Pressure, Okay?! – Insecure Season 5, Episode 3 Recap

This post is in partnership with HBO. As always, thoughts and opinions are my own.

Photo credit: Merie Wallace

Daddy Walker – Lawrence is a little shocked as Issa walks away from him. This might really be it. He goes home, where all his packed boxes await, cuz he’s moving to San Francisco for his new job.

New city? New women. He ends up on a date, and to be honest, the chemistry ain’t even really there. In the middle of it, he gets a text message. Ummm… Lawrence is now a dad! He excuses himself, ending the awkward date, and jumps on a flight to LA, landing and going straight to the hospital. A nurse tells him he is the father of a healthy baby boy!

He walks into the hospital room and Condola’s holding their new baby as her mom (Jackie) and sister (Kira) surround her. HEY KEKE PALMER! LELA ROCHON! The whole thing is just awkward, because why should they like him? 

Any who, Condola tells him the kid’s name is Elijah Mustafa Walker. He’s taken back because he didn’t have any say in that naming. He hesitantly holds this baby he sired. 

Photo credit: Merie Wallace

Present Dad – Back at Chad’s place, he complains about the baby’s name, which he had nothing to do with. Chad, being the forever troll he is, says “Mufasa.” Lawrence is mad that he found out his child was born via text, but he is intent on being present for his son, so he says he’s gonna make it to all of the doctor’s appointments.  

He does make it to the next appointment, but the tension between him and Condola is palpable. The doctor’s queries are met with extra questions from Lawrence, and Condola is getting irritated. As they leave, he asks if she can make Elijah’s other appointments on late Fridays, so he can come down for it. That’s gonna be a NOPE. Also, he wants to know when he can schedule his baptism and Condola says she’s already planning to do it at her church she sometimes goes to. Lawrence is now getting irritated, wondering if he’s gonna get some input in the life of the baby and he wants to come down to LA weekly to make sure of it. She says they’ll “figure it out,” and they go their separate ways. Lawrence is at his SF apt putting together a crib. 

Photo credit: Merie Wallace

At the baby’s baptism, Lawrence’s parents are not pleased with the situation and his mom wants to take the kid to her pastor, because apparently, all blessings ain’t created equal. He walks up to Condola and her mom and sis (Kira ain’t with the Lawrence Hive, rightfully). He suggests that for the holidays, he can take the baby for a week, so his parents can also spend time with him. Ummmm… aight. She ain’t with it but she says they can talk about it as the time gets closer.

Not the Same – Lawrence is up working late and looks exhausted when he sees a reminder for his flight to LAX and his packed bags. He texts Condola that he ain’t gon make it, which instantly ruins her mood. Her sister picks up on it and calls him an “uncle” since all he does is drop in forsome hours and bounces. The sisters were supposed to be getting massages, but not anymore, since now Elijah’s back on their watch. Sis says she woulda cussed him out by now, but she tells Condola to go instead, and she’ll watch the baby. Come thru, village!  

Photo credit: Merie Wallace

Lawrence is putting together the baby’s crib in his apartment when he gets a text from Condola.  Simone Dubois is turning 1, and she asks if they should go together. He says sure. 

At the birthday party, god mama Kelli welcomes them. She’s wearing a tux, and so is the birthday girl and it’s really cute. After some chit chat, Lawrence catches up with Kelli and Derek. He asks, “How is everyone else?” Read: Issa. Kelli says THRIVING. As party hostess, Kelli gives a toast to her goddaughter, an “angel amongst demons” and I CACKLED because she’s truly the best. Her and her cousin, Pepper Pig, who ended up getting high in the middle of the toddler jam.

Not Solid – Elijah starts to cry and Lawrence grabs him to go feed him. When he comes back, he says the baby is happily fed cuz he’s given him some random stuff off of the kids snack table. Condola is pissed! She hasn’t started him on solids yet, so Lawrence taking the liberty to do that, is out of line. She wanted to wait, to make sure he’s not allergic to anything. Lawrence calls her dramatic and she asks for the baby back. They start getting loud and people start noticing so Derek interrupts the tiff to ask Lawrence’s help with moving boxes. He hands the baby to Condola, and the men walk to the side of the house. There are no boxes. Derek wanted to get Lawrence alone to tell him to chill cuz all that negativity and added stress he’s adding to an already contentious situation ain’t good. I don’t think Lawrence is hearing him, doe. 

