Janet Hubert’s Read of Jada’s Oscar Boycott Rant is Lit
Y’all know how I feel about Aunt Viv 1.0 from the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, played by Janet Hubert. She was the best. In fact, we don’t recognize Aunt Viv 2.0 around these parts. We sure in the hell do not.
The Academy behind the Oscars are catching all the flack again this year because they’re whiter than a mountainpeak in Utah for the umpteenth year in a row. The members of the Academy are mostly old, white and clearly out of touch. There are so few Black nominees that I don’t even think they could make up half a table at the ceremony.
In spite of the fact that the President of the Academy is Cheryl Boone Isaacs, a Black woman. And the host of this year’s show is Chris Rock. #OscarsSoWhite
There were two critically-acclaimed and monetarily successful films this year, written directed and starring Black men: Straight Outta Compton and Creed. Only one person got nominated from each movie and those people happened to be white. It’s hella impressive how boldly obtuse that is. Beasts of No Nation was another incredible film, and Idris Elba’s performance in it was incredible. Also got no love.
ENNEHWEIGHS, Will Smith came out with a movie called Concussion, based on a true story of a Nigerian doctor who exposed the dangers of football and the NFL. Will played him and used a terrible Naija accent that made us all wince.
Jada Pinkett Smith took to Facebook to denounce this continued ignoring of Black talent in film, and asked for Black actors to boycott the Oscars this year. Aight, DEN.
WELL, Aunty Janet decided to CAPS CAPS CAPS Jada and Will, calling bullshit on the video. I got tagged to it about 50-11 times because it was a READ. Watch HERE:
To the Smiths!
Posted by Janet Hubert on Monday, January 18, 2016
Janet left ALL her chill in 2015. ALL chill left behind.
She started this video telling us she is 60, it is MLK Day and she doesn’t give a “kitty.” She is so deficient of fucks. Her dearth of fucks is impressive. This is why I love old people. They do not care about feelings.
Like, she was stewing and ready. I don’t even much mind that Janet is still harboring resentment over her being kicked off the Fresh Prince 20 years ago. Twenty WHOLE years. We gon let her live. Because she dropped some gems and good points here. She ain’t tell many lies.
First, she called Jada “Miss Thang” and “Girlfriend.” These are the words you use for the girl who shoulder bumps you in the club but keeps walking even though she knows she owes you a “sorry.” So you refer to her as Miss Thang to get her attention and let you know she ain’t the right type of bitch. Her petty is one I can get behind.
Janet called them to the damb carpet so proper. Let’s talk about each point she makes, and see if we can detect some lies.
1. “There is a lot of shit going on in the world that you all don’t seem to recognize. People are dying, our boys are being shot left and right in the streets. People are trying to pay bills and you talking about some mufucking actors.”
True or False? True. Well, partly.
There is indeed suffering and mayhem outchea and Jada IS addressing the topic of actors. We can walk and chew gum at the same time. The Smiths are not known to be vocal about troubling issues regarding race so why is this what Jada is pressed about? IDK.
BUT it turns out that Jada is a huge advocate against child trafficking so she does have a cause. This one just seems to be what she’s pressed about right now.
b. “I find it ironic that somebody who has made their living and made millions and millions of dollars from the very people they’re talking about boycotting just because you didn’t get a nomination. Just because you didn’t win, that is not the way life works, baby.”
True or False? TRUE. No lies here.
She is right. You can’t just be quiet when it doesn’t affect you and then speak up when it does expecting folks to put themselves on the line for you. It surely ain’t how any of this works. I mean, the Oscars have been really white for a while. Why is this the year that they now care about boycotting?
She then slid her Fresh Prince issues in here and ended w and I was like “aw bless you, Janet. You still big mad about that.” We gon pray for her that she lets go of some of the hurt. I want her to move past it.
iii. “There are those out there who really deserved a not and Idris Elba was one of them. Lord have mercy. “Beasts of No Nation” was incredible. You are not… maybe you didn’t deserve an Oscar. I didn’t think you deserved a Golden Globe nomination with that accent.”
True or False? TRUE. Lies unheard.
Seriously. The accent was TURRBLE. Basically she’s saying that Will is just butthurt because he ain’t get nominated for his janky ass Nigerian accent. Listen. I GUFFAWED. WHY YOU HAVE YOU GET SO PETTY SO QUICK? She didn’t even let us warm up. She went for the jugular. Because you know Will thought he nailed that accent.
4d. “You ain’t Barack and Michelle Obama and y’all need to get over yourselves.”
True or False? TRUE. ZERO LIES.
Will and Jada surely do not reside at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue; Washington, DC 20500. Their kids are not Malia and Natasha (you know that’s Sasha’s real name). Will might have big ears too and be growing gray but he ain’t got the password to the red button of world destruction.
e. “You have a huge production company where you only produce your friends, your family and yourselves. So you ARE a part of Hollywood. You are a part of a system that is unfair.”
True or False? TRUE. Un-False!
WELP. WELPITY WELP WELP. Will is officially in a position of power, and part of the problem with the Academy and Oscars is that there aren’t enough film projects being released featuring people of color. His production company could be doing more to support struggling artists. When you get successful enough and get privileged enough, you have more power. Use that.
GO ON’ HEAD, AUNTY JANET. Tell these people. Then she mentioned that some of us have bills (twice), because she is the Spirit of Responsibility and she cares.
Whew. I have watched the video 5 times and I cackled each time because the level of no fucks given is something I am enjoying. Janet called out a bunch of bullshit and I wonder if Jada will respond, or if she will be too unbothered.
Did y’all watch the video? Drop thoughts.