Famous folks

Justin Bieber Went from Spongebob to Johnny Bravo with Photoshop

We haven’t been able to get rid of Justin Bieber for 7 years, when he came ‘pon the scene with his helmet swoop and stole the hearts of giddy (and pitiful) teenagers everywhere singing “Baby Baby Baby oooooh.” He became Usher’s protege and then started showing out a fool, getting in all types of trouble.

ENNEHWEIGHS, Justin was tapped for one of those iconic Calvin Klein underwear ads and I wonder why, because he has the body of a 10 year old who scribbled all over his chest. All those tattoos and he still can’t make manly fetch happen. When the CK ads dropped, some folks were pleasantly surprised to see Mr. Bieber looking more swole than we all remember. He had some edge to him. LEMME FIND OUT BIEBER’S BEEN GYMMING.

Alas, nay. A website called BreatheHeavy got the tea, because someone sent them the unretouched pics of Justin to compare with the released campaign pic. MUCH difference.

Justin Bieber Retouched Calvin Klein ad

LMAOOO! They tried it so hard. Puffed out homie’s chest, gave him a larger back, enlarged his puny biceps, made his head smaller, his hands bigger, his thighs got more girth and…. his bulge actually BULGES.

Photoshop is an everlasting bastard. Look at the lies! They basically gave Justin a brand new body since his old one looks pre-pubescent. And that probably won’t sell underdraws. They #minuswell had just used a body double and placed Justin’s head gingerly on the neck. Same difference as what is here. He went from SpongeBob to Mini Johnny Bravo. THEY TRIED IT.


What if they just hired someone else who actually had the body to fill out their boxer briefs? This frankenbody nonsense. Is it by force? LAWD.

On top of all’at, word on the streets is that Justin was being a twerp on the set and “He was basically a douche. He hit on Lara several times and she had to stop him, basically calling him out on being just a child . . . Bieber specified he wanted to look taller and buff. Bigger bulge implied.”

Elton John shade face gif

Same look I had on my face, Sir Elton.

Welp. His wish was their command. But while they were taking these pics, was this facial expression the best out of all of them? Because he’s giving me confused realness instead of confident sexy. NAWL.

Photoshop is the ruiner of all things real. They play too damb much!

Previous post

Some Government Apps Still Require Netscape and Internet Explorer 6.0: Throwback Thursday

Next post

The Land of Abandoned People Needs Citizens. Here are My Nominations


  1. January 9, 2015 at 10:22 am

    Funny, they don’t show the tube they used to inflate him! And I wonder if he is going to start sagging about 3 am like one of those Walmart air mattresses?

  2. KayMee
    January 9, 2015 at 10:32 am

    Photoshop is the #debil.
    They even made his damn hands look bigger and, well, “manlier”. I don’t need to see a tatted up child parading around in tightie whities. #BringBackMarkieMark

    • paleo_wino
      January 9, 2015 at 11:29 pm

      Please let #bringbackmarkiemark become a real thing.

  3. ADawn
    January 9, 2015 at 10:34 am

    He also suddenly has manhands!!! WTF were they doing there???

  4. Toya Hankins
    January 9, 2015 at 10:38 am

    That Elton GIF has me at work like *where is my inhaler* and I don’t even have asthma. Cue Papa Pope-Justin, you are a boy.

    • charity
      January 9, 2015 at 11:24 am

      Sir Elton was not amused. And I, for one, am here for it.

  5. January 9, 2015 at 10:39 am

    Selena knew…she coulda told us instead she made us have to be petty. Why selena? why?

  6. January 9, 2015 at 10:53 am

    This makes me chuckle outloud… especially the man hands, because when your hands haven’t made it thru puberty yet – that’s how you know… #PoorLilTinkTink

    How they just gon stick Justin’s head on Adam Levine’s body? HOW SWAY?!

    • LuvvNationDisciple
      January 9, 2015 at 12:54 pm

      “because when your hands haven’t made it thru puberty yet – that’s how you know… #PoorLilTinkTink”

      i die a thousand deaths…

    • Amber
      January 9, 2015 at 2:56 pm

      HOW SWAY??????

    • Kyuna
      January 10, 2015 at 5:30 am

      Lmbo @ lil tink tink

    • Jim
      January 10, 2015 at 5:11 pm

      Needless to say they dont even look real to me…….iCant

  7. January 9, 2015 at 10:54 am

    I cannot stop staring at those before and after pics…

  8. lalarochelle
    January 9, 2015 at 10:56 am

    He goes to the same modeling school as Jaden Smith

  9. January 9, 2015 at 11:21 am

    Sooooooooo was Channing Tatum busy or nah?

    • Asia E.
      January 9, 2015 at 11:32 am

      Right!!! My man crush monday, tuesday, wednesday….etc etc lls

    • January 10, 2015 at 8:22 pm

      Okay? They could have saved themselves a lot of trouble had they just hired ole Magic Mike instead of this puny child. Mama Likey 8)

  10. Patricia
    January 9, 2015 at 11:22 am

    “But what if they just hired someone else who actually had the body to fill out their boxer briefs?” My thoughts exactly? I mean, wasn’t Dolvett Quince available?

  11. January 9, 2015 at 11:33 am

    I’m just gonna plop this in here for y’all to peruse more Bieber shenanigans.

    You’re welcome.


    • notconvincedgranny
      January 9, 2015 at 1:24 pm

      Roz, you know what you ain’t for that.

  12. Niki
    January 9, 2015 at 4:00 pm

    I got an image of you fighting the air yelling “They play too damb much!”, and it has me cackling like crazy!

  13. Kayla
    January 9, 2015 at 4:52 pm

    Now if he REALLY looked like that I might actually consider being a lil Beliber but uhm with all that Photoshop, yes I must ask why did they just find somebody who actually looks like that. John Cena anyone??? Like I know Photoshop and they must of used bout fifty-leven layers. I yawn. Bye Calvin Klein, bye.


  14. January 9, 2015 at 6:24 pm

    They made everything bigger except his head. His head shrunk.

    • MC
      January 9, 2015 at 9:14 pm

      Right! They took his head from Jimmy Neutron Boy Genius to Johnny Bravo.

  15. Bri
    January 9, 2015 at 7:47 pm

    I like scrawny men. They act like men have to fit this one body type.

  16. Cat
    January 9, 2015 at 8:42 pm

    They even gave him a little junk in the trunk along with the added junk in his trunks. Hmmm…

  17. Jim
    January 10, 2015 at 5:04 pm

    What’s up with those triceps? That ain’t it……NAWL. ABSOLUTE FAIL.

  18. January 10, 2015 at 8:26 pm

    I love you for including that GIF of the patron saint of shade Sir Elton John.

    I can see this little mannish child trying to push up on some grown woman when he probably doesn’t have any hair on his nethers. Why is he trying so hard?

  19. January 11, 2015 at 12:13 am

    I’m fairly certain Justin Bieber is punishment for something we all did really bad. But this feels like an extreme punishment.