TV and Movies

Hardhome: Game of Thrones Season 5, Episode 8 Recap

I was advised to take a mild sedative before watching episode 8 of Game of Throne season 5. I didn’t listen. Lawdt, I did not listen. Let’s just get into it.

Jon Snow Turmond Game of Thrones


Arya was not ready to be “No One” but she was ready to be “Someone Else.” That person is an orphan girl named Lana, who wears her hair in two plaits and a sells clams and oysters in Braavos. Jaqer of Many Faces tells her that she should now go to the Harbor to sell her goods, and keep an eye out. She will see something.

Arya 1 Arya 2

Lana Arya goes and a man buys 4 oysters from her. She ear hustles as someone stops by his shop and basically gets carried away after he drops money. Reporting back to Jaqer, she finds out that he is a gambler, and he bets on the lives of sailors who come into Braavos. Her assignment is to learn everything she can about him. Also, she’ll be the one to kill that dude, and she gets a little potion.

When she leaves, the girl who’s been giving her shit in the House of Black and White asks the Man of Many Faces if she’s ready. He basically shrugs because who cares? Aw damb. Valar Morghulis Bootcamp is hard.


Reek brings Sansa’s food in and seems even more scared to look at her than he already was. She asks him why he snitched on her to Ramsay and he says he was trying to help her. There is no escaping from Winterfell. He tried, which is why his natural carrot is now gone. “If I could do what Ramsay did to you right here right now, I would.” “I deserve to be Reek. I did terrible things.” She gets all up in his face space and says he burned her brothers Bran and Rickon and let them hang. Theon admits that he couldn’t find them so he burned 2 farmer boys instead and said they were the Stark brothers.

Sansa Reek 1 Sansa Reek 2

Relief washes over her face when she realizes that she still has brothers out there (not named Jon). Reek runs out, perpetually paniced about being punished.

Roose and Ramsay are plotting what to do about Stannis’ march up North. Roose thinks they should do nothing because all he has are 6,000 men and they aren’t equipped for the conditions. They will freeze first so no biggie. Ramsay thinks they need to attack the Baratheon, and he doesn’t even want a whole army. He just wants 20 good men. Uh oh. What does he have brewing, with his crazy ass??

King’s Landing

One of the scientology Sparrow nuns comes into Cersei’s cell and says she wants her to confess. She refuses and the lady beats her with the metal spoon and leaves.

Cersei is visited by Qyburn the crooked mad scientist and told that she will be tried for fornication, treason and incest. Her Uncle Kevan now presides over the Small Council. Jamie isn’t back from Dorne and Tommen won’t come see her. In fact, he’s locked himself in his chamber and not coming out. He isn’t even eating. Sir, a hunger strike ain’t the way to deal with this. Long story short: Cersei is fucked. Qyburn suggests that she confesses and she tells him “I will not kneel before some bare-footed commoner and beg his forgiveness.” But your dumbass gave him all this power. Girl, bye.

Scientology nun comes back as her visitor leaves, asking for a confession.

Cersei Lannister Sparrow

Cersei looks at her and promises her all the riches in the world if she lets her go. She sees the lady is not moved so she switches to threatening her about how she will make sure the lady dies a painful death. None of it works. The lady takes the ladle she’s holding with water and pours it on the ground before leaving. When the door closes, a parched Cersei slurps up the water from the floor. Oh how the mighty has fallen.


Jorah and Tyrion are standing in front of the Stormborn Queen, who wants to know how she can guarantee that Tyrion is who he is. See, he tried to stop at the Westeros DMV but they were closed. Our boy reads his life to him and says he killed both his mother (at birth) and his father. She asks why should she take his services instead of kill him if he’s known for killing his kinfolk. His reply “It’s too soon to know if you deserve my services.” HA! What Tyrion lacks in height, he got in mouth. He can definitely advice her, because killing and politics are not the same thing. She might have an army but she has to deputy who knows the lay of the land and got the tea on the royal families and how they operate.

She understands that he is to be taken seriously and allows him to get closer to her, out of chains. The first piece of advice she wants? What should she do with Jorah? She promised that the next time she sees him, she will have him killed. Should she go back on her word and look weak? Tyrion says that the man worships her and might be in love with her. You do not kill those who are devoted to you because it doesn’t get other people to want to give you their loyalty.

Mormont is seriously devoted to her but he did betray her and never admitted to his crime of giving Varys her info for 20 years. Tyrion says Jorah cannot be by her side when she crosses the seas of Westeros so she orders him to be put out the city. Her guards to just that and as he stands outside Meereen, Jorah pulls up his sleeve to see how the Greyscale is hanging and spreading. He goes to the Pit Master who brought him to Meereen and says he wants to fight for Dany in the Great Pit so he can be sold.

