There’s a New Pope and the Internet Goes Nuts
Today, white smoke came out the Vatican chimney, telling us that they picked a new Pope. I’m not Catholic but I still wanted to know who they picked, and I can’t even tell you a good reason why. Within minutes, Twitter blessed me with this graphic:
Because Grumpy Cat is a cat for the people. Look at him. Get your life. Amen.
And you know Twitter went off into the land of endless jokes. When I tweeted about the white smoke, my friend Evan slayed me with this tweet:
You know we’re all suffering from Liv Pope withdrawal. COME ON, MARCH 21!!!
And if you want to see other jokes, do a Twitter search for “Pope.” Here’s where you will laugh, cry and be disgusted. Because as always, people don’t have boundaries and will take the jokes so far you’ll want to quit humans for the rest of your life. It’s tradition.
When they announced that the new Pope is Cardinal Jorge Bergoglio of Argentina (now to be known as Pope Francis I), Twitter went nuts. He’s the first Latin American Pope ever and the first to be born outside of Europe since the 8th century. Look at the Church making strides. And of course, someone (@DorseyShaw of BuzzFeed) created a GIF for it.
My only contribution is that the new Pope looks older than the life itself. Do they wanna be doing this conclave every 2 years to pick a new one? I mean… I’m just asking. For a friend. Pope Francis doesn’t look like a young whippa snappa. No shade or anything but he’s 76 years old. Were all the 50 year olds inadequate? These are real questions.
Anywho, I’m sure the Pope jokes will keep going for hours and folks will beat the dead horse and use its tail for weave before they stop. I got my fill already.
Oh and one last thing. I Googled “Pope.”
They suggested “Popeyes.” Because you know chicken is important and that’s surely what I must have meant. Oh Google. Never change.
Have y’all seen madness on your Twitter timeline and Facebook newsfeeds after this announcement? Catholic readers, how are you feeling bout this?
This whole post slayed me! From start to finish life was given! LMAO
Think about the age thing this way…reverse age discrimination. Age discrimination is rampant in the workforce today. At least this is one job that they welcome seniors.
But… his parents were Italian immigrants to Argentina, so #theycheated.
Oh, they didn’t cheat, they were THINKING. White people and Latinos are all happy. But yeah, 76 years old? this is good. If he’s turrrble, we’ll be picking a new pope soon
A lot of European immigrants landed in Argentina, especially after WWII. Hence why Argentina has so many white, blue eyed, blonde folks walking around (as does Brazil). They are probably one of the whitest countries in South America that are predominantly Spanish speakers. Like I Am Your People said, it makes everyone happy in a way. Latinos win, yet White Europeans win as well since Argentinians are so White themselves and most likely come from European parents/grandparents.
I’m Catholic and I definitely have a sense of humor about all of this. The funny jokes are funny – and then there are those that are just TRYING too hard to be funny and topical and just need to take a seat, but… that’s with everything.
I inexplicably was riveted waiting for the white smoke! I am not catholic OR religious so the decision doesn’t affect me. But it was exciting!
I also wondered about the age thing…since he stepped down from a prior role due to age. I would think Head of the Catholic Church would be more demanding than anything else.
That’s all well and good, but when we gonna have some brown smoke? #Inclusion
lol…John, you’re a hot mess!
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The only reason they picked a Latino as Pope is because of the rapid decline within the last decade of Catholic converts in Latin America. In other words there aren’t enough young people going to church and all the older members will eventually die out. As you know most of Latin Americans (especially in Mexico) belong to the Catholic church. They are losing a lot of people to the Evangelicals or a lot of people simply giving up on church altogether. The guy is simply a puppet for the Catholic Church to 1. bring back Latinos to the church and make them proud that a Spanish speaker is the Pope and 2. it is a way of showing that they aren’t all completely stuck up and can be unconventional and “out of the box”.
But yes you are correct Luvvie that this man is older than the earth itself. I speak Spanish and this dude was so old that he barely moved his mouth and I couldn’t understand a thing he said. I actually had to read the subtitles like everyone else.