The Chicken Crossed the Road and Died. MIND = BLOWN
The old age question of “Why did the chicken cross the road?” means something so new to me now. So I was loitering in Tumblr when I came across:
At first, I was all “I still don’t get it.” But that’s because I’m slow. So Bassey explained to me. and said “a chicken crossing the road would most likely get hit by a car and die. That is the ‘other side.'”
*repeats to myself* Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.
What? WAYMENT! SO IT COMMITTED SUICIDE??? Because why else would it cross the road if it knows it’s gonna get hit by a car???
So all my life, this chicken’s been asking for help. It was pretty much done with life and wanted to get dropkicked through the goalposts. It crossed the road to get to the “other side.” HAY ZEUS! Life has changed as I know it.
Now I’m all verklempt. Talk amongst yourselves. Topic: why, despite this knowledge, is chicken still so delicious?
Bassey said she’ont think the chicken committed suicide. That chickens are just stupid. Iunno man… whatcha’ll think? Did your whole life just turn topsy turvy?
P.S. No I’m not under the influence of any drugs. Unless orajel counts.