The Overalls and Jumpsuits Struggle is So Real
Sometimes, we let fashion really inconvenience our lives. I get why, too. Because we see cute things that we wanna rock and we put them on and deal with the fact that our day probably just got a bit more difficult. Overalls are those things.
Overalls are great for the inner carpenter in all of us. They’re back in style too, after over a decade of hibernating for everyone except babies. Let me take this time to pause and talk about just how cute babies look in them. OMGIJUSTWANNASMUSHYOURFACEINTHOSEOVERALLS.
Back to the regularly scheduled… so I have to admit that I was pretty pumped about overalls being the new thing of the season. I even bought a new pair from Express, and they were skinny and cropped. ALL THE TRENDS, BATMAN! ALL IN ONE! I wore them and felt like a walking throwback poster and one of my friends asked me if I was seriously rocking them proudly because if I was, he’d be ashamed of me. Jesus had haters too. (-__-)
Me looking like 1999.
However, that day, I remembered why these don’t stick around for too long. They are so damb inconvenient! Going to the bathroom was a test of patience. Overalls are a logistical nightmare when you have to pee because there’s no easy way to come out of them. And there’s way too many ways for it to be a disaster.
Anyone ever went to the pee while rocking overalls and one of your straps fell into the bowl? F your life (and day) at that point. If both straps make their way into the toilet, just cancel your day and go home. You #minuswell, because there’s nothing left for you. Your choice is to strap them bad boys back up and walk around with a wet, pissy shoulder with a matching wet pissy attitude OR you can just slink your way back home and change, understanding that your day is on “reset.”
I really think adult overalls should come with crotch snaps like babies’ do. It would make life so much easier.
I feel you, Ye. Because crotch snapping overalls for adults is TOTALLY genius.
Even so, I am not ashamed to admit that I still own my Tommy Hilfiger overalls from high school. It pays to remain the same size for 15 years (skinny girl problems are real, though). One of these days, I’m going to break them out and won’t nobody be able to tell me nothing. I’ll just know that I shouldn’t drink too much liquid on that day so my trips to the bathroom can be few and super far between. I’ll be sure to Instagram a picture so y’all can witness me looking overgrown. And like 1999. You’re welcome.
That brings me to jumpsuits. Those things have never been my friend. I’ve been trying to make fetch happen with them for so long but they just aren’t for me and I need to accept it. First of all, I’m built like a 12-year old and I don’t have the BOOM BAM POW curves needed to pull off most jumpsuits. The waist will need to be cinched for life and the chest area will need to respect my membership to the IBTC (I bring the chips to our monthly meetings). Basically, I need to get all jumpsuits tailored or custom made.
If I jump that hurdle, then there’s the wedgies that they tend to cause. Those are the days where girl boxers come in handy. I own 5. I’m ready. But back to the logistics of being outside in jumpsuits. They’re even worse than overalls when you need to pee! Getting out of them is even more of a chore than overalls.
You’re in a public restroom disrobing but also not wanting your outfit to touch the ground. So you do the hover squat as you clutch your long onesie in your hands.
Then comes time to wipe. To get toilet tissue means letting go of your jumpsuit. To not get it means having to twerk something so you can shake off the excess pee. Or your crotch might end up wet and then you will look like a soggy-bottomed mess. You are standing/squatting in a stall in your bra and panties, with your jumpsuit near your feet, realizing that you might have be an honorary member of Team Bad Decisions on that day.
Also, your hamstrings aren’t as strong because you’ve skipped yoga and pilates for way too long so in trying to make your decision, you start to shake because your thigh muscles can’t take it anymore. In that moment, you wonder why you didn’t rock a simpler #alphet. Look at your life and look at your choices.
It’s just a lot of fashion and a lot of work. I’m not saying I won’t do it. I’m just saying that the struggle is real and I gotta think twice and thrice before making the decision. IF you were to find me at a club or at wine night, I will not be in nobody’s jumpsuit. That’s the worst time for it.
