condola is not going to lead to anything but more heartbreak for her. 

I’m the ANTI LAWRENCE HIVE. I’m PRO ISSA MOVING ON.