Later, Tyrion clearly got to shower and a change of clothes, and he’s sipping wine with Dany.

They are “Two terrible children of two terrible fathers” and one day when Tyrion gets drunk enough, he’ll tell her why he killed his.
Terrible Dany 1 Terrible Dany 2

He tells her that although Jorah did betray her for so long with Varys, he trusts him and the only other person he can say that about is his brother. Which, I’m not sure if he should because that brother (Jamie) promised Bronn he’ll kill him on sight.

Dany says she has decided not to kill Little Lannister, and to take him up on his offer to be Advisor. The man is full of wisdom and this is the wisest thing she’s done in recent memory. He wants to help her get what she wants, and she says it’s the Iron Throne. He is not too sure she should try for it but she’s set on it. He points out that the only supporters she currently has are the poor people of Meereen. The Lannisters and the Targaryens do not get along. The Starks are all gone (well, the kids remain but no one knows), Stannis wants the throne himself so that exes out the Baratheons, the Boltons are nuts (and not really that powerful), so that leaves the Tyrells.

Stormborn tells him that she doesn’t want to become a spoke in the wheel. “I’m not going to stop the wheel. I am going to break the wheel.”

Tyrion Dany 1 Tyrion Dany 2



At Castle Black, Gilly is nursing Sam back to health from the asswhooping he received the night before. Just then, Ollie, Jon’s steward comes in bearing food for him. He wants to speak with Sam alone so Gilly excuses herself. The Wildlings killed his family and destroyed his village. Why would Jon want to save them? Sam explains that Jon is trying to save THEM all because the war that is coming with the White Walkers is going to need as many people as possible. The Lord Commander is taking a risk but they are ALL going to face definite death if the men of the Night’s Watch are supposed to go at this alone. Sam says “Don’t worry. He always comes back” as the boy leaves.

The Night’s Watch men (and Turmond) arrive at Hardhome, where the Wildlings are. There’s A LOT of Wildlings, and this is already terrifying. As their boats stop, they are met by the Lord of Bones. Turmond speaks and says he needs to speak with the elders. The Lord of Bones is calling him all sorts of traitors when Jon says they’re allies and he comes at Turmond.

Lord of Bones

Big mistake. The redhead kills him in 5 slams. Now… to the elders.

Jon tells the Elders of the Windlings that the White Walkers are coming. He is not there to make friends. He is there to give them all a fighting chance to stay alive, and they cannot do it if they don’t fight this war together. He even hands them dragonglass, saying that is the only thing known to kill the White Walkers. One of them asks where Mance Rayder is, and Jon admits to shooting an arrow through his heart. WOMP. Sir, you suck at diplomacy sometimes. The Wildlings are about to get at him when Turmond steps in. Jon killed Mance as an act of mercy because he was going to be burned at stake by Stannis. He is one honorable crow.

Sooo… what are they gonna do? Go with Jon or stay behind? “My ancestors would pit on me if I broke bread with a crow.” One of the lone women elders, named Karsi says “So would mine but fuck em. They’re dead.”

Karsi the Wildling

WELP. On Turmond’s word and vouching for Jon, she’s in. But one of the Wildlings, named Thenn, is all “Nah, B.” Fuck you too, den. As this meeting is happening, their resident giant is watching.

About 5,000 Wildlings agree to roll with Jon, so they’re all being loaded on the boats. Karsi puts her kids on one of the boats and promises she’ll be right behind them. Jon and Turmond are keeping the neat queue going when a sound comes from the mountains. Everyone looks up and at first, they don’t know what’s happening. Then Thenn instructs his men to close the gate.

WIGHTS ARE COMING. What are those? They’re the army of the dead that White Walkers use. Anyone they kill (who isn’t burned) becomes one. Chaos breaks loose as the boats hurriedly leave. The Night’s Men tell Jon to get on the boat and he says no. He must stay and fight with them. He promises that they will be allowed south of the wall. At this point, I’m at home screaming GET ON THE FUCKING BOAT, JON. But he doesn’t listen to me. He jumps into the action, like the noble bastard he is and I love him.

Jon fight 1 Jon fight 2

Wights jump all up through the gate. Wildlings are killing as many as they can, and getting killed. Karsi the badass woman is slaying them left and right. Jon and Turmond are also in the heat of the battle. They have to find the dragonglass because White Walkers are always close behind wights. Jon realizes that it must be in the shack where they had the elders meeting. The giant breaks out from there and is fighting all the wights, who have no effect on him. Jon and Thenn enter the shack and in walks a White Walker with his blazing blue eyes. FAQUE.

Thenn attempts to fight him but is swiftly killed by the sword of ice. Jon is looking for the dragonglass to no avail as the White Walker comes towards him. He is no weakling and he’s fast so he avoids being stabbed. He does get hit, so he’s not at full capacity. He somehow gets out the shack and falls into the snow, weakened by the blow and the White Walker comes out. Jon avoids being stabbed at the last moment by using his sword to keep it at bay and they fight.

