Whose Uncle is This, Shining Bright Like a Diamond?
I love African people because our prayers be on a different level. You just cannot out-pray an African. We use all types of metaphors and what nots.
My year was MADE when I saw this tweet because the shiny suit was everything I needed in my life!
Whew! He is shining BRIGHT and this is how you will shine in the year 2015 indeed. You know that suit is HOT. Literally. It might burn your hand if you touch it. Play around and get third degree burns if you accidentally pass by him and graze his arm.
Also, is this for a wedding? Did the bride approve of this ensemble? He’s trying to outshine every piece of decoration too. And his groomsmen look PISSED that he just made them wear those boring ass brown suits. Looking like “Oh I see what you did.” You know he ain’t let them see his #alphet until the day of and he walked out rocking the fabric of what I imagine Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak is made of. If homeboy runs fast, I bet he’d disappear. Because: bad science.
This suit is the ultimate hater blocker because you’d blind your naysayers if you turn to a certain angle in high noon. It’s like a superhero costume. Your power: harnessing solar energy. I want one.
I just love how flashy African folks be sometimes. Subtlety be hella busy when it comes to us and our special occasions. We be ready to slay and this dude is no different.
So I shared this on my Awesomely Luvvie Facebook page and as always, people wan kill me die with laughter.
“Turn him on 450. He roasting.” – TJ
“Look at Ceelo…” – DO
“I thought shiny suits went out with Mase and Puffy in the 90s” – TD
“Dis little suit of mine…I’m gonna let it shine…..” – SB
“Ermigawd…dude looks like the tin man from wizard of oz. First name Reynolds, last name Wrap. It’s too early in the year Luvvie!!! I thought I was delivert! All that watch meeting last night…and now this shat…ughhhh” – LA
“What Silver Surfer wore to church after he got saved.” – SW
“I see lawsuits for spontaneous blindness & car accidents for all who cross his path. JESUS!!!!” – LMB
“You. know. what? THIS IS BRUH OUT IN THAT SUN!” – APK
“This solar panel suit is giving me energy and saving me money at the same time” – MW
“Fresh from Da Oven Records presents, Loomis M. Furl and The Parchment 3 with their hit single, Stick A Fork In My Love, I’m Done.” – DCP
“Now I want a baked potato, not sure why…” – AJ
“He gonna have 7 years of bad luck if he fall and break. Mirror lookin ass…” – TJ
“THE TIN MAN FOUND SOME OIL. AND FORMED THE NEW FOUR TOPS GROUP.” – LJ
“This mofo looks like he’s trying to stop aliens from probing him … All he needs is a Foil Helmet to make the outfit complete ” – JM
“Yep. He is out shining his friends. He also will be fully cooked in an hour and a half.” – AH
“Slide some oil to me… And let me lubricate my mind!!!!” – SC
“The reflections bouncing off that suit causing planes in the vicinity to make emergency landings.” – DMS
“He look like robo-cop.” – VP
“I bet he smells like mustard greens water and earring backs under there” – JB
“I’m not standing next to anyone that I can see myself in their shirt.” – TJ
“Set the oven timer for 2.5 hours. The turkey is ready to go in.” – BO
“That suit either causes or cures cancer. I’m not sure which. – YTD
“He’s gonna spontaneously combust.” – MR
“He charges his phone and drives his car with all the energy from that suit!!” – ZP
“His bottom half looks damn near invisible” – HB
“I know his groin area smells like boiled hog maws in that tin foil contraption. Sun just steaming everything. Sealing in all the juices.” – KC
“These comments though…I just knew I was gonna have a nice normal New Year’s Day and now this fool off up in here tryna charbroil his nads in the name of Jesus…
#iwillnotacceptthis” – CL
“Surely he stumbled upon a cottage deep down in the woods where a tiny old wizard sewed the magical suit with fairy tale thread that he thought was a gift but came with a warning that he neglected to read when he signed the parchment with a feathered quill…when he left the cottage he turned to say thank you and it was GONE!” – LD
“This was my NYE outfit. I was trying to signal Jesus.” – MG
“He knows good and damned well that his location is too hot for all that. Sun might could have his bride out here asking if she wants Crispy or Grilled.” – MJ
“Looking like a Chipotle burritto. ” – LA
“If he has cocoa butter on…he is about done in two hours…his wife is gonna get a hot weiner with roasted nuts.” – MR
“A heat seeking missile has locked in on a target” – SB
“Looks like the liquid guy in the Terminator movies.” – OP
“He lives in a refrigerated truck, right? With a pet penguin.” – MM
“That boy dressed like 20 inch rim huh…..” – DW
“He could kill so many ants with the right sunlight.” – CN
“I wonder how many channels I would get if I sat him on top of my tv #HoodSatellite” – CM
“He letting his SOUL GLOW FO DE LAWD! AHMEEEN!” – BR
“Jesus be a fence… And you can make it out of this here suit.” – DLF
“What did Judas do with his 30 pieces of Silver.” – EP
“with a suit like that, im pretty sure you can outshine the sun itself!” – KF
“The silver and gold quartet” – BW
“Is it one size fits all? I need that for jogging to generate more heat for my weight loss goals.” – CA
“He’s the beacon of light for all to see….” – MM
“Should we give him to Beyonce for having the best video of all times? Let’s get Kanye on it.” – SL
“He’s helping keep global warming down. After all scientists are trying to let clouds shine so they could reflect more sunlight back into space.” GM
Chile… LMAO!!! No behavior to be had. NONE. But yes. Whose uncle is this? Where did he get this fabric? I’m asking. For a flashy Nigerian named Luvvie. >___>