Whose Wayward Brother is This on Vine? Oh Yeah: Riff Raff
Sometimes, loitering on Twitter outside of my mentions gets me in trouble. Today was one of those times because I came across the Vine video below and I almost fell out my chair.
I am frightened. What is this and why is this? Who what when? I have questions and I wanna just dip my laptop in holy water because this human snake here…
First of all, this dude legit went and got his teeth filed into bangs. Maybe looking like a serpent about the mouth is what’s hot in these streets. And then he capped them with gold. He really wanted people to take his name (Riff Raff) literally.
And then, he takes off the hat to reveal a head of cornrows dyed pink at the top with beads at the bottom. Because it’s 2000 and he’s a pop singer named Pink. Plus, he’s overgrown as hell and doesn’t have mentors.
To top off his “you’re such a damb bird” status, homeboy is rocking an MTV tattoo on his neck. Anyone who tattoos a corporation’s logo on them doesn’t wanna have nice things. Can’t they be sued for copyright infringement? Or at least for having piss poor judgment.
Chile… AND this fool got his face looking like Charlie Brown’s tshirt with the zig zag beard. I don’t have time for his foolishment. We gon pray for him. He’s talmbout he wants to blow up and act like he don’t know nobody. Who is willingly claiming him as part of their crew? Chile… ok.
I see how y’all do on Vine! The devil be busier than my computer’s RAM when I have Photoshop, Illustrator, 20 tabs in Chrome and all of the Microsoft Office suite open at the same damb time.
Whose wayward brother is this and why is he a mess?
Update: I heard he’s a rapper who was on an MTV reality show. I guess that explains the tattoo. Actually, no it doesn’t. That is still dumb. I cannot and will not even deal with this. NO MA’AM!
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70 Comments
I honestly thought he shaved his facial hair to look like those damn fangs in his mouth…you know, to be consistent with his foolery.
KML…I thought the same thing. I don’t know him but I do low-key hate him.
*sprinkles holy water on the monitor and runs away*
Luvvie, you gotta put warnings on post like these. I may end up sleeping with the lights on tonight after seeing that.
I thought the same thing! This dude is gonna give me nightmaresonight!
*nightmares tonight*
I missed the beads at the end of the cornrows and the neck tattoo, so I’m just gonna take your word for it because I’m too afraid to look again.
and I’m mad that I went back and looked………luvvie you play too much!!!!
Ummm..maybe his idol is Vanilla Ice?
I just can’t deal with this foolishness at all today. Oh and the Pince Side-eye gif is a thing of beauty. lol
Life was given to me through that gif after I lost it watching that vine.
That gif saved me.
Luvvie: this guy was dating Katy Perry a couple of weeks ago. Now she’s dating Diplo and supposedly this RiffRaff character is all brokenhearted. All this is according to some “other blogs”.
How dare you not acknowledge that den braids are turquoise on the ends. Just how damb dare you!
Exactly! That was all I could think about: “are we not gonna talk about how they are blue at the ends???”
I rebuke him…and his “main goal”!
Yes! I was like, how did Luvvie miss that?! From bright pink to well, bright blue…it’s like an ombre effect…with no gradient…just tragic.
Why do you do this to us? You just want somebody to be up with you at night (on Twitter) ’cause after this none of us will be able to sleep.
I need to burn some sage. After I pray. And meditate.
He’s actually a pretty big emerging rapper (or is starting to be–he’s done collabs with Drake, A$ap Rocky and a lot more).
But I just….can’t. His mouth looks like what if a snake Ms. Pacman had a baby and that baby was this dude’s mouth.
Yep he has a song out called how to be the man. I only know this because one of the kids on my husband’s Pop Warner team brought this devilment to my attention. He was one of the Offensive lineman. He jogged with giggly glee over to where I sat next to the water cooler after practice said Mrs. Jay look this is who I was telling the team about Riff Raff. I told him if he ever brought such unholy ratchet nonsense to my attention he’d be an 8 play player for the rest of the season.
“8 play player” – HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This made my whole soul itch!!! I reeeeeaaaallly hope this was NOT done by an actual dentist. I rebuke it in the name of Colgate!!!
^Again
A: The first time I saw this, it scared me,,,,genuinely scared me….and since I have a douchebag brain,,,,this vine will appear in my mind, on repeat, rendering me catatonic.