Back at their own domains, both Lawrence and Condola are exhausted for separate reasons. He’s tired from working late and popping bottles with his clients. He’s having sex with some girl. The man is booked and busy being a young 30-something. Condola is exhausted from taking care of a newborn, by herself.

Photo credit: Merie Wallace

When he texts Condola that he will land late that Friday and wants to take the baby overnight, she tells him sure. He calls him “Jah.” She calls him “Eli.” 

Turbulence – Lawrence has created a whole starquarium at his house for Elijah – ready for his first overnight visit. Condola is rocking a fussy Elijah when Lawrence comes in and she gives him to his dad. The baby is still crying, so she asks for him back so she can soothe him. Lawrence balks at it, but she takes the baby. She doesn’t think the overnight visit will work and says she simply does not trust him. “Are you f**king serious?” 

All of the feelings of resentment and rejection they’ve been carrying bubble to the surface. The argument of his absence. He says she blew his life up. She says, “He is not going with you.” He responds by threatening that he gon get his son come hell or high water and she tells him to GTFO her house. 

On his way back to San Francisco, the flight hits extreme turbulence. There’s a baby on there crying and all of that triggers something in him cuz he gets scared and teary himself. 

He gets home and sees the crib. He calls Condola and says he’s sorry. “This isn’t working. What do we do?”

Whew. Adulthood is tough and the challenges just keep coming. Lawrence and Condola ended up in a predicament that is the perfect example of being stuck between a rock and a hard place. To end up being pregnant after you say you’re done with someone is some universal middle finger. The baby is a blessing but those circumstances SUCK.

It’s clear that Lawrence is trying to do the right thing, by being as present as he can be, but he does fall short. The facts are that he’s cities away, and intentions might be good but ain’t the road to hell paved with those? 

Condola has the right to be pissed because he swoops in for hours at a time, like some magical dad fairy, to then leave to go live what looks like his “best life,” as she’s cleaning up vomit and changing diapers. To think he should have equal say in the baby’s coming and goings is actually short-sighted and selfish. 

Some people might not think it’s fair that she’s mad at Lawrence. Well, it’s not fair that 10 seconds of him climaxing changes every single thing about her life and body instantly. It’s not fair that he thinks he should have equal say when he spends 10% of the time she does with the kid. I SAID WHAT I SAID.

Derek tried to warn Lawrence about his trash approach, but Mr. Walker wasn’t hearing him. No, it’s not his “fault” that he can’t be present since he lives in another city, but he should humble himself. The facts are the facts: you ain’t here. So don’t roll through demanding some authority. YOU AND CONDOLA AIN’T THE SAME.

Furthermore, him villainizing her instead of empathizing is peak f**kboy behavior. So, she should just let you come and swoop the baby away when you have no track record to show you can take care of a new life? You JUST got out your Best Buy polo 2 years ago. Abeg move.

ALSO… ALSO. Him giving the baby some random foods he found at a snack table is proof that she made the right decision not to let him take him. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?! Why would you give a NEWBORN (4 months is newborn, in my opinion) and their fragile tummies random snacks? This ain’t how this works. UGH. I wanted to fight him in that moment. 

People have been giving Condola hell but what was she supposed to do? She got pregnant and people are mad that it means Issa can’t get her man. But her man was also in the bed letting sperm fireworks fly. People don’t give Lawrence enough shit, and I don’t like that. I’m here for ALLL the shade that Kira threw at him and will continue to throw at him. Sorry to that man.

Two people make a choice. A woman’s body bears the brunt. The man thinks he is entitled to access. She doesn’t give it readily, resentful of the weight she has to carry. He calls her crazy.