Whose is this?

Whose Aunty is This With the Struggle Feet in White Kitten Heels?

Chile, sometimes we step out the house looking like whodunnit and why. This is why we need friends who can set us straight sometimes. The friends who will say “Where are you going looking like you look? I will not allow it because you will not embarrass me.”

Well, someone’s aunty left the house in some stockings and white kitten heels, looking Usher Board un-chic. Lay your eyes upon them and weep.

Struggle feets aunty

These #StruggleFeets, doe. Is it by force?? Why are her toes licking the floor? Was her size busy? Lawd.

I posted it on the Awesomely Luvvie Facebook page and LuvvNation went at it. And I laughed so hard I cried. Like real tears flowed. Those people are absolutely behavior-deficient. They have zero behavior and this is why we go together.

“If shes not 12 or 80, theres a problem.” – LB

“Deaconess Day at Greater House of Second New Zion AME Church of God in Christ Bapticostals Temple. #BlackStockingsWhiteShoes” – TNJ

“And I KNOW her slip is showing out the bottom of her white suit.” – SL

“Her toes have formed a search party for the rest of the shoes.” – DB

“Let the church pray for poor Mother Henderson’s toes. All 10 attempted suicide during Devotional crine that they could no longer be bound to the Payless specials in this life. Donations are being taken at Dr. Scholl’s and DSW. #JumpingTowardsJesus” – CM

“Now y’all know those are vintage bible study sling back shoes” – RT

“But why are the toes walking in front of the shoes?” – DM

“If she don’t give Sister Pearl her church attire back. Runnin round here reminiscent of the Head Usher…” – DM

“Where her feet going tho? It insist upon its damn self!” – ND

“Them look like trigger heels! LAWD!!!” – DC

“Jesus didn’t wear socks or stockings with His sandals & neither should you! This is NOT what He died for.” – SD

“I know she smells like talcum powder and hot combs…” – JD

“Is it 1968? Why is she wearing pantyhose with sandals? Y’all come get your granny. And bring her some new shoes.” – DWH

“It’s all fun and games til those stockings make her heel slide down to where her toes are.” – AG

“I got two words for these shoes. Ug. Ly. I got two words for these. Pay. Less. I got two words for these shoes. Jesus. Wept. Two words. Say. No. And who’s still wearing pantyhose? Or wearing them with sandals. Get y’all aunties outta here with this foolery on the 11th day of the damn year.” – DR

laugh cry

“I don’t like kitten heels, but I get it…Maybe you and heels are not friends, but you feel you are “too grown” for flats, and you value your ankles-So be it. However, there’s a really short list of times when I feel white shoes are appropriate: 1)On Easter Sunday on children under age five 2) When ushering (with your equally sexy white usher uniform dress and white lace doily on your head) 3) First Communion 4) On nurses and 5) Marriage. THAT’S IT. And as dedicated as I am to a pair of pantyhose (never could get into that whole bare-legs-with-pumps thing), I gag errtime I see someone wear any kind of hosiery with any kind of sandal (I’m looking at YOU, soccer slides). Finally, if-the-shoe-don’t-fit-then-you-must-quit. *steps off soapbox.” – NJ

“Her Toes Are On Edge and about to commit Shoe-i-cide….” – FH

“Those toes are leading the march to #Selma.” – SD

“Somebody done let Unctie out the basement. Smh. He done stole the baby Easter shoes her Grandma bought her from the Junior Easter Elegance section.” – KD

“Throwbacks and toe back! Smh” – TT

“I don’t think those are kitten heels. I think the heel is bent and hanging on for dear life.” – SL

“And I thought my aunties were “doin it” back in the 80’s with with the smurfettes and the black tights.” – CP

“don’t you hate when you spent the night at your cousin’s house and church was the next day? Luvvie the struggle was very real!!” – ND

“Hey she found my 8th grade prom shoes!” – TP

“Dem toes though…. how your toes hittin the ground before your heel does. I ain’t seen nobody where shoes with stockings since 1988 people. When my grandma was on the usher board at church…” – BW

“On Christ the solid rock stand, lawd these kitten heels are on sinking Sand! Amen, benches, walls, and lights! Lol…” – DW