At this point, my heart is in my THOAT and I had to pause to catch my breath. My nerves were shot to hell and my blood pressure was SKY HIGH. un-pauses

So Jon takes one strong swing and stabs the White Walker, who explodes into dust.

Jon White Walker 2

WHHHAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTT. Jon’s sword killed it?!? Dragonglass is NOT the only thing that can be used to kill them. As this battle is happening 4 White Walkers on horses are watching from above the mountain. One of them, named the Night’s King, is intrigued when he sees Jon destroy his man.

Meanwhile, Karsi’s still kicking ass and taking wight names on the battlefield. All of a sudden, she sees 5 child wights and stops. This is her downfall because they all attack her at once. Gahtdambit. She dead.

Jon is back with Turmond and one of his other Night’s Watch men and things have settled when they look up and see an army of wights jumping down from the mountain. THEY ARE ENDLESS. And at this point, they outnumber them. All the men can do is run to the boats. With the giant behind them keeping the wights at bay, the men make it to their remaining boat and start rowing.

The wights cannot come into water so they stay. All the men can do is watch the remaining Wildlings be killed by these undead. Dambit.

As the boat slowly rows away, and the giant enters the water, the Night’s King (aka Master White Walker) walks to the front to see them go. This is not the kind of goodbye anyone would want. Him and Jon Snow lock eyes, in a staring contest that gave me the heeby jeebies.

Then, he slowly raises his hands and all the bodies around him get up. The dead Wildlings are now Wights, and they number in the thousands. If Jon and his men thought they might have escaped, that triumph was temporary because what will meet them later on is thousands of these things. The Night’s King was basically like “Oh you think you got people? CHALLONJ.”

Come at me bro

Well, shit.

FAQUE. FACK. FUCK. I can’t. I’m unable to can. My ability to can is on break. Cans are backordered. I wish I could but I can’t.

This show, man. It needs to come with warnings of “please apologize to your neighbors in advance.”

So Valyrian steel and dragon glass are the only things that can kill white walkers. Who else (besides Jon) got Valyrian steel? Arya, right?

How many giants are left? Are they in this fight too? Because One-One came through in the clutch at Hardhome. We need Two-Two.

How much Valyrian Steel is around? Who got it? Right now, we know Jon has it. And apparently, Brienne of Tarth who got hers from Jamie. Joffrey had one but was it buried with him or did someone take it? Was Arya’s needle made of Valyrian Steel? People are always impressed when they see it. Who else??

How much dragonglass is left? Do we need to Amazon Prime these? I mean, clearly they need to stock up. Seriously. Also, Jon never did find the dragonglass in the shack. Does the giant have it?

Did Jon kill the White Walker because of his Valyrian Steel or was it a combo of that and his dragon blood? Now more than ever, I am convinced that he’s a Targaryen. R + L = J is all but confirmed at this point. If you don’t know what that is, Google it! I don’t have any doubt that he is TRUE son of fire and ice… I feel like his badassness shows it (that and all the bold hints that have been dropped this season especially).

The TWO people who cannot die are Tyrion and Jon. They’ve faced death MANY TIMES but they keep telling it “Not today. When Tyrion Lannister and Jon Snow meet and unite forces, they will be unstoppable.

Also, more than ever the Dragonness of it all will come in handy. I need him and Dany to meet, and her bad ass dragons. They will be needed to defeat these White Walkers, and to burn bodies so they don’t just add to the army.

BTW, Tormund and Jon are a good team. They really did do some damage tonight and them coming together to protect the wall will be so important. They’re bonded tonight, having saved each others’ asses.

Episode 9s on GoT have definitely dropkicked us in the head. Ned’s beheading happened in season 1, episode 9. The Red Wedding was season 3, episode 9. If we follow that pattern, season 5, episode 9 is going to be a doozer.

The winner of tonight’s #GameofThrones was Jon Snow’s hair. Shit still looked all luxurious even after near death. He is so #bae. In fact, feast your eyes on them:

Those curls never let him down.

Those curls never let him down.

Winter ain’t coming. Winter has brought its cold ass. It is here. And everyone is fucked.

Anywho, discuss! Those of you who’ve read the Game of Thrones books. SHUT YOUR TRAPS ABOUT SPOILERS TO COME IF YOU’RE COMMENTING ON MY BLOG! Don’t make me fight you and block you from ever commenting here again. That is all. JUST DISCUSS THE SHOW UP TO THIS POINT!

I’ll be in Morocco next week when the 9th episode of airs but I’ll find a way to watch it because I know shit’s gon hit the fan.

