8 Reasons Why I’d Be the Worst Fashion or Beauty Blogger Ever
If this blogging game were high school, fashion and beauty bloggers would be the jocks. They’re the cool kids who people flock to, and they’re totally hot. They get a lot of perks and people just can’t help but stare at them because they make anything look good. I don’t know what humor bloggers would be considered but we’re probably the kids standing against lockers cutting class and making fun of everyone. Yes. That fits.
Anywho, although I have a shoe blog, I couldn’t do what fashion and beauty bloggers do. For many reasons. Some are below.
Reasons Why I Cannot Be a Fashion or Beauty Blogger
I’m not a fashionista – I have my own style but I don’t claim to be a fashionista. I do rock clothes that look good on me and I know what silhouettes flatter my little shape (Structured. Pencil. A-line. Nothing too flowy because I’m little and it will swallow me). Too bad they’re all the same outfits over and over again, just different colors. My uniform is jeans, a tank, a tailored blazer and fierce shoes. Now picture that in any combination of colors. That is me by default.
The same outfit. In 3 different colors.
If I was to have a fashion blog, people would throw tomatoes at me for being a walking cartoon (like how Bart Simpson’s closet is nothing but the same tshirt and shorts). But my shoe game IS sick and THAT is what I consistently switch up and share.
I don’t wear makeup often enough – My idea of makeup on a regular day is lipgloss and lotion on my face. TA-DA! If it’s not a special occasion like the Academy Awards, Red Pump’s fashion show or me meeting Idris Elba (one day, LAWD!), I’m barefaced. I’ve even been on TV with nothing but lipgloss on. Chile… I’d be the worst beauty blogger, taking pictures with dark circles under my eyes while rocking lipstick. That brings me to the next reason.
I’m ok with seeing bad pictures of myself – Life becomes less stressful when you get used to seeing yourself looking busted in pictures. Really and truly. There are countless pictures of me looking like struggle out there now, because of all the conferences I go to.
One day, I saw a particularly bad one and shrugged my shoulders and went “oh well.” I looked like someone punched me in the face and caught me by surprise. What do you do? Not a damb thing. Beauty bloggers be looking FIERCE allatahm. That’s a lotta pressure I’m not willing to live up to. I wanna be able to be ugly in peace. I be all:
I’m too inactive for outfits of the day posts – I don’t go out often. Yes, I travel a decent amount but when I’m in Chicago, I’m a hermit. So I don’t really be going nowhere. I couldn’t do outfits of the day posts more than like once a week, unless my outfits are my various pajamas.
Monday, I’d post up my pajamas with the purple hearts. Tuesday, I might need to post up the same PJs because I’m still rocking them. Wednesday, I’d switch it up to the yellow and pink flannel PJs. And then Thursday, you’ll see me in the gray sweatpants. Friday, I might throw on jeans with chucks because I had to run to Walgreens right quick. And then twice a month when I’m out of town and in actual clothes, I’ll forget to take pictures of my outfit and just put up a post describing what I had on talmbout “I was kinda cute. Trust me on it.”
Well, Summertime, I leave the house more often. I’ve even posted a coupla my alphets on my Instagram in the last week. But I’d be the worst fashion blogger ever for like 9 month out of the year. O_O
I’m not a great poser – I feel like to be a fashion blogger, you have to know how to pose. I only have 2 poses: me holding up the peace sign and me with my hands on my hip. Yes, I have the photo-taking skills of a 7-year old. Or a rapper from the early 90s. I be in pictures like:
Bloggers be posing with their legs crossed while standing up, looking away, and just looking downright unimpressed that the camera is there. I tried the leg crossing thing once and almost face-planted. But then I tried it again and I MIGHT have it. As long as I’m holding on to something. Either way, I will stay in my lane.
Update: I now know how to do the standing up while crossing your legs pose. WHOOT!
I tire of selfies quick – There is actually a limit to how many times I want to see myself up close making random faces to a camera in a time period.
