NSYNC’s Shiny Suits and Lycra Shirts: Throwback Thursday
Afrobella dropped a link on my Facebook wall saying that *NSYNC is reuniting for the MTV VMAs this Sunday. I may or may not have started hit a bodyroll so serious that my back hurt afterwards. I was so damb excited!
I. LOVE. ASTERISK NSYNC. Notice I say LOVE, not loved. They’re my favorite boy band of all time. They’re the only people who I ever insisted on standing in line to buy their album on the first day. “Celebrity” was in my hand and playing in my SONY Walkman on July 24, 2001. And I played it out til it scratched.
Love them. And I had a massive crush on Justin Timberlake, even when he had ramen noodles hair. I still love him. I think Justin will always be on my CGI list. I ain’t shamed. HEY BOO!
Antywho, back to this alleged reunion that is happening n 4 days. BuzzFeed did a post on 48 Reasons Why The World Desperately Needs An NSYNC Reunion and it blessed me with 48 pictures of NSYNC in 48 tacky 90s outfits. And my heart soared and rejoiced. And I must share with you 2 of these.
PLEASE get all the way into these shiny suits! But I’m SURE us NSYNC fans were gagging about how cute they all looked then. We didn’t know better. Let’s start on the left and go right.
Joey Fatone in this red pleather suit is giving me strawberry fruit roll-up realness. And them colored shades top it off for an extra OOMPH of cool. Owww!
Look at Justin Timberlake rocking a cool blue jumpsuit. I just wanna ask him what slope route he took to get to the awards. And did he snowboard or just ski? Also, please respect his HOLY BLING! You see that cross pendant. If you don’t see it, it sees you.
And then there’s Chris Kirkpatrick rocking the finest of Spongebob’s home on his head and 2XL clothes on his body (when his real size is SMALL). The fact that Joey FAT-ONE could fit into Tiny Chris’ alphet is a problem here.
Sidenote: Remember how we used to call him Joey FAT ONE? We were mean. By “were” I mean “are still.”
Lance Bass perfected the art of a selfie before we even knew what one was. Because you know damb well that face was made for Instagram. Look at how he’s squinting JUSTTTT right. And that jacket of his is basically made from the same heavy duty trashbag I used when I was moving. The kind that won’t break no matter how many pairs of shoes you put in it? MMHMM.
Meanwhile, J.C. Chasez is pretty much rocking Missy Elliott’s “I Can’t Stand the Rain” ensemble in a midnight blue, complete with air pumped in.
Bless ALL their hearts.
And from even earlier days, they were giving us sexy flexy.
THESE. LYCRA. SHIRTS!!! Can I tell you how much fever this probably gave me? Teenage me was probably getting my entire LIFE, talmbout how buff NSYNC was. Me now is crying laughing because these shirts are MY SIZE, and I wear an extra schmedium on a bloated day. They look so ridiculous and perfectly 90s. Aaron Neville is somewhere MAD that they’re stealing his swagu.
But can we take a moment to focus on the fabulousity that is Lance Bass here? How did we ever think Lance was a straight (yes, a straight)? Look at them eyebrows. They were SNATCHED for the GAWDS, and I wanna ask him who his eyebrow lady is. Am I wrong for thinking he looks just like Ellen Degeneres? He’s so doggone pretty all his life!
Oh 90s fashion. You were worst than we thought. But I LOVE YOU FOREVER, NSYNC!!! I’m hoping this reunion is real because I NEED IT! I’m going to be at the crib going nuts!
So which of these two ALPHETS is worse? It’s like tryna pick the food that grossest if eaten raw: beets or kale?
P.S. NSYNC is greater than Backstreet Boys. If you disagree, you are wrong. Thank you everyone.