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  1. Cookie Stark
    June 1, 2015 at 5:12 am

    Longclaw is able to kill White Walkers because it is Dragon-forged Valyrian steel. Brienne’s sword cannot because it is the result of Ice (Stark Blade) being melted down and reforged, but that blade was also dragon forged. The difference is that all great swords used to come out of Old Valyria where the Iron workers used dragons to forge blades which made them so valuable. All of the family blades that are Valyrian steel are very ancient, and have been passed down since the First Men.

    Yes I’m a raging geek.

    • M
      June 1, 2015 at 9:59 am

      Any Valyarian steel blade would be able to kill a white walker, on the show they just don’t know it yet. They only know of Dragon glass.

    • Nina M
      June 1, 2015 at 10:12 am

      Cookie Stark. *giggle*giggle*

    • LLJ
      June 1, 2015 at 1:05 pm

      Cookie, you have company because I am a huge GoT geek too!

  2. pup
    June 1, 2015 at 6:15 am

    I am convinced Jon Snow is a Stark-Targaryen….Ned Stark’s NEPHEW. Child of Ned’s sister and the Mad King when she was kidnapped and raped by him. I HAVE SPOKEN!!!

    By the by…will someone please tell me what is the difference between a “wight” and a White Walker?! I thought they were all the same zombies. Please help a sista out!

    • June 1, 2015 at 7:29 am

      That is what R + L = J is. It’s a theory that Rhaegar (Targaryen) and Lyanna (Stark) are the real parents of Jon Snow. So YOY have spoken and so has the entire internet and readers of the books.

      • Serenity
        June 1, 2015 at 10:31 am

        That just blew my mind… Jon Snow could have dragon blood in him. that would explain why Aemon took such a liking to him

    • June 1, 2015 at 7:30 am

      The Wights are the ARMY. They can be killed by regular swords. They’re undead, so they’re dead bodies who have been turned into zombie-like things. White Walkers are the TRUE scary mofuckas who can only be killed with Dragonglass and Valyrian Steel.

      • Tamika
        June 1, 2015 at 10:30 am

        I think the White Walkers are made from the male sons (newborns)of Gilly’s straight up crazy father/baby daddy.

        • Serenity
          June 1, 2015 at 10:34 am

          Not all of them… they have women in there too

    • Ashleigh
      June 1, 2015 at 7:47 am

      You’re right but you’re wrong. The Mad King was Aerys II Targaryen, father of Rhaegar Targaryen. Rhaegar would have become king if the Targ dynasty wasn’t overthrown by Robert Baratheon & then. R + L = J says that Rhaegar & Lyanna (Ned Stark’s sister) were lovers (kidnapping story was spread by Targ opposers to save face) and that Jon Snow (Targaryen) is the result of that affair, born in the Tower of Joy at the end of Robert’s Rebellion which is why Lyanna makes Ned promise her to protect her baby bc Robert (via Tywin Lannister) was killing all Targaryen children so there would be no future challenge to Baratheon rule.

      • Char
        June 1, 2015 at 11:34 pm

        is Rhaegar Targaryen, Daenerys’ Father or her brother?

        • dawn
          June 2, 2015 at 6:42 am

          Rhaegar is her brother. Aerys (The Mad King) was her dad. Jon Snow would be her nephew.

        • Cubalibre
          June 3, 2015 at 6:07 pm

          Viserys was Dany’s brother (he was killed by Khal Drogo for being an ass, but Dany named one of her dragons after him)–Rhaegar was her father. Aerys was their grandfather.

          *sigh* I’m officially a nerd.

        • Cubalibre
          June 3, 2015 at 6:10 pm

          OK, wait–Rhaegar WAS a brother (didn’t realize she had more than one). The Targaeryans were so incestuous, it’s hard to keep ’em all in line…Dang! Nerd card = pulled. 😀

    • NeNe
      June 1, 2015 at 7:49 am

      I so agree with this and have come to the same conclusion. Jon is Ned’s nephew and he took him when the stuff went down with the Mad King. I need that flashback to happen!!

      A wight is just a zombie basically. They don’t control much of what they do, they just know kill. The White Walkers control the wights and can bring folks back.

    • whilome
      June 3, 2015 at 9:12 pm

      I’m thinking a WhiteWalker is a sentient person (maybe turned like those babies from Craster’s Keep) that is raised into the life of blue-eyed undead. The wights are just dead bodies turned into a zombified goon army.

  3. Nay
    June 1, 2015 at 7:05 am

    I THINK the Whits are the army and the White Walkers are like the Generals, the Executive Team.

  4. June 1, 2015 at 7:07 am

    During the entire white walker scene, I kept thinking “Any minute now, they’re going to break out into the Thriller dance. Then all of this won’t seem so scary.”

