Whose Ombre Crochet Shorts Are These? Also: Why?
Sometimes I be minding my own business when I come across reasons to facepalm. Just look at the picture below and shake your head with me. Or maybe some of you wanna getchu a piece. I don’t know your life.
A pair of ombre crochet hot shorts for (what appears to be) a man. I don’t… understand any parts of it. This is not enough fashion and too much at the same time. Ombre. Crochet. Shorts.
Some of you learn a new trade and you want to show it off immejately. The person who did these just upgraded their craft from blanket-making so they came up with the idea of corts (crochet shorts). They didn’t even have the mind to make them bermuda length. These come mid-thigh for an extra ounce of sexy-flexy. I see it.
Plus, we must acknowledge the belt loops. He got the nerve to rock a leather belt with them too. Was rope busyThe leather just doesn’t go allaway with it.
And either they found a willing model or they decided to put it on themselves. I wonder where he wore them to. If it wasn’t a “Tacky Alphets Convention” then it probably wasn’t appropriate. Either way, these shorts should have never happened.
Whose crochet shorts are these? And also: why?
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62 Comments
This little tiny article had me in TEARS! From the title to the very last word.
They even have belt loops #DEAD
RIGHT?!? Whoever made these shorts was trying to show off with the belt loops!! 🙂
LOL. The belt loops were the extra OOMPH.
and had the nerve to belt them…HAHAHA
Because the belt is just what it was missing. O_o
Are you sure he didn’t borrow them from his wife?
It don’t e’em matter where he got em. Someone made these. It might be him, for all we know.
I think his wife had thrown it out and he just grabbed it..lol
Somebody’s grandmama is about to shut Etsy all the way down with these. Carpal tunnel, be damned.
The only shorts that keep you hot & cool at the same damn time. Every order includes a trial size of baby powder to keep you fresh to def!
Come on, corts!
“shorts that keep you hot & cool at the same damn time” I CAIN’T
“come on, corts!”
*gasping for air* #dead
And you know the baby powder is a must. I bet those corts chafe like a mug!
I be tryna quit you so bad! lolol
Carpal tunnel be damned???
#DEAD
Lmbo,stop it I say my side hurt. Thanks for the tears of joy.
This whole comment had me crying. I am kind of hoping they went the extra mile by adding a button and a zipper. I say go big or go home…LOL
The belt loops and the back pocket really took it over the edge for me….like that means this wasn’t just for a costume or an experiment…these were for real life going out somewhere. He’s like “Corts. For when it’s 100 degrees outside and you just need to breathe.”
Yeah the back pockets did do a lot too. They just wanted to show off their talent.
He had to have someplace to put his wallet…
My question is why did he think it was a good idea to make the darkest, brownish part of the ombre on the butt crack?
Yes! My thoughts exactly! After all the OMG WHY? thoughts.
Why did I just scroll back up to look? Now I’m sad.
Realism, maybe?
Self striping yarn can be the very devil. It don’t never want you to getcho life.
Luvvie if those shorts got your attention i wonder what you would say about this pic?
http://www.subwayknitter.com/images/MajorSubwayCrochet.jpg
I don’t care what NAN NONE of y’all say….that’s Andre3000 on the subway. #truth
I cannot deal.
Is that ol’ boy from Yo Gabba Gabba??
DJ Lance!!? ROFL…….
Can I just say I think it was a bad move to make the brown fall directly between his bum crackage? It just conjures up very non-pleasant mental images.
Well now I can’t stop scowling. Thanks for nothing.
I KNOW they have a hot crotch. It’s 90 degrees outside. This isn’t right. Boiled balls can’t be a pleasant scent. Hep.
Hot crotch?? Boiled balls?? I’m DONE!!! I’m taking my toys and I’m going home. LMAO!!!!!!
“Boiled balls.” *faints*
Omg, y’all got me rolling with these comments.
When I saw the picture, my first thought…and belts loops too? Gone with the wind ombre!
LMAOOOO at “gone with the wind” ombre! You stoopid
I am an avid crocheter and this photo continues to generate wondorous delight for me. I posted it on my fb page recently and the orders just poured in!! Signifying that my FBF is obviously insane!! Fashion forward indeed! #laughoftheday
Ombre? You mean the dude wearing them, or the color ochre? Or amber?
In TEARS you’re so damb funny!
I mean “ombre.” It means something that goes from one color to another. It’s a gradient.
Spongebob square ass.
hahahaha
Turn around. Let’s see the fronts. Button up fly? Personally, I’d go for a lace up, codpiece sort of dilly.
I bet they lace up like a bustier with a nice silk ribbon. That would really set these off. Is there a matching crocheted cap? I have so many querstions.
These shorts have me confused like Miss Sophia at the Christmas dinner table. I just don’t know how I feel about this, but it isn’t good.
But… Can you imagine what nut-hugging foolishness is portrayed in the front? I am gleeful that we are only able to view these from the front, luvvie.
I mean from the back 🙂
OMG Why o why, Jesus, did the brown portion of this Ensemb hit’em where the good lord split’em?
I cackled!
That’s a Common fashion throwback….y’all know he was bout that crochet #alphet life!!!
I know this may come out the wrong way, but,I need a front shot!!!
http://media-cache-cd0.pinimg.com/736x/e6/14/3c/e6143ce9ada0c7a305c9b70a905f97b9.jpg
They pull up!!! Smh… the devil is a lie. These need to be called “nusty muts”.
Omg …. Why Lord
MrsABS — OR Does he have them on BACKWARDS!!!???!!
I think we are missing a part here. That buttcrack area is….an odd shade. Did he shart?
Was rope busy? Rope made other plans immediately as soon as those came out of the…drawer? Hope chest? Fresh off the crochet hook? I don’t know about this garment.
The only series of unfortunate events that could have produced…this…is liquor, drugs, and Baduizm.
I bet his nanna is pissed he used all her doilies to make these shorts.
That HAS to feel like wearing a diaper!
Luvvie, I came across your post a couple of days ago (I can’t even remember how or why now -does that matter?). I have to tell you and your nutty readers/followers/commenters have made my day. Nah, my year. Or, to paraphrase y’all, “you’ve gave me life”.
Oh, I must explain myself: I am a white Latino (that is, not a native speaker of English nor living anywhere near an En-speaking country), so perhaps this should not appeal to me; but OMG I can’t begin to tell you the loads of stuff I’ve been learning. And what I read here is not even the variety of English I’ve studied! You’re all doing me a lot of harm… I’m not supposed to be learning this for my own sake, AND I have no-one to share it with.
Simply thanks 🙂
I just wanna know how I missed this post??? Smh, I bet his bawls are sweating some fierce