Famous folks

Halle Berry and Gabe Aubry’s Sketch Artist is Hilariously Biased

Halle Berry is taking her baby daddy Gabe Aubry to court for a restraining order and to get full custody of Nahla or something like that. I haven’t kept track of the trial at all and I really don’t think I give any dambs. No shade.

But my girl Jen Wang of Disgrasian sent me the pictures below and I hollered. They’re from the court case going on and she took a picture of the coverage on the news. They’re of Halle and Gabe, but they’re clearly biased.

Halle Berry Court Sketch

Halle looks gorgeous, even in 2D and with random shading. The chick is effortlessly fierce and the sketch brings out her eyes. YES MA’AM! You better BE FAHN. Shoo… as she gives fierce in that courtroom!

And then, I present to you the sketch of Gabe.

Gabe Aubry Court Sketch

HA! Who is this stranger bish? It surely isn’t Gabe’s segzy self. The man who looks like this has been turned into some sort of shifty-eyed truck driver who snacks on chewing tobacco. I mean I know everyone can’t be as fine as Halle in a court sketch but Gabriel Aubry is super cute. Clearly, this sketch artist is on team Halle because he/she was all “Hmph. I know this dude ain’t shit and I will draw him accordingly.” iHoller every time I look at this picture because that doesn’t even look like Nahla’s daddy. The dude in this picture probably still rocks Von Dutch hats. Chile… iCan’t.

“Gabriel looks like a cross between tweaked out Johnny Depp, that dude from Lost, and Fu Manchu if he were a nasty hobo.” – Jen

She ain’t never lied. Too doggone funny!

Am I the only one who finds this hilarious?

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  1. January 31, 2012 at 9:10 am

    Why did I hear the random, “Dun Dun DUUUUUUUUUUUUN!” supervillain music in my head when I saw the sketch of Gabe?

  2. January 31, 2012 at 9:14 am

    Wow, as fine (for a whiteboy) as Gabriel is, how on earth does his sketch look like this?!

    See this is why men feel they be losing when it comes to court battles for their kids. This kind of subtle male haterism.

    The sketch artist took away ALL of his good looks! Even his shiny blonde locks are dirty blonde in this sketch! Hee hee!

  3. Margaret
    January 31, 2012 at 9:24 am

    I agree…I, too detect a bit of shade from the artist. I believe that that is not a drawing of Gabriel Aubry but of Brad Pitt from the Golden Globe awards a few weeks ago.

    The guy in the sketch looks like he smokes unfiltered Marlboros.

    Halle is flawless as usual.

  4. Jaeda Laurez (@Darthjaeda)
    January 31, 2012 at 9:42 am

    He looks sinister…and vaguely Asian lol. Like he smells like sweat, cigarettes from the rez, and unpaid child support.

  5. Ruth
    January 31, 2012 at 10:08 am

    I thought the same thing when I saw them those sketches on the news. Shady.

  6. KayMac81
    January 31, 2012 at 11:36 am

    Why they got ol cutie pie Gabe looking like a rape suspect from Law and Order SVU???? #DUNDUN

  7. CaspercutieSTL
    January 31, 2012 at 11:59 am

    That looks more like a person of interest sketch you see on a Discovery true crime show.

  8. January 31, 2012 at 12:04 pm

    LMAO yeah he got shade cuz Halle ex man is segzy like a mo fo!
    But y she trying to remove rights to his daughter tho?

  9. February 1, 2012 at 2:30 am

    Doesn’t it look like Halle has a black eye? Oh, shade indeed

  10. Marsha S. Haneiph
    February 1, 2012 at 2:50 am

    Oh my geez, Gabe looks like he just got out of the pen. Or some character who makes your skin crawl if you’re in a 711 too late at night or early in the morning. Yikes!

  11. African Mami
    February 2, 2012 at 5:32 am

    I think Halle is one crazy woman-in real life. In pictures she foiiiine as all hell, but this woman-if I was Gabe, I would have taken the next boat to Africa as a result.