Tammy’s Wrong Number: Bless Her Heart
So, I got 2 missed calls from a number I didn’t recognize and I couldn’t pick up anyway because I was on a conference call. I finally get off the phone and see that the person left a voicemail so I hit play.
Here’s what the VM said:
“Hey this Tammy. Gimme a call back when you get this message. Iunno why you ain’t answering your phone. I been tryna call you. You need to tell me what’s going on wit you because you be sending me these nice little letters talmbout how you like my voice…Next minute I know, I’m tryna call you and you ain’t answering the phone. You know I don’t understand all that. You need to just try to give me a call back and if you don’t, I’ll understand.”
Oh. So clearly, Tammy got the wrong number but most importantly, her feelings are mad hurt, bro. And what lets me know they’re really hurt is because she ended with how she’ll understand if she ain’t get a call back. She’s tryna play it cool.
So I decided to call her back to tell her she got the wrong number. I didn’t want her outchea all butthurt bout this person who led her on with words about her nice voice.
But I knew calling her would get her hopes up if only for a moment as she saw my number on her phone. She’s gonna be sorely disappointed when she realizes I’m not bae. I did anyway because I’m a gahtdamb sweetheart. That and I didn’t wanna keep getting calls from her. Tammy seems like the kind who’d call me back and leave me voicemails a coupla times a week about how much I lie. She’s probably the kind who’d pull a “Hey Barbara, this is Shirley. You might not know me but…”
Chile… so I dialed her number.
*Phone rings ONCE and it’s picked up* (Girl, don’t do that. The thirst shows)
Me: “Hi. Someone called my phone from this number and left a voicemail so I’m calling back. I think you have the wrong number.”
Tammy: “I think so too. Ok Bye.”
*hangs up*
*30 seconds later, my phone rings and it’s Tammy*
Tammy: “You just called me right now. Well, I dialed your number by accident because I was tryna dial my guy’s number. His number is 1 different from yours. I thought maybe you were his girlfriend or something. But I’ma delete your number. Sorry, girl.”
Lemme get this right, Tammy. The fact that you called my number thinking homeboy that you’re tryna date/dating/whatevering might have a girlfriend which is why you’re being ignored is a mess.
Tammy outchea leaving these Keith Sweat ass voicemails for a dude she can’t e’em trust. Hustling backwards. My girl Christi said “Tammy needs a new man and some good girlfriends to sit her down and tell her to raise her standards.” PRETTY MURCH!
#IyanlaFixTammyDatingLife.
Bless Tammy’s heart, doe. I hope she finds what she’s looking for and uses that “save contact” feature on her phone. She should then put on her freakum dress and go have a good time. HE DON’T DESERVE YOU, GUHL!
What advice do y’all have for Tammy? Have yall ever had a wrong number situation?
It is time to write that book. Come into The Book Academy and learn how to go from IDEA to INK.
25 Comments
i was DEAD at “the thirst shows” !!!
“Keith Sweat ass voicemails” did me in…lol!
Chocking from laughing off of “Keith Sweat ass voice mails”
i mean choking…lol
Me too!
That .gif says it all!
Hahaha my advice to Tammy, is to read a few books, on dating. She shouldn’t have to call any man, thats clearly not calling her. ‘his girlfriend’, that’s just sad.
Poor girl. Most of the time women should refrain from leaving voicemails on the phones of men they aren’t in relationships with. It usually ends badly.
Also Luvvie, if you have an iphone you could just block her number to prevent future calls 🙂
Tammy, darling, next time-and yes there will be a next time- if the girlfriend “calls” you TALK TO HER!
Dear Tammy,
You is smart. You is kind. You is important.
SO START ACTING LIKE IT!
Contrary to what you may think, not na’an one of them folks on Love & Hip Hop is happy with life. You outchea ackin like Amina BuddaSideWife meanwhile somewhere in the world “your guy” is with his very own version of Miss. Tara-ble decisions. Sis, im gonna need you to stop answering on the first ring to someone who you thought looked right atcha damn number amd put the phone back down…twice…because self-esteem.
