Whose is this?

Whose Love Pocket Love Seat is This?

Sometimes, furniture can be really interesting, and I’m not just talmbout the IKEA bookcase named Billy (we all had it at one point, didn’t we? Until we moved for the first time and it crumbled into jagged little pieces when you tried to pick it up. I guess we shouldn’t expect too much from something we paid $28 for an was a 5-tier fake wood, terribly constructed with nothing but random twisty bolts).

Anywho, look at this couch, doe.

Love Pocket Couch

I’m immature as hell because I started giggling like SpongeBob while pointing. It’s all pink and brown and foldy in the right places. HEEEEEE. It’s like Austin Powers the International Man of Mystery designed it so he can say “YEAH BABY!” every time he enters his living room.

This couch is like a rorschach test we’d all fail. I know you technically can’t fail that test but I bet we’d find a way. This is a Love Pocket Love Seat with this camel toe upholstery. I bet its covering is cotton so it the leather can breathe properly. Does this couch self-clean or must it be douched? #NotAllCouches #YesAllSofas

That couch needs panties for when visitors come over because it’s a mothafugging lady and you will respect it!

Can kids sit on this sofa? I hope not because it feels inappropriate. Not until they have “the talk” anyway.

spongebob cackle gif

This brings new meaning to “Fuck yo couch!” Although with this one around, I wouldn’t promise anyone with that good time. HI-YOOOO!

Because everyone’s hilarious, here’s some names folks came up with for it:

The Love Pocket Love Seat – @StaceyNYDC

The Labia Lounge – @daniecal

The Slit Seat – @kia_who

The Snatch Settee – @Geisha_stan

The Clitoral Chaise – @marvel_girl88

But I ask whose randy couch is this??

P.S. You need this shirt. Get it on Teespring.

have-a-seat-tshirt 2

Although this might not be the particular seat you want to have.

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  1. August 22, 2014 at 11:34 am

    I just broke out in giggles. I can’t stop. I’m so mature……….

  2. August 22, 2014 at 11:35 am

    Coochie couch.

    • Veronica
      August 22, 2014 at 6:07 pm

      That did it. I’m done.

    • MissTish
      August 22, 2014 at 6:53 pm

      Go to your room, I CAN’T with you.

  3. lamar
    August 22, 2014 at 11:50 am

    I just need to know, does the open into a bed? I mean it would just HAVE to wouldnt it? Lol

  4. Kiana
    August 22, 2014 at 12:02 pm

    That’s clearly a “Couchie”.

    • Angela
      August 22, 2014 at 12:35 pm

      ^^^ you win the internet today!

  5. Sherri
    August 22, 2014 at 12:54 pm

    I’m a just guess that the upholstery was done my Georgia O’ Keeffe…

    • August 23, 2014 at 1:54 am

      You mean Georgia O’Queef?? Sit on it. You’ll see.

  6. fofana
    August 22, 2014 at 1:09 pm

    When I saw this pic,I was in the middle of listening to A Tribe Called Quest “Electric Relaxation” during the part when Phife says “Let me hit it from the back, girl/I won’t catch a hernia/Bust off on your couch/Now you got Seaman’s furniture.”……This couch just somewhat ruined a great song for me…..In the words of the late,great Rick James…”F*ck Yo Couch”.

  7. msvonnz
    August 22, 2014 at 1:31 pm

    “That couch needs panties for when visitors come over because it’s a mothafugging lady and you will respect it!”


  8. August 22, 2014 at 1:51 pm

    In my best George Takei voice…Oh my!
    I am surprised that they didn’t line the top of the couch with black fur and have a variety of penis shaped cushions (in different shades and sizes) tucked into the crevices. They should have taken it all the way. Either go big or go home…LOL

  9. Mason's Oreo
    August 22, 2014 at 2:24 pm

    “Can kids sit on this sofa? I hope not because it feels inappropriate. Not until they have “the talk” anyway.”

    What about adults though? Can you imagine inviting dad over to watch the game and have him sit on this? This is inappropriate for all of us!


  10. Carriecnh12
    August 22, 2014 at 3:07 pm

    As Luvvie would say “I haz questions”

    1. How thirsty was the person who designed and made this?
    2. What store manager let this be ordered?
    3. What store manager after seeing it arrive, let it be put on display?
    4. After putting it on display why didn’t they go the whole nine yards and not at strobe lights, a disco ball and a stripper pole?

    Who ever designed this was clearly going through a dry spell and all their thoughts became reality, you know the the saying, “if all wishes were horses all men would ride”, well the designer said I wish to sit in my favourite place, therefore I shall sit or lye down in my favourite place.

    • Christie
      August 22, 2014 at 9:13 pm

      I too, have questions. Is this a thrift store? On further inspection of said home decor, it appears this couch is used. The arm rests appear to be torn, noting the exposed wood (that’s what she said!).
      So not only is this a Coochie Couch, it’s a used Coochie Couch.

  11. Christie
    August 22, 2014 at 8:55 pm

    “Can kids sit on that couch?” Everyone except the Duggars; pretty sure that couch counts as premarital sex!

  12. eb
    August 22, 2014 at 10:25 pm

    First couch to be checked for STD’S! Do you take a smoke

  13. Rain
    August 23, 2014 at 10:34 pm

    I cannot stop laughing at this!! #laughedtilIcried #Icantwiththiscouch!

  14. August 25, 2014 at 6:53 am

    That couch is scary.

  15. Calvin
    August 25, 2014 at 10:15 pm

    It’s R. Pissy’s couch, after a good cleaning. And yes, I can’t stop cackling! I’d call it the Labia Lounge.

  16. Tyler
    August 29, 2014 at 5:40 pm

    I got 99 problems but a couch ain’t one..

  17. yolanda
    August 29, 2014 at 8:22 pm