The Fruitcake Lady Had Life Advice for Us All

Marie Rudisill was called the Fruitcake Lady and folks used to tune into the Tonight Show with Jay Leno to hear her advice. And lowkey, she’s me in 60 years. I enjoy her and I aspire to be this kinda old lady. The kind who gives no dambs about feelings. I’m already half way there in my couthlessness. It’s a lifelong journey.

This clip below is from September 21, 2004 and it shows why she’s about that life.

The man whose wife only bathes once a week because she doesn’t want her skin to dry out. MA’AM, JESUS INVENTED LOTION FOR THESE VERY REASONS! DO PEOPLE DO THIS ON PURPOSE? I’m talmbout folks who DON’T live on 25 cents a day. Aunty Fruitcake said: “That to me is just a poor excuse to be nasty.” YUP! That’s exactly what it is.

About the man who needs tips on how to learn how to kiss: “If you are that stupid that you can’t find a girl that will allow you to kiss herm then it’s just too bad. I don’t know. Go kiss the ass of a monkey or something.” HAAAA!!!

To the woman whose boyfriend is afraid of rollercoasters: “There’s nothing wrong with him. I wouldn’t get on one myself.” Marie is truly me because add me to the “I hate rollercoasters” club. Don’t blame me. My friends dragged me on 17 rollercoasters in 2 days at Cedar Point amusement park 4 years ago and I’ve been scared straight since. NO KANK YOU!

worry bout yourself gif

Then there’s the dude who wants to invite his 15 year old son to the bachelor party his friends are throwing him. “OMG WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?? Are you completely an idiot?” GO IN, DEN!

And the dumbest question she was asked yet. The lady talmbout her boyfriend and her have been together for 9 years. “Do you think if I got pregnant, he’d ask me to marry him?” Fruitcake Lady went CLEAN off. “Well aren’t you a GAHTdamb fool? You can go ahead and get pregnant and that guy is gonna walk off and leave you.” WELP!

But the cherry on top of the awesome sundae came with the lady who asked her if she thinks she should stop using bad language. Our Gooning Granny said “Hell no!” Damb right!

Goddamn right gif

Chile, I don’t e’em care that Jay and his team prolly fed these people questions. Fruitcake Lady’s answers had me hollering.

Marie followed the drinking gourd up to our Lord in 2006. But we shan’t forget that she was a real G. Telling it like it is. Never forget.

So whatchu think of Marie the Fruitcake Lady? Can you picture her chasing people off her lawn like a pro?

P.S. Shoutout to my girl SanTara (@TheGorgeousBlog) for bringing Marie into my life. She is us. We is she.

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  1. HollaBlackGirl
    March 5, 2014 at 9:26 pm

    OMG I LOVE this lady! She was too damn funny.

  2. Diva
    March 5, 2014 at 9:42 pm

    Lemme just say, I am well on my way to becoming the Fruitcake Diva. I think Marie already came back to earth as that little girl telling folks to worry bout themselves. I love everything about Fruitcakes, old & young.

  3. Smidgen Barnes
    March 5, 2014 at 10:11 pm

    She was Truman Capote’s aunt. Really.

  4. Sunny
    March 6, 2014 at 1:25 am

    This is exactly how my Granny acted before Alzheimers stole her spirit from us. We get a small glimpse once every blue moon.

  5. Mercedes
    March 6, 2014 at 7:20 am

    LOL. She is my new role model. Luvvie, your gifs slay me.

  6. MarvyMds
    March 6, 2014 at 9:32 am

    I love senior citizens because they have no time to sugar coat things, and this little lady right here was a hoot. She was a regular on the Tonight Show, and she would get so irritated with some of those questions that she would start cussing and waving her hands around.

    The best one was when this man told her that his wife wanted to go to a nudist colony. She was like why- is she trying to see a new array of penises? lol!!!

  7. Leo the Yardie Chick
    March 11, 2014 at 3:36 pm

    We’re in 20-bl00dcl@wt-14 and women still think Baby Traps work? *kmt*