Whose is this?

Whose Brother is This With the Best/Worst Excuse Ever?

Fox6 News did a story on how social media is being used to catch deadbeat dads who owe child support money. The full story is on YouTube but the best part of it was the part where they interviewed one of the men.

They asked this one dude why he doesn’t pay his child support and his answer was:

“Because I was in-uneligible to pay. I was in the hospital. I died in a car accident.” The reporter wanted to make sure she got it straight so he repeated himself talmbout “I died in a car accident.” Then he gon say “no further questions.”

Well *I* just died and got back up because BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! When I tell you I HOLLERED?!? LMAOOOOOOO!!!

I know paying child support might be a struggle for some sperm donors but when they come looking for you, you should probably have a better excuse than you died, especially if you’re delivering this message yourself.

Unless Jesus raised him from the dead after this car accident, what is he talmbout?? Dude looks fine and un-dead to me. He even repeated himself so thinking it was some slip ain’t cutting it. “I died in a car accident.” Yet here you are, living.

And then he gon say “no further questions.”

what face gif

I am #CRINE! Sir… how are you not gonna explain that statement?? How can you even explain it? WUT? Did they catch him off guard or something?

It’s hilarious on at least 5 different levels. The straight face he used when he said it, the repetition (as if the reporter was the one in the wrong) and his staunchness in the fact that he died so he really wasn’t able to do his duty. And I don’t even have time to talk about how he made up a whole new word with “in-uneligible.” I am just impressed by his commitment to not being about that life. He should win the Aint Shit Award because this is some legendary foolishery.

Someone should tell Hood Lazarus that since he’s all resurrected and renewed, maybe his purpose is to come back and pay his child support. Mary’s son must have some plans for him that includes providing for his children.

The next time someone asks you why you didn’t do something, do like homeboy did and say you couldn’t because you died. When they say “huh?” Be like “don’t ask me nothing else. Respect the dead.” And then send them this GIF.

DEAD floor gif

This is the best and worst excuse I’ve ever heard because how can you reply back with something logical when someone slaps you in the face with such nonsense? You just gotta tell them “ok” and try to re-calibrate. Have you ever tried arguing with a 3 year old? Yeah, this is that level of “WTF?”

Whoooo, chile. I’m still cackling and I’ve watched this video no less than 20 times. RIP to common sense.

Edit: Comment from Amber on my FB fan page – ‘I wonder if Mrs. Spreadsheet has ever used this excuse. “I can’t have sex with you tonight. I died in a car accident. No further questions.”‘

She made me chortle. LMAO!

No Further Questions 2

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  1. July 22, 2014 at 12:14 am

    This happened in my hometown and if I tell you WE HAVE CLOWNED HIM! ‘Chile…

    But then the question has to asked: Who procreated with this fool?


  2. Lenore
    July 22, 2014 at 12:14 am


    *wakes back up and sends certified letters to all my bill companies explaining that I am now dead*

    • Cori Hoston
      July 22, 2014 at 7:43 am

      Me tooo…hood Lazarus kilt me…Im calling in dead to work…#dead

    • msjai
      July 22, 2014 at 11:23 am

      yes!!!!!!!!! I wonder if Sallie Mae will accept that I can’t pay because I am dead

      • July 25, 2014 at 5:21 am

        Don’t feel bad. My disbibiliteys make mine in-ininegligible to pay ma Sally support to. I simply cannot *suffocating f-f-face (sorry, st-stutter) palm*

  3. July 22, 2014 at 12:21 am

    I just KNEW he meant he had *almost* died and was glad the reporter gave him the chance to amend his statement. But he didn’t.
    Matter of fact, he gold plated that lie and wore it like a grill in H-Town.
    I couldn’t be a reporter because I would have dropped my mic, slapped him upside the head, and walked off mumbling “You big dummy.”

    • Marisa
      July 22, 2014 at 10:44 am

      This would have been the absolute best response. I sincerely wish you had been the reporter!

    • Marrissa
      July 22, 2014 at 10:30 pm

      He needs to lay off the champipple.

    • ifyouevercomeback
      July 23, 2014 at 2:41 pm

      I wonder how hard the reporter cracked up after that interview.

    • Prettydarkskinnedgirl
      August 4, 2014 at 3:06 pm

      I can promise you I will forevermore be using “gold-plated lie” lol

  4. milaxx
    July 22, 2014 at 12:27 am

    You can say that and the stop. Say you flat lined for a minute and came to st as they were getting ready to pronounce. Say you were in the ICU due to the accident. But don’t, for the love of all good reason say you were dead and then refuse to further explain.

    • milaxx
      July 22, 2014 at 6:00 am

      *can’t* say that and stop.

  5. GG
    July 22, 2014 at 12:29 am

    See I said to my self “self when Luvvie sees this mess”

  6. K
    July 22, 2014 at 12:53 am

    I’m from Milwaukee where he is from. Now, by no means am I taking sides with this hilarious bull shyt, but when discussing this mess with a friend, rumor has it that they cut the part out about him saying he died in a car accident, was pronounced dead, yet came back to life….which still doesn’t make him in-uneligible to pay child support today! O_o I’m actually glad they cut the rest out cause it makes it even funnier…and sadder!

  7. B
    July 22, 2014 at 2:23 am

    See, this is why I don’t need to be reading your blog in the bed. You got me CRACKING UP, waking my baby up.

    • Kem
      July 22, 2014 at 2:48 am

      brahahaha…same here…now my dog is up all excited like she’s getting a treat!