“Why does it look like this person is going to a Debarge concert? Why lawd why????!” – KB


“Mane her toes gone get to her destination before the shoes will smh” – MW

“Those shoes are trying to make it back to 1982.” – BB

“I bet she’s a country line dancing machine!” – VN

“Bawahahahahahaaa….why are her toes trying to leave her feet. ……LMAO” – CJ

“She’s suffering from Mc Piggie syndrome! – MB

“That’s Grimace’s Aunt.” – KB

“Swiper no swiping! Lawdt take mine eyes. Dora ain’t exploring that” – TH

“Her toes hanging on like somebody hanging off a clifffor dear life. Help lawd. Them toes is hanging. I wanna walk by and graze them so they can get back in their rightful place….inside that damn shoe.” – DR

“Why is it that those heels and what looks like red rose petals lead me to think this is some psychadelic strip club? Give it up for Gypsy Juicy Booty!!!!” – MBM

Y’all play TOO DAMB MURCH! I AM GUFFAWING! But whose aunty is this?

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  1. Malcolmisha X
    January 14, 2015 at 11:05 am

    She ret to go on that Keith Sweat boat cruise tho! Go on sista Pauline go get yoursss

    • Milesheightsdiva
      January 14, 2015 at 11:55 am

      @Malcomisha X, thanks loads for suddenly making my long-awaited cruise seem uncool. LOL

      • Malcolmisha X
        January 14, 2015 at 3:12 pm

        LOL girl I have the utmost faith that you will be the hottest on that boat ! Do us all a favor and get a pic with our beloved sister Pauline..for research purposes !

  2. numbah5
    January 14, 2015 at 11:29 am

    “And I KNOW her slip is showing out the bottom of her white suit.” – SL

    “It’s all fun and games til those stockings make her heel slide down to where her toes are.” – AG

    and the Adele cackle gif?? I.DON.DIE!!!

  3. Doni
    January 14, 2015 at 1:49 pm

    Them toes trying to get delivert. Lawd have mercy.

  4. Vonetta
    January 14, 2015 at 6:13 pm

    “C’mon, pumps!!!” LOL

    • Lola
      January 15, 2015 at 3:18 pm

      HAAAAAAAA…get outta my head, Vonetta!

  5. January 14, 2015 at 9:58 pm

    I have never met a pair of white shoes I didn’t hate.

  6. January 14, 2015 at 10:19 pm

    I know better than to be drinking anything when I click a Luvvie link. I know, and yet I never learn. *Wipes down computer screen*

    • a
      January 20, 2015 at 12:21 pm

      EVERYTIME! #alwaysawinner

  7. RJ
    January 15, 2015 at 10:00 pm

    “Deaconess Day at Greater House of Second New Zion AME Church of God in Christ Bapticostals Temple. #BlackStockingsWhiteShoes”

    Noooooooooooo, I wasn’t ready.


  8. January 15, 2015 at 11:28 pm

    3am here, couldn’t get to sleep. I could’ve just fetched that damned boring book I chucked on the desk the other day. Instead, no, of course. I should have known better than to do the zombie walk to the computer and “just have a peep at Luvvie’s”.
    Silly me. Whenever and if I manage to get any sleep now, I’ll have nightmares starring Ten Little Indians running away from them White Bakelite Shoes feat. NotThatHosiery.

  9. […] Whose Aunty Is This With The Stuggle Feet In White Kitten Heels? – (And then I fell […]

  10. goldengirl305
    January 19, 2015 at 11:12 am

    Y”all just don’t understand, those toes are sidewalk grippers. The shoes are only to be worn in conjunction with synthetic wigs.

  11. a
    January 20, 2015 at 12:14 pm

    I cant do this anymore…#icant ima take a luvvie fast fo I end up in da ER.

  12. Karinedukka
    February 4, 2015 at 6:11 pm

    Let her wear whatever the hell she wants! It’s fashion damnit, it’s not like she commited a crime. This is borderline mockery. In 10 years from now you’ll all look ridiculous anyway…with your bathrobes, contouring and ridiculous oversized nonsense.