I think this automatically takes me out the fashion and beauty blogger running. By the time I take the 3rd picture of my face from a different angle, I’m ready to apologize to my phone or camera for wasting its time.
I suck at painting my own nails – A lot of beauty bloggers do nail polish swatches and I envy them for their skill in painting their nails so well. The pictures look flawless, like their favorite Vietnamese manicurist makes house calls every day to hook them up. Me? I’m pretty terrible at nail painting. Since I’m right-handed, my left hand will look semi-decent, but my right hand will look like a work of abstract art. Nail polish be everywhere but on my actual nail beds. It’s like I never learned to color between the lines in kindergarten.
Nail FAIL.
The few times I can focus enough to even get it done, I smear it within 3 minutes. Without fail. No one wants to see a picture of that. Or a tutorial called “How to have the worst looking nails ever. Every time.” Not nobody. Also, I go months without manicures sometimes. Unless my beauty blog will be called “The Cuticled Chronicles” it will be a complete mess.
Fashion Week is my Kryptonite – I’ve been to fashion week a couple of times with Afrobella. Usually, I just go to do hoodrat things with my friends and to be at the after-events. But every time I go, I walk away with confirmation that it might not be for me.
Like September 2012’s fashion week. We were at the Mercedes Benz Center and I had passes to go to a couple of shows. What I did instead was sit in the garden at the back and take a nap. I’m really not kidding. I put my feet up on the table and found a throw pillow on one of the nice chairs and hollered at a 30 minute extended blink. It was awesome. And I preferred to do that than watch the skinnier than me models rock clothes with no expressions on their faces.
But to be fair, that nap DID hit the spot though.
And a bonus reason: I can’t detect undertones. My eyes aren’t as sharp as y’alls so my knowledge of color isn’t up to par. Beauty bloggers be outchea doing swatches and telling us the difference between two purple lipsticks or yellow nailpolishes, which look the exact same to me. Since MAC’s Riri Woo came out, folks been doing the side-by-side comparisons of the two. I’ve seen so many of these and they look like replicas of each other. MAC is hustling!
So yes, kudos to you fashion and beauty bloggers. Not only are they great for letting me know where I can get the cheap version of celebrity alphets, but they are great for finding the less ‘spensive dupes of high end makeup stuff.
And thanks to them for making the rest of us look bad by showing us that you can indeed look amazing everyday while standing on random sidewalks. Y’all are too fly and fancy for me! On the days when the best I can muster is a matching gray tshirt to the gray sweatpants, I look to your sites for inspiration, that one day, I will get my life together and look decent for more than 2 days at a time in one week.
Shoutout to some of my faves: Afrobella, The Fashion Bomb, The Sassy Peach, Chitown Fashionista, The Curvy Fashionista, GabiFresh, Style Pantry.
So, who are your fave style and beauty bloggers? And do they make you feel like the bum that you are? Let a G know.
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40 Comments
We love you just the way you are Luvvie.
1st. Stefon? girl you crack me up! you wear you’re own style confidently which is better than anything else!
“30 minute extended blink…”
Girl, I quit you LMAO.
love how real you are. You may not be made for fashion blogging but you’re made for blogging. So happy LV introduced me to your blog!!! Keep being huh larious.
This is hilarious! Luvvie, thanks for giving us props. I’m one of those crazy beauty bloggers who did a RiRi Woo vs Ruby Woo comparison lol. This post gave me life. I heart you.
And if you were to ever start a fashion/beauty blog, I’d be a fan! Style is so objective, and there is room for every last one of us 🙂
Luvvie, I feel you! I tried doing a beauty blog but then I realized that beauty products do not interest me enough to keep up with the latest. I rather blog about social issues and the foolishness that celebrity take part in.
I love this post! I tried to dabble in fashion and beauty (I’m still dabbling actually) and it’s hard because I’m just not hardcore into beauty and fashion. Plus the competition is fierce out there! My favorite beauty blogger is Melody from A Complicated Melody. She does realistic make up tutorials on YouTube where you aren’t looking like a contestant on RuPaul’s Drag Race. My favorite fashion blogger is miss donna from Discount Thief. She finds cute stuff for super cheap. This year she has only given herself a $20/month budget for clothes shopping.