    Alas, there was no pop music backed choreography and my grown ass is still shook. Some things you can’t un-see and a bunch of zombie babies and the badass King of the soulless are two of those things 😐

    • June 1, 2015 at 7:12 am

      Oh, and the mad scientist never asked Cer-bear to confess. He merely advised her there was a way to “end this” if she wanted. Knowing his talents, I’m more than a little curious as to what debauchery he’s angling for.

      • Ashleigh
        June 1, 2015 at 7:49 am

        Right?!!! Right before Qyburn left he said “The work continues.”

    • Summer
      June 1, 2015 at 8:55 am

      Do you know how the severity of my screams if those things started doing Michael’s choreography?? Now I’m picturing it and dancing along. Thank you for this.
      As for Cersi… I’d love the answer to this bc I didn’t pay attention to that part.

    • JardanP
      June 8, 2015 at 4:06 pm

      I’m with you on that! I was kicking myself for watching it so late at night… all I thought about were all of the wight babies waiting for me to fall asleep….

  5. […] 1 June 2015 | 7:46 am I was advised to take a mild sedative before watching episode 8 of Game of Throne season 5. I didn't listen. Lawdt, I did not listen. Let's just get into it. Jon Snow Turmond Game of Thrones … […]

  6. Trini_mini
    June 1, 2015 at 7:52 am

    In the book series, Sam reads an ancient book that says that dragonsteel is able to kill the White Walkers and he and Jon theorized that dragonsteel is Valyrian steel. So basically the show spoiled that reveal for book readers. In that same conversation we learn that most major and some minor houses have an ancestral weapon made of Valyrian steel (There are thought to be about 200 valyrian steel swords/axes/daggers existing still in Westeros). Also let’s not forget that the dagger that was used in Bran’s attempted murder was also made of Valyrian steel.

  7. Niki
    June 1, 2015 at 9:13 am

    I’ve been looking forward to your recap since the moment last night’s episode, which I’ve lovingly renamed “Game of Thrones – The Walking Dead edition”, went off. I probably should have waited until I got home to read it though because cackling uncontrollably in a quiet office is generally frowned upon.

    You covered everything perfectly especially Jon Snow and his beautiful curls. Why is it so perfect even on the water? What sorcery is it that keeps it so shiny, flowing and wavy in the face of everything? I need his secrets.

    • Cris
      June 2, 2015 at 6:03 pm

      Turmond said “He’s prettier than both my daughters, but he knows how to fight.” Well…

  8. Serenity
    June 1, 2015 at 9:34 am

    That ep was entirely too gansta. I was sleepy when GoT started and completely wound up when it was done. I even had nightmares of whitewalkers getting me on MARTA so bad my God and cat had to comfort me in the middle of the night. Damn HBO….

  9. Kemi
    June 1, 2015 at 9:59 am

    Tyrion and Jon already met at the Night’s Watch, but I’m looking for all three, Jon, Tyrion, and Dany to break bread together. I read another theory that is particularly interesting regarding the three of them as three heads of the dragon. That Tyrion may not be truly be a Lannister and really a Tygarian cause in the books he has almost white hair and two different colored eyes. Maybe they can break Westeros into three parts and be the baddest dopest rulers there ever was…

    • RevengeIsSweet
      June 1, 2015 at 2:49 pm


      Go back to Season 4 E10 when the three-eyed raven guy tells Bran :”you’ll never walk again, but you will fly…”

      I haven’t read the books, but the only way Bran (or anyone in that world) can fly is atop a dragon, so I assume that at some point, Bran will worg into one of the dragons to kick him some icy a$$…

      I’m worried about Jon…they keep showing Ollie giving him the evil eye…and that kid knows how to use a bow…

      • Serenity
        June 2, 2015 at 5:28 am

        Bran is a warg. He would be able to fly through birds

        • dawn
          June 2, 2015 at 6:46 am

          Bran can merge with any animal he chooses to basically. Remember he had the dreams as Summer (his dire wolf) even before he met the Reed kids and went to meet the three eyed raven.

  10. Blackberry Molasses
    June 1, 2015 at 10:19 am

    this episode made up for the whackness that was last week’s episode (save Cersei getting thrown in the hoosegow). speaking of Cersei… i’m wondering if Qyburn has something up his sleeve. remember that the Mountain isn’t dead (likely undead) at this point and i still think Cersei has the option of a Trial by Combat. the undead Mountain could be her champion….

    i KNEW we were gonna see white walkers and wights and i was geeked and yet scared at the same time. this episode’s budget had to be stratospheric. that’s a lot of CGI. it was GREAT.
    i knew that Karsi was fucked, because they went to great lengths during the council meeting to get you to like her, and then when she kissed her children goodbye and promised she was right behind them i was like “SHE DEAD.” a note about wights- they’re not completely mindless– they retain some of their memories of their life, after becoming undead.