  8. Danielle
    July 22, 2014 at 8:57 am

    This fool here!!!! I can see him in another 15-20 years on a Keith Sweat cruise looking for yet another baby mama. Can he at least use the money he isn’t paying to buy an 8 grade English class? There is no excuse in Heaven, Earth, Hell or perdition for him to be saying “in-uneligible.” He makes me feel like I lost an IQ point. *as I watch the video again with my head cocked to the side like a confused dog

    • Donni
      July 22, 2014 at 11:40 am

      Noooo you did NOT say “on a Keith Sweat cruise”!!! I screamed laughing! Woman, I tell you, I hurt my damn throat laughing at that!!!!

    • Dani
      July 22, 2014 at 2:41 pm

      Why… why must you make me cry laughing at my desk??? LMAOOOOOOOOO

    • LaToya
      July 23, 2014 at 11:35 pm

      HAHAHAHA..I am not gone mess with you today Danielle with this foolery. I hollered reading this…lost an IQ point, I am thru I quit you!!!

  9. RavenJ
    July 22, 2014 at 9:34 am

    Hmmm…I wonder if Sallie Mae will accept this as a reason to dismiss my student loan payments…because you know…I’m in-uneligible due to being in a car wreck…and not making it, but still able to let them know. I can at least try…

  10. MrsBrown0526
    July 22, 2014 at 9:38 am

    His comment is nothing with the gif of Brittney you have beneath it. That pretty much sums up my life right now. For the first time since I was a young hot booty tryna get away with wearing slutty catholic school skirts to a party, I can honestly say Brittney Spears has given me everything I need.

  11. circa1908
    July 22, 2014 at 9:52 am

    yall need to stop talking ill of the dead. Have you no respect RIP Hood Lazarus

  12. Drea823
    July 22, 2014 at 9:53 am

    No further questions.

    I am unable to can!! This fool here…..I don’t even…..nvm, I give up! When is the next launch to space?! I want off this planet. Smh

  13. LadyLarke
    July 22, 2014 at 9:53 am

    “The next time someone asks you why you didn’t do something, do like homeboy did and say you couldn’t because you died. When they say “huh?” Be like “don’t ask me nothing else. Respect the dead.””

    At my desk CRINE real tears over this!!! My co-worker probably thinking something is wrong with me

    • NeNe
      July 22, 2014 at 10:00 am

      I had to pin that quote and gif because i couldn’t lol

  14. NeNe
    July 22, 2014 at 9:56 am

    All I can say is “Fix it Jesus” *smh*

  15. Ebony
    July 22, 2014 at 10:00 am

    I can’t do this with Satan today i just absolutely cannot………hood lazarus…..

  16. Dominique
    July 22, 2014 at 11:02 am

    I just want to know if he made a death certificate on the computer to prove he died.

  17. MonCher
    July 22, 2014 at 11:36 am

    this is why we can’t have nice things..

  18. deprogrammed
    July 22, 2014 at 12:19 pm

    Would someone tell Ludacris to pick up his crackhead cousin?

  19. JaLonda
    July 22, 2014 at 3:29 pm

    Hood Lazarus just laid me out!

  20. Bukky
    July 22, 2014 at 4:12 pm

    “Yet here you are, living.”

    And thas it folks.
    I’m so through witchu Luvvie!! I’m trying to hold my laughter in so hard I’m crying at my desk!!

    Day made.

  21. Maxine Shaw, attorney-at-LOL
    July 22, 2014 at 7:04 pm

    Hood Lazarus is fine, but he still doesn’t beat the magic of this guy. #ibeconcubinin


    • Marra
      July 23, 2014 at 9:42 pm

      How… does one…. because that means he had sex with…. okay.

  22. sunshine74
    July 22, 2014 at 8:46 pm

    He has “Failed Successfully.”

  23. July 22, 2014 at 10:52 pm

    again, why we can’t have nice things. we need to create a list of black people who are allowed to talk to news people on camera. IJS

  24. Katori
    July 23, 2014 at 12:11 am

    About Amber’s comment on Mrs. Spreadsheet tho… Fix it Buddha because J. H. Christ is tied up in resurrections.

    • LaToya
      July 23, 2014 at 11:39 pm

      BWWWAHAHAHA…I CAN”T WITH YOU TODAY!!!! Jesus is tied up with resurrections, buddha fix it….I am calling in tomorrow cause I just flat lined

  25. […] Awesomely Luvvie: I actually squealed when I heard she would be speaking at BlogHer, and I’m not a squealer. I can’t explain Luvvie Ajay’s writing, her evolving glossary of terms like Pay #Amish and #Crine gleaned from inventive misspellings on her other website DumbestTweets.com, or her magical touch with .Gifs. I can only suggest you dive in, maybe starting with Whose Brother Is This with the Best/Worst Excuse Ever? […]

  26. Yola
    August 22, 2014 at 9:41 am

    I am at the Dr. Office cackling like a hyena. Trying to hold back my tears but the ‘Hood Lazarus’ comment sent me over the edge! Yes…This is why we can’t have nice things

  27. palmbeachrider
    September 7, 2014 at 1:05 pm

    he really did die in a car accident but was revived, there is a picture on instagram of him on life support

  28. September 19, 2014 at 2:22 pm

    The actually did die but was revived and was in a coma for several months. However that was like 5 years ago or something like that. I can see him being exempt from paying child support during that timeframe and a few months after. He probably had to go to physical therapy and all that…. But he’s had more than enough time to start paying child support again