I just cracked up at this post! I have a nail polish blog and I’ve expanded to do outfit posts a couple times a month. I’ve mastered taking pictures of my hand, but I feel like a plum fool trying to pose in outfits with random people staring. Check out my nail blog if you get a chance doll!
30 minute extended blink…Imma have to use that. LOL!
You found your niche, have all the seats Luvvie. But I feel you. I admire them but man if I don’t feel like a stepsister of Cinderella.
I just found this blog last week after the blogger was featured on BlackGirlLongHair for her wedding pics/wedding hair (GORGEOUS!).
http://caseofthetinycloset.blogspot.com/
The fact that she does allathis with a “tiny closet” makes me even sadder.
I love this post and your blog. Very entertaining! I don’t know how they do it either because getting photo ready everyday would tire me out. Thanks for Keeping It Real!
“The pictures look flawless, like their favorite Vietnamese manicurist makes house calls every day to hook them up”
^^^^^^^^^That right there is why I love to hatechu!!! Anywho, this right here is my life! My fashion consist of graphic or v-neck tees, jeans, flip flops or a cute heel…my make up, lip gloss and maybe some mascara..other than that, I ain’t even much bothered by it all…
1. Check out Buzzfeeds post on Idris today
2. Fave bloggers besides the ones you mentioned; Garner Style cause I’m a big gal and she rocks it right & Temptalia because she does the best reviews and comparisons of makeup.
This entire post is why I love you.
I have wanted to say all this and more! For soooo long! (How come they all have time to stand around on random sidewalks with Starbucks?) I’m just a reader, I don’t blog at all. And I love reading fashion and beauty blogs, even though I feel everything you described 🙂 Clumps of Mascara and Musings of a Muse are my favorite beauty blogs. I’m subscribing to you now, too!
So, from what I read, you are NORMAL! Or what passes for normal amongst us nerds.
Luvvie, you alright.
This is Hilarious! I am a beauty blogger and you are right their is so much crap that comes with it. I died when I read the bit about getting annoyed with selfies and being okay with bad pics.
Between my blog pics and YouTube channel I’m starting to feel the same way.
Great Post!
This was awesome! Especially this: ” I can’t detect undertones.” So glad to know I’m not the only one!
At the dentist cracking up laughing at the nail pic!! My nails looked like that on Scandal watch night. I’m a hair stylist and my nails were stained w/ black hair color. Didn’t want folks lookin at my hands like I was a auto mechanic – so I threw polish on rushin out the door… Hilarious!
Ok, Luvvie. I just LOVE you! I read your blog with each new submission and I respond little to none. But, I HAD to respond to this one! You are the TRUTH and I just want you to know that we go together! LOL
Luvvie, don’t you dare change a thing…cause I’ma need you ta snatch the hairhats of er’body partaking in the Circus of Coonery of Buffoonery ’13 (read: The BET Awards) late next month. #MyBodyIsReady
yes. to all of it, yes! back in the day when i had a real job and left my house to go to work every day, i was cute – not a fashionista, but i had cute clothes and fierce shoes – but now i’m a (mostly) full-time mom and any work i do is done from home – which means that my momiform consists mostly of whatever is clean and comfortable – add to that the fact that i’m currently pregnant – BO-RING!!!
and my shoe game? well, the closet shoe game is still great because i can’t resist buying cute shoes – but in the winter i wear Uggs every day and in the summer I wear Fit Flops – all with sequins, because my day is not complete without a little sparkle
one day i may have a reason to wear cute clothes again but i’m 110% sure no one will EVER be interested in what i’m wearing on a daily basis – unless i become Oprah rich – then i’ll have a stylist and professional hair and makeup – and all the dambs will be given – but until then … no.
Hi, Luvvie! I’ve never commented on here even though I follow your blog. Just wanted to say that the “look at all the dambs” drawing just made me smile so hard! Now I want to draw myself in a field.