You know I love crappy charts. I made one to help you make a decision that is wise. You’re welcome!
This has been a PSA from your friendly neighborhood blogger.
It is time to write that book. Come into The Book Academy and learn how to go from IDEA to INK.
21 Comments
See I have the same problems from a different perspective. I’m too tall for today’s jumpsuits and overalls.
They are made for low-waisted short torso’d ladies. No shade just facts. I have long legs long arms long torso and No Hips (Shakira was ahead of me in the hips line, she was greedy)
I look like and overgrown toddler in jumpsuits or a slack-jawed yokel in overalls. But I love one-stop shopping when it comes to getting dressed. I so wish these things worked for me bathroom issues be damned!
I guess I’ll just stay with my maxi dresses.
5’11” and no hips… I feel you Lenore…Team #skrateandnarrow
Can I get my membership card? I’m average height but God was fresh out when it was my turn in the hips line (I got stuck behind Beyonce & she had even less behavior than Shakira!) so I too am lacking lol
*pays dues and waits in line for membership card*
My 5’11” and no hops struggle is real
**hips
Overalls are back? Why didn’t no one tell me? But I understand the jumpsuit struggle. I dread having to get naked just to pee. Thank God I have a trained bladder that understands my dislike and distrust of public restrooms.
Girl, you too?! You & your bladder MUST have a game plan before public outings in adult onesies!
OK, two things: 1. full body Spanx = everloving hell. Forget about evacuating your bladder even though your compression garment just squoze your bladder into your pancreas.
2. ANYTIME you’re in a public restroom, do the hover squat. You ain’t know what is on that toilet seat that you can’t see.
This has been my contribution to the PSA cause.
After watching my one strap fall in slow motion inside of the bowl that had yet to be flushed in third grade, I came up with a solution: I would unbuckle them, move them under my arms, and rebuckle them. Was it easier to just not wear them? Absolutely. Was it really going to go down like that before the “9-9 and the 2000? Absolutely not.
I have hips and bootay for days. Overalls are not for me either.
Lady, you wear 1999 REALLY WELL. See you at the next IBTC meeting. I’ll bring the fruit tray!
Somebody had to say it. With a crappy flow chart for the visual learners! I love it! Definitely not an outfit to wear to brunch!
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I so loved this post! Forget the jumpsuit struggle; chile, sound like the public bathroom struggle is what’s real in the streets & I’m not bout that life! Skirts…getchu some lol
I am all for the overall resurrection. I just bought my 4 year old a pair and she looks utterly adorbs. They are fitted, with the cutest wash and she wears them cuffed…she is a preschool fashion icon.
Unfortunately…haters gonna hate…because her punk ass teacher sent me a note home saying that perhaps they weren’t a great idea to wear to class anymore (mainly for the potty reasons you mentioned here). I was all “But so?! My baby is the bomb, help her go pee and let her be great dammit!”
But that didn’t go over so well so…she cain’t wear ’em no more 😐
The struggle for fashion greats touches all ages Luvvie, just know you’re in good company.
I just choked on my lunch reading this! But I do understand her struggle.
It’s hard to be a fashion icon when no one else understands……
I just spat my drank out! Bwaaaahhhhaaaaaa… You’re onea does parents “Yeah? You think my kid is disruptive??? Well, how about you stimulate my prince(ss)?!? Did ya ever stop to think about how boring you are? You’re boring me!” “Punk ass teacher”-I hear Bernie Mac in my head though.Lol.
Yay for being a guy (not that I’d wear a jumpsuit, but I remember the overall days); just unzip & go.
My gosh… the amount of try I had to exhibit to not burst out laughing in my cubicle was exhausting. The short girl struggle is real… don’t even get me started on trying to rock a maxi off the rack -side eye-
Favorite phrase: “minuswell”!!! Crying. Had to put down my IPad for a sec! Now what was you talking about? Oh yeah. Overalls & jumpsuits…
OMG I LAUGHED SO HARD AT YOUR LAST PARAGRAPHS