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We Don’t Owe the Monarchy Our Grief

I was born in a country that used to be a part of the Commonwealth: Nigeria. A country that just got its’ independence from Great Britain in 1960. A country that is younger than my mother. A country that was torn apart because of colonialism’s chokehold on it. A country that still suffers tremendously today because of England’s deep legacy of imperialism. The greed, the global gaslighting, the genocide that the Monarchy has propagated cannot be measured.

Queen Elizabeth II was the heavy head that wore the crown in that gilded cage that did at its best, maintained this dangerous legacy and at its worst, deepened its reach by refusing to give other entities their independence. Even now. But even at its best, enabling is complicity.

Queen Elizabeth II

She ruled for 70 years. “London Bridge has fallen” was the code name for her death, had she died in London. She died in Scotland, so it was Operation Unicorn. Her death makes for complicated emotions for many, yes. But to many more, it can be argued, her death is not to be mourned (or even celebrated) but to be noted that even royalty falls.

The Monarchy is an institution that cannot be separated from genocide, cultural destruction and theft and diasporic pillaging. Diamonds are forever, including stolen ones, but those jewels don’t keep hearts beating.

I don’t subscribe to the idea of “we don’t speak ill of the dead.” We will speak the truth about their harm. And the high road can go to hell, if it ain’t built on truth.

We are not obligated to grieve our oppressors.

Not Obligated to Grieve Oppressors


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18 Comments

  1. Gloria Lewis
    September 9, 2022 at 11:06 am

    Wow! That last line. So many people in my life I can apply that to. “We are not obligated to grieve our oppressors”.

  2. R
    September 9, 2022 at 7:53 pm

    Why didn’t you speak out when she was alive.

    • jerseyguy
      September 10, 2022 at 2:57 am

      Why bother? It is on the occasion of her death that the world can reflect on the meaning of her life. The empire is over thank God. It is neither here nor there. But a reaction to the tears is appropriate.

    • Michael
      September 10, 2022 at 6:18 am

      Where have you been… Anarchy in the u.k. is a rally cry; Sex Pistols have taught you nothing!

    • Nedjhy Dominique
      September 11, 2022 at 7:47 am

      Luvvie has never bitten her tongue and has never always spoken to the experience of herself and not just her people; but all marginalized peoples.
      Take a break from gaslighting long enough to understand, that people who who have been oppressed by the queen have a right to express their emotions and opinions. Stop trying to police how others react to her death.
      The only thing I’m sad about, is the fact that the queen died without ever apologizing for slavery and colonialism; two evils that still haunt billions of people to this day. While people have the right to glorify the monarchy and the queen specifically, others will eternally suffer as this system continues to destabilize numerous other nations in order to sustain itself, the truth hurts (for those in denial) but Britain without stealing the wealth of India, Zimbabwe, Zambia , Malawi, the Caribbean, etc…would be poorer than any third world country today. For 70 years she sat at the helm of an empire that is a symbol of human suffering and did very little to change things. It’s a sad day indeed for the people who suffer without a word of closure or restitution.

  3. September 9, 2022 at 9:25 pm

    “We are not obligated to grieve our oppressors.”

    I feel that way everyday when I hear or read about another shooting, robbery or carjacking in the American cities being destroyed.

    • Nate White
      September 10, 2022 at 6:13 am

      American cities are not “being destroyed.” I live in Chicago, life is good here. The economy, after COVID, is suffering some, but not too badly. New York, Los Angeles, Philadelphia – it’s pretty good everywhere. I get why you would dislike Americans – we affect the world selfishly and disproportionately. But our cities are doing fine. Imagining them decaying is the fantasy, not the reality. Don’t listen to Trump and the Republicans, they don’t live in the cities – they carry guns to the grocery store, they are afraid of their shadows.

  4. Biteme
    September 9, 2022 at 11:18 pm

    You people ruin everything you touch. We don’t need to mourn you

    • Michael
      September 10, 2022 at 6:15 am

      “You people…”
      We can hear the lack of melanin in your comment and your lack of empathy is not our America.
      -We The People

    • You
      September 10, 2022 at 6:17 am

      “You people….?” You are also part of thr problem if that’s how you address people.

  5. September 10, 2022 at 5:01 am

    You are full of such hatred and evil. You all think you are oppressed and deserving but do nothing to make your life better. All you do is blame and keep your heart and mind filled with hatred. Until you change your life will never change. Stop blaming others for how your life , your ancestors life’s was and your life is. If you want it better do something about it. Stop wallowing in self-pity. The Queen is not the sole blame for your problems. You never had the guts to speak up all these years when she was alive instead you wait until she dies to spew your hatred. Where is that getting you? No where. So Hang onto that misdirected anger towards the Queen and your oppressed ideology since that’s the new thing to be said by such now a days, because no matter what whether or not you mourn the Queen, millions around the world will and your life will still be what it is.

    • Michael
      September 10, 2022 at 6:08 am

      You don’t have to like what anyone speaks to be respectful…

  6. John Bates
    September 10, 2022 at 5:14 am

    During times like this, if nothing nice or emphatic can be shared, then keep pointless opinions to yourself.

    • Andreahoulihan50@gmail.com
      September 10, 2022 at 5:31 am

      We are certainly not obligated to grieve anyone we don’t choose to. Who’s asking you to? Equally those who do want to grieve, are free to do so.

  7. Andreahoulihan50@gmail.com
    September 10, 2022 at 5:29 am

    We are certainly not obligated to grieve anyone we don’t choose to. Who’s asking you to? Equally those who do want to grieve, are free to do so.

  8. Tony
    September 10, 2022 at 6:44 am

    You are forgetting how the monarchy acquired all their fortunes,by oppression,since the beginning all so call
    theaf,if you and your family were hungry you couldn’t hunt freely and couldn’t farm the land,with out consequences,because everything belongs to the powerful monarchy,all the tax impose to the poor people for the monarchy so they can gets richer,
    Read your history,before you said anything,at least they got the gut to speak out,but you still and will be a slave of your past,in the name of the monarchy,The monarchy got richer and the common people got nothing,wake up

  9. Steve
    September 14, 2022 at 3:36 pm

    Do you subscribe to this?, “Forgiveness liberates the soul, it removes fear.”, Nelson Mandela.

    Or this, “Reconciliation does not mean forgetting or trying to bury the pain of conflict, but that reconciliation means working together to correct the legacy of past injustice”, Nelson Mandela.

    You don’t have a future if you continue to live in the past. There is not a country, a people, a person that can look back on their time and say they never got it wrong. There have been truly awful acts of violence inflicted on people across the world of all races, gender and beliefs and all in the name of greed and hate.

    Your views are yours and of course you have every right to share them, each of us has our own path and lived experience that shapes our world view. If your feelings on the evils of colonialism and the need for reparation for the actions taken by people in less enlightened times are such, then please, by all means take the next step. Make preparations to leave your adopted country and return to Nigeria, as part of that act please donate all your belongings and property to the native peoples of the land that the imperial colonialist tyrants stole, I’m sure that the gesture would be welcomed and perhaps the first step in the liberation of the native peoples of what we decided to call the Americas.

    Choosing to forgive, if not necessarily to forget, and to live in the now, living with kindness and care, without harm to others, is the only way in which we will find ourselves in a future where we truly feel we have opportunity, we are treated with respect, we are appreciated for who we are and what we bring to our community.

    Continued focus on a divided history is the thief of a united future.

    Peace and love.

  10. September 15, 2022 at 4:37 pm

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