New Year’s Resolutions I Should Make But Probably Won’t
It’s a new year and new opportunity to get my life right. Although technically, every day should be a chance for self-improvement. But anywho, you know it’s that time again: RESOLUTIONS! However, I don’t make a habit of making them, because I’m fickle and senile. Mostly senile though. I know me.
Making a list of things I’m gonna change once the clock strikes midnight isn’t for me. Odds are, I’ll lose the list or just straight up ignore it. Mind you, I NEED to make some resolutions. The Good Lawd ain’t done with me yet, so I have much about myself I need to improve. But the first of the year isn’t my automatic switch. “New year, new me?” Nahhhh. New year and the same me from yesterday,
What do I need to fix? Well in the new year, I oughta fix:
* My poker face. Or judging face. Or disgust face. EVERYTHING I think registers on my face. My poker face is as subtle as Lady Gaga’s need to be different. I have good news, and my face looks like this: ^___^, which isn’t a far resemblance from a joyful japanime character. When I’m upset, it reads all over my face, even when I say “I’m fine.” And when I don’t like someone and they walk into a room, my face becomes so shadeful and I do this O____o. All without my knowledge.
It’s terrible because here I am thinking I have a regular expression on my face until someone pinches me and says “Fix your face.” Me: “Fix what?” Them: “That look. Erase it.” Me: *touches forehead and notices it’s all wrinkled*. So in this new year, I SHOULD learn how to keep a straight face. Should is the key word.
* My penchant for tardiness. I STAY tardy for the party and it is one of my biggest flaws. I was born two weeks late so I can’t be on time for much, only work-related stuff. I was seldom late when I had my 9-5. But getting everywhere else? Umm… yeah. But then again, it’s engrained deep in my DNA. There are some REAL truths in some stereotypes. The one that says African people (specifically Nigerians) can’t be on time for anything is nothing but TABERNACLE TRUTH! I don’t know ONE punctual Nigerian. We stay LATE. Like 4 hours late to parties. So as you see, there’s nary hope for me.
Well, there IS hope. All you have to do to ensure that I’m on time is to trick me and tell me I need to be somewhere an hour earlier than I actually do. And even then, I might be 10 mins late, but at least I won’t be 1.5 hrs late. My friends did this to me last month. It worked. Smart heffas.
* My addiction to shoes. I am obsessed with shoes. I’m at 130 pairs and counting and I can’t stop myself. Some people drink, some smoke but my vice is shoes. I really have a problem. Mind you, I give away like 10 pairs every 6 months. But they quickly get replaced by others. When I was moving this year, and my aunt was helping me pack my shoes, I kept bringing out more and more and she was like “WOWWW! I knew you had a lot but not this many.”
I just love shoes. Red shoes, Blue shoes, Flat shoes, Tall shoes. I love them all. That’s why I created MustLuvvShoes.com. BUT… BUT… I don’t need to buy any more pairs because I have nowhere to put them. NOWHERE. They’re in my closet, under the bed, in front of my closet… I just need to chill on the shoe shopping. But I probably won’t.
* My vampire sleeping ways. I sleep like I live in Transylvania. I’m the one that’s up in the middle of the night, having a party of 1, while everyone else sleeps peacefully. Then daytime, I’m usually not up til noon. I’ve always been a night owl, but this has been taken into overdrive, especially since I work for myself. Who gon
check me boo make me get up at normal people hours? Certainly not my alarm clock. But yeah, when people ask me “When do you sleep?,” I say 4am to noon, and they look at me funny.
Don’t judge my lifespace.
I should better myself by committing to changing these ways of mine. I REALLY should. Well, I’ll try not to be late to any and everything. I’ll really make an effort because I know it’s terrible. I’ll give folk that TRY at least. The others, though? Umm… yeah… about that… I’ma do better in 2012!
So are y’all making resolutions? What do you know you should change that you probably won’t?