    arya’s Needle is castle forged steel, not valyrian steel so its a no-go. the reason people are impressed with it because they think she’s lowborn, so having castle forged steel is a big deal. it makes sense (and was confirmed) that valyrian steel would be able to kill white walkers because its was originally forged in dragonfire and imbued with magic spells, much like the wall itself. many other houses have ancestral valyrian steel weapons and they’re gonna need ’em.

    season 5 has all but confirmed that R+L=J. but in the prophecy, the dragon has three heads, like the sigil of house Targaryen. Danereys is the first, Jon is likely the second. who is the third person of Targaryen blood still running around? it COULD be Stannis. his grandmother is Rhaelle Targaryen… and Orys Baratheon, founder of the House after Aegon’s Conquest is rumored to be the bastard brother of Aegon the Conqueror and was given Storm’s End as a reward for being one of Aegon’s fiercest generals during the War of Conquest.

    • LLJ
      June 1, 2015 at 1:09 pm

      I wouldn’t be surprised if Tyrion is not Tywin’s son. In the books, there was some hint about the mother having the eye of one of the Targaryen’s and Tywin didn’t like it. Not much was made of it, but ….

      • SmithBerry
        June 1, 2015 at 3:20 pm

        I think the third person is Gully’s baby boy….

        • Blackberry Molasses
          June 2, 2015 at 3:22 pm

          he can’t be. he’s Craster’s son and he’s too young to factor in.
          to be a “head of the dragon” you need to have the blood of the dragon — Targaryen blood. the prophecy speaks of the prince who was promised– a Targaryen who would save the world. but Maester Aemon said it could also mean princess. so far the known living people (in the show anyway) with Targaryen blood include Danereys, likely Jon Snow, definitely Stannis (and Shireen) Baratheon, and possibly Trystane Martell, since Dorne was brought into the Seven Kingdoms by a marriage pact between House Martell and House Targaryen.

    • tmd
      June 2, 2015 at 12:50 pm

      I like Brienne of Tarth as the third dragon head. I think she is a descendent of Ser Duncan the Tall, who was very close to Aegon Targaryen. No one seems to know who her mother is, there are a couple of Targaryen sisters with no history as to who they married or had kids with, and that adds to the mystery. Also she has Valyrian steel, just like John Snow. She’s an outcast like him too, but a very moral, loyal and honorable person.

  11. ItsNotMeItsYou
    June 1, 2015 at 10:37 am

    I know Jon Snow is bae, but I would gladly give my panties to Tormund Giantsbane. That rough ginger could get it all day all day

    • Ooop She Tried It
      June 1, 2015 at 11:48 am

      So RUDE! I am here for all of that, tho.

      I am also not opposed to being in the middle of that bae sandwich, since they are homies now.

    • Ms_FatBottom
      June 1, 2015 at 4:57 pm

      You stay away from my man!

  12. June 1, 2015 at 11:22 am

    Beloved. I have read the books. It is my deepest prayer that Cersei’s fate is one and the same on the show. You will ALL die and resurrect. It will be everything the PetTea Boop Clique desires. I wish I could be in a room with all of you when it airs. The gasps and gags would be Oscar worthy. Do wear pearls. They will be clutched.

    • NawwwBish
      June 1, 2015 at 6:25 pm

      Lawdt, I would get my entire life with a watch party with the Petty Party! I just wanna see the faces when they reveal the third head of the dragon (Jon, Danyboo, and ……. 🙂 #velcroitvishnu because they would all shit themselves.
      p.s. I make the most bomb guac. Shit will have you throwing your house slippers AND Slapping your grandmaw.

  13. Laurie
    June 1, 2015 at 1:09 pm

    Loved it. Best episode this season. I read that interesting take on Tyrion too that Kemi brought up. His mother and Aerys Targaryen (who had his eye on her) are his true parents and he would be the one of the 3 riders needed for the Dragons. Dany, Jon & Tyrion. That blew my mind.

  14. LLJ
    June 1, 2015 at 1:11 pm

    Excellent episode and recap. Don’t forget that the 4th charge against Cersei was the murder of King Robert. If you remember back in Season 1, she had cousin Lancel give him enough wine to make him impaired during that fateful boar hunt.

  15. bawlmergirl
    June 1, 2015 at 1:26 pm

    Luvvie SLAYS – “How much dragonglass is left? Do we need to Amazon Prime these? ”

    Seconded by Leave It to Brittni – “During the entire white walker scene, I kept thinking “Any minute now, they’re going to break out into the Thriller dance.”

