What Happened to Carrot Top and Why Does He Look Like Walking Photoshop?
Carrot Top’s comedy has always poked fun at what he looked like because he had the bright red hair and was all gangly. I see he got sick of being extra skinny one day so he decided to get into the gym and work himself tired. And I also think he felt like looking permanently confused/surprised so he opted for a couple of surgeries. I hadn’t seen him in a while but then I was sent this photo.
WUT? Why?? Let’s just go from the top of the head down.
First of all, that bed head he’s rocking. Didn’t nobody tell him that Jesus invented anti-frizz products? His hair looks like it’d zap you with static electricity if you touched it. Redheads everywhere should be pissed because Carrot Top is outchea making yall look bad.
We get to the eyebrows and I wonder what permanent marker he used to get those so sharp. He is one bad angle away from chola city. ^__^. Sir, you coulda just gone to the MAC counter at Macy’s and they’d hook you up with a proper beat if you spend $40 on products. It’s totally worth it. For one, they’d make sure you didn’t pick you the jet black brow pencil because it does nothing for your tone. And the contrast with your hair.
The eyeliner game is legit, though. I’ll give him props there. See? I’m not a complete hater.
And if we even put all that aside, WHY THESE SHOULDERS AND ARMS? Dude. It looks like Carrot Top is rocking shoulder made of baseballs. Who did he train with that got him outchea with arms that look photoshopped (this pic is apparently untouched). Also, was symmetry busy? Or is it just the angle of this pic that makes the left arm look so much more brolic? I just got questions.
These arms look like they’re too short to box with God and because they belong to a T-Rex. Damb, dawg. This is why it’s important to train with professionals so you don’t look like a Thundercat.
Chile, bless his heart. I don’t even have the energy to talk about homeboy’s nails. He needs a manicure so bad.
Anywho, I posted this pic on the Awesomely Luvvie fan page and my people went IN like only they could. Below are their comments.
“What in the name of Popeye shoulders…?” – DC
“Looks like ole boy got cunt punted through the Cheerios of life.” – LVA
“Was he just released from the grip of a giant?” – SEW
“WHAT THE?!?!?! I’mma need for him to NOT be outchea lookin like Anorexic Hulk with an Orange Lace Front! #FixItJesus” – NY
“How is he melting and inflating at the same time?!” – FL
“He looks like a genetically modified vegetable. #monosanta” – DKS
“Ok seriously… How long do carrots live before you get tired of looking at them and turn them into a cake???” – JCA
“I wanna know what eyebrow pencil he’s using bc it looks like magic marker…#eyebrowslaid” – NN
“There was a scene in that Saved by the Bell movie where Screech imagined he was buff, and they put his head on a computer generated body. This picture looks like that – but its REAL!!!” – KM
“He must work out with this chick:” – FAR
“Why does he remind me of that simpson episode where Homer had that one super arm? – EHC
“His body hasn’t been the same since he gave birth to Shaun White” – MCK
“Was he going for the reflection in a fun house mirror look? If so, he’s nailed it.” – SB
“Do they make shoulder muscle implants?! WTF!!!” – AJ
“He looks like the next Villain in whichever Marvel movie is next” – SS
“Stop the madness. He looks like Grace Coddington on steroids” – DJM
“I don’t usually talk bad about people (well, on most days) but this dude has always given me nightmares. Like: spiders, Carrot Top, public speaking, death… my biggest fears, in that order.” – BW
“Shoulder titties.” – SLG
“He looks like a sloth with a weave” – SS
“His right arm implant is crooked” – KC
“Whoever working him out on just the left side has to be the person fillin in his eyebrows. One of these don’t look like the other…” – MW
“His beauty is just so unfortunate” – SW
“That dude look like chucky on steroids” – EH
“The worst violation in this photo is the front tuck!! He looks like the unholy offspring of Minnie Driver & The Ultimate Warrior. Adorable” – ZO
“I would not do him with YOUR cookie.” – MA
LMAO! No chill to be had EVER with LuvvNation. But yeah, whappened? Why it happen? Will it happen again? He looks like someone’s bad photoshop, except it’s him in real life. That’s sad. Looking like the Patron Saint of Why We Need the Love Yourself Movement.
Get these blogposts directly in your inbox! Sign up for my weekly LuvvLetter below:
It is time to write that book. Come into The Book Academy and learn how to go from IDEA to INK.
21 Comments
Luvvie, those aren’t his real muscles–he’s got pec & bicep implants.
I mean, he does look like a video game glitch.
#saveitsupermario
Since there isn’t a like button: LIKE X2. Lol.
I don’t know what happened to him, but he been looking like that for at least the last 5 years. Some of these surgeons need their licenses revoked for the way they have folks out here looking.
His right arm looks like Chris Elliott in Scary Movie with the handi-hand!
I am sure that Hopkins is like, “Why we gotta get THIS endorsement from Lion-o? Were Mumm-Ra and Tygra busy? NAWL.”
I just choked on my beverage. That was hilarious.
See, this is what happens when the Cowardly Lion starts feeling himself too much. From cowardly to having folks cowering in two seconds flat -_-
Maybe he is auditioning for a role on the reality show Botched? Perhaps he is suffering from body dysmorphic disorder? This is criminal.
He was interviewed a little while ago in episode 221 of Marc Maron’s WTF podcast. He has a permanent gig in Las Vegas and lives in a secluded mansion with two women.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKXu9qQ6j9c
http://www.wtfpod.com/podcast/episodes/episode_221_-_carrot_top
Just dropping by to say that my (childhood dream) husband Liono does not approve of this usage of his likeness.
That is all.
but why does his arms look broken? they look like they need to be put in casts. Im just gonna stick with my original opinion which was that he looks like spongebob when he bought those inflatable muscles and couldn’t even hold a damn glass. #musclebobbuffpants
If only you hadn’t added #musclebobbuffpants we would have been alright. But dammit CK! You just had to throw my whole day off. Now I’m through internetting today (as soon as I stop laughing).
Thank you Luvvie you have given me life with Carrot Tops tomfoolery, I promise you “The patron saint of Why” lawd I am casket ready. Lion O’s twin brother could do a whole season of BOTCHED and never make a rerun. Again thank you for giving this ole girl life. I lives bol.
Patiently waiting on you to talk abt our girl Renee Zellwegger and her brand new mug…
“Shoulder titties.” #Undone #CantMoveOn
His arms look like bendy-straws…… or pipe cleaners.
This is what bullying leads to….He was tired of being called the scrawny kid
I’m so happy you did this. I sent you the pick on Facebook. When I saw it, I was like:Ugh! WTF is wit dude’s everything? Imma need Awesomely Luvvie to get to the bottom of this.
I have been wondering what happened to him, as I have not seen or heard anything for yrs. I thought he was fine the way he was. I enjoyed his humor, liked him on the talked shows. He shouldn’t have screwed his body up. Yes, both of his arms are the same, screwed up, implants, it looks like.
He looks like a tranny.