Suggested listening to get you through this is some…actually girl, you need some silence. Maybe if you could hear the thoughts that lead to your actions you’d stop being outchea ackin like you layin on the Sun waiting for a drop of water that evaporates before getting anywhere near you.
I’m not trying to be hard on you, it’s just that…well…all this is really sad and sorry and fodder for jokes that I may or may not be forced to tell.
Anyway, I hope you get all this sorted soon. Let’s try to keep it cute going forward mmkay?
-B
P.s. Have you considered adding just one more characteristic to the list of things you look for in a man? Might I suggest that one characteristic be AVAILABLE?!
Girl you KNOW she came up with some type of crazy explanation: he was sitting there writing her another letter about her voice, see, when his cat accidentally shived him in the writing hand…and on the way to the hospital, he had to donate his other hand to this dude in a car crash…so when his phone rang, he had no hands to answer it.
The call back was the nurse dialing the number saved as ‘bae’.
We’ve all been there.
lol Amina ButtaSideWife and Tara-ble decisions…i love it!
Lawd! Lawd! Lawd!! Please block Tammy’s number! She thirsty and starting off all wrong!
Tammy needs some good girlfriends to steer her in the right direction! I nominate you!
Hilarious post as always (po’ lil Tink Tink aka Tammy. Girl just STAHP!). But can we talk about how the .gif of that sista A) gave me ALL the shade I needed for the first half of the year, and B) she’s so prettaaayyyy!!! Jeez, her skin is of the GAWDS!!! That is all 🙂
Dear Tammy,
1) I’m mad we share the same name – out here acting foolish with my name!
b) Girl, WHAT?!
iii)Parched don’t look good on us Tammy girl…let it go.
That is all.
Yours in loving name sake
Tammy’s message sounded like those spam emails about ‘I saw you on Facebook..’ straight away, I was thinking maybe her number was premium rate, costing you an arm and a leg. Do you have those in the US?
Anyways, I have this vision of Tammy sitting by the phone rocking backenfoaf waiting for it to ring. Not a pretty picture.
Dear Tammy,
Wake up and smell the coffee. You said you’d understand if he didn’t call back well start understanding and go live your life.
Be cool, Tammy, if you leave a message and he doesn’t return it, move on. Have some dignity!
Not quite a wrong number story but…I was newly dating a guy who pocket-dialed me and left a voice mail with a whole conversation between him and what turned out to be his ex-girlfriend. I called him a few days later and said “Let’s talk about the woman on my voice mail…” HAHAHA! That was the end of THAT – guy was still too obsessed with the ex to be worth my time. One of my male friends told this cautionary tale of pocket dialing to his friends for YEARS.
I got a voicemail on my work number from a dude looking for his buddy on New Year’s Eve.
“Ray, it’s me…it’s the new year. Let’s squash this…I LOVE YOU!!! Why are we still mad about something that happened 3 yrs ago?! This is dumb..you’re my friend. Call me back..lets grab a burger and start the new year right”.
OMG! I was so touched! I wanted to call back Ray and say “yes yes!!! I forgive you” though I have no idea who he’s calling. It killed me.
I hope he called his homey and realized he dialed a wrong number.
Chile….I had one chick call, I said hello, and she said “Who is this?”. Nothing more I hate than call me & ask me who I am! So I said you called me, who are you?! She kept asking & I said who are you & what do you want. Finally she asked me why my number was in her husband’s pants pocket. Well I wasn’t dating anyone much less a married dude, so I thought maybe a friend met dude in a club & gave my number. I asked his name, she didn’t want to give it. I told her I was trying to help her as I had no clue what she was talking about. Chick gets quiet then asks, “Is this da da da”, (my phone number). I hollered before you call somebody trying to break bad, make sure you dial the right number! Good Lord.
That is my pet peeve too for someone to call me and ask “Who is this?” No mam. State your business and get off my line. If she feels the need to snoop through her husband’s phone, then she has problems.
When people call talking about “who is this” I always respond with “who did you call” GET OUTTA HERE!!!!
*Hoping Tammy comes across this blog*
Hilarious! I was on the floor by “Girl, don’t do that. The thirst shows”
You should text Tammy a link to this post. 🙂