  16. Kim
    June 1, 2015 at 1:57 pm

    So some background on the Night’s King……when he was human he was 13th commander of the nights watch. (Without getting into the backstory too much) He was eventually defeated by the king over the wall and the king in the north who was his brother. The Starks have run the north for ages so (theory only….not a spoiler) the Night’s King may be a Stark. This may come to nothing and it may not be true. Just another nugget to twist in your brain.

    • dawn
      June 2, 2015 at 6:49 am

      ooohhhh I had no idea. The small GoT geek in me is excited! I can’t wait to see/read how it all ends. The man needs to get those last two books out!

    • StillSuga
      June 2, 2015 at 12:47 pm

      Where is this extra info coming from? Am I skipping chapters in the books?

  17. Gameofthronegotsnoloveforme
    June 1, 2015 at 2:04 pm

    Oh my freaking God..still gasping for air. ..Epic episode. That’s all I can say. ..Epic! Wait no mention of Wun Wun? He knocked of those wrights and others as if they were pests. Jon Snow, boo thank God you’re still here . Epic…

    • Queen Tart
      June 2, 2015 at 9:13 pm

      I was so afraid Wun Wun was gonna get killed and become a wight

  18. Carriecnh12
    June 1, 2015 at 2:08 pm

    This last episode of GOT left me with my mouth open, I had to call my sister at work and tell her that “Winter has come, and its freezing”, the entire season has been everything all other shows wished they could be (looking at you scandal and GA). It was filled with all the suspense you could ever need, with Sansa finally confronting Thereek, I have been waiting for her to find out about her bros forever, and now finally she has a small glimmer of hope in this desolate wasteland.

    Arya, I don’t know about Arya yet, I worry for her because I don’t trust the blond bob, she is super shifty.

    I literally cheered and laughed out loud at Cersi, as they say pride goes before a fall, and she had the most pride of anyone on the whole show, now I just need a scene with Margery gloating and dancing to uptown funk in front of Cersi. But how could Cersi expect Tommen to do anything, she has made him into a weakling and thereby completely worthless as a king, all of her chickens are finally coming home to roost.

    Jon, oh Jon, I was so worried for the prettiest crow of them all, I thought it was hilarious the wildlings all kept making fun of how good looking he is. That battle scene was one of the best of any tv show, when ever a wildling died, I was like Welp another one for the walker army, but I did not realise how many wildlings were in Hardhome till that last scene, where it shows the landscape just absolutely covered in the undead, Jon’s facial expression captured my thoughts to a tee “What in de heck, we gon all die”
    An yes my suspicion that Jon is a true Targaryean were confirmed when he lived after being cut by that walker general’s blade, because a simple cut or stab is enough to not only kill but turn a regular person, . Night King was all “I see you young buck and I accept you challenge”

  19. MonMon
    June 1, 2015 at 3:00 pm

    JUST WATCHED!!!! OMG….I don’t even know what to say…..I KNEW Hardhome was gonna be awesome! DANG!

    Episodes 9 and 10 have to do a LOT to top this one!

  20. Kat
    June 1, 2015 at 3:00 pm

    Can someone pleaseeeee make a GIF of the Giant throwing shade at the night’s watch dude and saying “What da fuq you looking at?”! I dam near died! Lol!’

    • Kim
      June 2, 2015 at 11:57 am

      Kat I did die. That was hilarious. I mean who gonna jump fly with a giant?

  21. Jason
    June 1, 2015 at 4:40 pm

    Ay episode nine is trill EVERY season. Season 2 ep. 9 was the Battle of Blackwater, Season 4 ep. 9 was the Battle at the Wall. I’m putting my money on next week being the Battle of Winterfell(and apparently Jorah in the gladiator pit too), can’t wait, going to fire up the camera to post the reactions at the watch party lol.

  22. muppet
    June 1, 2015 at 5:36 pm

    “Oh you think you got people? CHALLONJ.”

    I laughed for a solid minute. I always love your recaps Luvvie, but this one has been one of your finest. Agree with every. single. point. And it was only in one of your previous recaps I first heard about R + L = J. And now I’m obsessed with this theory and can’t accept it to be anything other than a true story.

    Also, speaking of bastard children with a potential right to the throne, what ever happened to robert baratheon’s bastard son Gendry? Last we saw him was 3 seasons ago floating out to sea. Seems a bit of a big untied loose end. Plus I just liked him as a character and wanted to see more from him.

    And speaking of hints, I’m hoping all this talk about Bran will mean we’ll finally see him again soon. At this rate, dude will be balding and pudgy by the time he’s on our screens again. And fun fact of the day: Did you know the actor that plays Hodor is also a drag queen DJ? He has regular sets here in the UK. I would love to see him on the decks, but alas I’m too old and too tired to go to raves.

    All in all this season has renewed my faith in the show, because ain’t gonna lie, aside from Joffrey’s death and Tyrion’s trial, I wasn’t feeling S4 at all. Roll on episode 9!