Man look here… I swear when I read your posts I feel like its me talking to ME because I feel the same way! ESPECIALLY about selfies! My IG account is on straight struggle because 1) I just don’t be wanting to see myself all the doggone time and 2) I work from home and be around here hummin and bummin most days. My style is JEANS. PERIOD. So unless we bout to talk about Levi’s all day… yeah! LOL
“I don’t wear makeup often enough”
For me this is precisely the reason you should blog beauty. I’m not interested in seeing someone priming, spackling and painting her face; remodeling herself into completely different entity. Show me the bare minimum to stay supple, dewy and lovely and you’ll have a disciple.
LMAO @ Spackling
Beauty is a happy thought and a smile.
Hell Albert Einstein owned 15 of the same exact outfits. But I feel you honey, I wear a uniform because I work at a sports club. I don’t go anywhere – its sad when your family is MAILING outfits for you to wear.
I’ll admit now that I’m older I do try a little harder, mainly eyeshadow and lipgloss (which is funny since I use so little and its like 1/2 a shade darker then my skin).
You have PJ’s? That match? girl I sleep in a wifebeater and boxers….
Oh and Luvvie, someone should come and not only take away your nail polish but your license to practice and maybe remove your nails to prevent it happening again.
Am a guy 🙂 what do I know?
Hilarious!! Being a beauty blogger I can totally relate and I’m such a poser!
Dude, I think you’re original and badass. You could totally be a beauty blogger.
This totally describes how I feel about my own lack of fashionistadom. I’ve come to accept that all of my photos will not be stunning, my nails will probably never be 100% on point unless a professional does them, I suck at posing, my make up game is lip gloss, and unlike you my shoe game isn’t even all that on point. My shoe collection is basically comprised of a large collection of black taupe and brown flats, one pair of black pumps, and one pair of taupe pumps and a bunch of other miscellaneous shoes in neutral colors. I have issues about my feet being the most visible thing on me so I tend to buy nice shoes that make my feet fade into the background. It’s fun to get super cute every now and then but trying keep that jig up daily just seems exhausting.
That’s a riot! I’m with you Luvvie, I’m not cut out for posing all day and getting my picture taken. It’s too much work to try to look that great all the time, and not to mention keep up with all the “latest and greatest” trends. I usually lag about a year behind the newest style trends so I’d be left out in the cold. Keep up doing what you do best!
Katie
Hahahahahaha!
My sis sent me this link. Lol @ “bloggers be posing with their legs crossed while standing up, looking away, and just looking downright unimpressed that the camera is there. I tried the leg crossing thing once and almost face-planted.”
The posing def takes practice before you stop looking uncomfortable or like you have to poop. Look at almost any style bloggers first post..
Tiffany Ima
Hahaha. This is hilarious! Thank you for cracking me up and you definitely can be a unique fashion blogger with just being yourself. =)
I’m with Alice! Just be yourself and I’ll keep reading! Love it!
Luvvie,
How can you say you’re not a fashionista? I say you are one serious fashionista! Just looking at all of the pictures you post prove it! Well, whatever you want to call yourself, keep up the good work girl!
“If I was to have a fashion blog, people would throw tomatoes at me for being a walking cartoon (like how Bart Simpson’s closet is nothing but the same tshirt and shorts).”
I cracked up at this, because I can relate so much! I buy multiples of things in different colors and just mix and match. I would love to be out here stylin’ like the rest. However…ain’t nobody got tahm fa dat!
This actually reminds me of a post that I’ve been sitting on for a while.
Haha – I run a beauty blog and people always go “oh like a fashion thing? You write about fashion?” And I’m totally unfashionable. Bah!
It’s as if you read my diary and then published it..lmao love this article
Thanks Luvvie I’m so doing this on my blog too, its like we’re here ::
[…] Basically, I couldn’t be a fashion blogger, let alone a “conventional” beauty blogger (Awesomely Luvvie’s made an hilarious post about this y'all. Go check it out). Even though I love the “idea” of […]