    • Kim
      June 2, 2015 at 12:03 pm

      Well Bran and Hodor weren’t even called back this season. They’ll be back next season. He really had a small role up until this point in the books.

    • Me
      June 3, 2015 at 4:02 pm

      Remember the Red Queen got ahold of Gendry back in season 2 (I think) – they captured him when he was still with Arya & Hot Pie. She seduced him like her hoe ass always does, then sliced & diced him to get his blood.

      It doesn’t pay to get attached to anybody in this show ‘cuz the writers just won’t let anybody be Great. I still have my two boos Jon & Tyrion but I wouldn’t be surprised if they end up dispatched too because…Game of Thrones.

  23. Catrese
    June 1, 2015 at 8:54 pm

    I was SCREAMING at John to get on the boat too!!! What killed me during negotiations was when dude said “He’s prettier than both my daughters…” That gave me a new reason to live!

  24. chicanica
    June 1, 2015 at 10:03 pm

    I hope this isn’t a spoiler since HBO has already revealed much that is not in the books, but it is believed Jon is also a warg. Is it wrong for me to want Tyrion and Daenerys to get together?!!!!

  25. Denise
    June 1, 2015 at 11:02 pm

    This episode was well worth the wait this season. BTW, I howled at “Scientology nun”. STILL giggling!

  26. Lex
    June 1, 2015 at 11:58 pm

    1. We’re sorry, the can you have tried to reach is not available.
    2. Bobby Shmurda threw my can up in the air about a week ago.
    3. I Can Acknowledge None of This

    A little sad the on the run tour is over, but I’m here for Bonnie and Clyde. T was reading like the queen of thrones and they had all the wine.

  27. Marcus Sun
    June 2, 2015 at 2:36 am
    • muppet
      June 2, 2015 at 2:52 pm

      true story

  28. Stephanie Yeboah
    June 2, 2015 at 4:24 am

    I’M SO MAD that NONE of you refused to acknowledge the Wildling giant wading through the water at the end with his woes like “dis tew much”.

    I cackled for a solid 10 minutes.

  29. Stephanie
    June 2, 2015 at 4:31 am

    In regards to the 3 heads of the dragon – I don’t think it’s Tyrion. Myself (and the other book readers) probably know who it is but since the show has gone rogue from the books, it could end up being anybody at this point.

    With the 3 heads scenario though, I really hope the show keeps in line with the book because THAT REVEAL is going to blow everything out the water. #EffWhatYouThought

  30. Special
    June 2, 2015 at 5:35 pm

    Is no one gonna mention the perfectly wavy coif of Turmonds?

  31. Dantotsu
    June 2, 2015 at 10:26 pm

    I’m happy to see D&D starting to answer at least a few of the theories and speculations out, along with dropping mad hints! The Night’s King appeared (who was part of the NW), VS kills White Walkers, Jon’s parentage, and probably trouble caused by Ollie. GoT is the SHYT!

  32. Monica
    June 3, 2015 at 12:32 pm

    I am unimpressed with Tyrion’s “advising” Dany so far. I was giving him the side-eye when he was told her to stay in Mereen. He may have hated/resented his father but he’s still a Lannister, and he loves his brother Jamie above all others. After being wrongly accused of killing Joffrey, there’s no way in hell that Tyrion is going to thank Jamie for saving his life by heading over to Kings Landing to depose Jamie’s only surviving son. Especially after he killed Jamie’s beloved father. As far as he knows Jamie is in the capital helping Tommen rule. He wants her to stay in Mereen for his own reasons. I think Varys would have made a better adviser since hes not supporting one house over the other and would be more objective.
    It’s looking like R+L=J, I think Jon is the blending of fire (Targaryen) and ice (Stark). The battle was terrifyingly awesome.

  33. June 6, 2015 at 1:10 pm


    Best episode of the season. We all know it. No way they top this.

  34. January 19, 2016 at 9:34 am

    […] text or check the Warriors score. You have your head buried in that phone like you are watching the Hardhome episode of Game of Thrones. The big reveal of The Crying Game. The part of The Sixth Sense when we finally understand what’s […]

  35. January 27, 2016 at 6:45 am

    This episode only gets me wired for further seasons/episodes to come!!!! Like you said, once the good parties unite to save humanity, shit’s gonna hit Da fan!!!!!! Those dragons once trained can cause some serious damage (and burnage!!!) so let get this show on the road!!! Writers and directors are fabulous. Nough said. I’m obviously post maturely watching this for the first time b/c we did not have HBO or purchase the season until it came out, and now I’m binging on season 4!!! ???????????????? Best episode ever, TWDead just has nothing on this!! ???????? Yes, that’s right, this show is INcredible!..I’m done. Kill Cersei too…that is all ????????