B: His name is Horst Christian Simco, so his parents dislike him with the same intensity as I.
Ha! @douchebag brain..I’ve found an apropos way to refer to my gray cells when they act a fool. Thank you…
First off, this Prince gif is everything!! As his royalness glides through like a unicorn on ice with all the saltiness etched beautifully on his face! Yaaaaaasss!!!
As for the video, I didn’t watch it because I’m pregnant and my doctor said to stay away from foolishness and terror. You will not have my baby having nightmares. That pic alone made me ill. Where’s my preggy pops…
^ THIS!! LOL
Yes! A unicorn on ice! You are wise to protect your baby from this foolishness.
I watched without sound. GAH!!! Then I watched Prince and his magic side-eye to repair my eyes. Now I’m gonna go look at the President and the First Lady in all their perfect Easter splendidness to restore my faith in humanity
This man obviously is never going down on a woman, ever again. Considering the ignorance needed to do some dumb shyt like this, that’s probably a good thing.
Go look at ridiculousness with Riff Raff on it (google it). He was on there as a guest one show, and I almost hit the floor. if HE can make it, anybody can. He is even more ignorant talking in his fool natural self.
I saw this episode too. As far as entertainment goes, he is funny! Funny because he is just so stupid and ridiculous!
Lawd…I remember this knucklehead from that MTV show “From G’s to Gents” with Fonzworth Bentley. This foolery ain’t nothing new for Riff Raff.
Exhibit A-Z: http://vimeo.com/57010504
Yes! He was a straight fool on that show! Making Beyoncé’s hometown of Houston look bad!
Sadly I knew about him from watching that show too and he still hasn’t gone away ugggh. Thank God he’s white is all I can say.
This is a “Jesus take the wheel” moment….
O_o!?!?! *screams Jesus be a fence!!!, closes out Vine* The foolishness is real…smh…
Nah. Those ain’t his teeth. I refuse to believe that somebody in this world was dumb to decide to make their teeth look like a gangsta shark.
That was creepy as hell. And, I bet he raps about how good he is at “making the secks”. With all that yuck mouth and foolishment? No, sir! And, I need that Prince .gif as my screensaver. It is everything!
That Prince gif was everything. Accurately expressed how I’m feeling about this foolishness.
…um is them car moving? Is he driving?????
“The devil be busier than my computer’s RAM when I have Photoshop, Illustrator, 20 tabs in Chrome and all of the Microsoft Office suite open at the same damb time.” I CRIED!!!!
ON my worst days when I have to confront things I would rather not…this made me laugh…yr writing excellent as always…the for the person in the video heaven help him PLEEEEEASE!
That Prince gif though is errrrythang I ever needed…*weeeeeeak*
Who is this poor, unfortunate child’s parent? Might we find him or her and simply ask “But for why tho?!?!?!?!?”
This poor young man is Grand Court Jester in the Kingdom of Bad Decisions!!!!!!! He makes me want to hold him to my bosom and let him cry it out because I know he’s lived a hard and fast life that he wasn’t ready for…
*le sigh* #idontwannaliveonthisplanetanymore
#iCant even muster the energy or umph to discuss that Vine abomination. I will say, however that I will be incorporating the Prince side-eye .gif into my daily life because YAAAAAASSSSSSS!!!!!!
How is anyone taking Jabber Jaws seriously? All I know is the Prince .gif has brought me new life after being down for the count with the flu. Thank you, Luvvie!
I had to head over to google for a little leg work. I thought there was a vein in the tongue, but wasn’t sure. I’m scared he will bite through it and off himself…
So no one is going to mention his BET tattoo?
He is the king of bad decisions and questionable body art, but he’s not a terrible rapper.
I am a dentist. I wanna know who did this work?
It’s just grill. Lol
but why?
I am so here for Prince’s ocular shade!
What’s real messed up is that those are Porsche Panamera seats. He has a freaking Porshe and I rode the CTA to work this morning. Now if you’ll pardon me, I need to find out how to get to the roof of my building. http://www.luxuo.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/p09_0670_a5-1280.jpg
I just can’t. The picture is scary.
SCARY
about this fool.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxLS-cpgbe0
iCant. This video was SO much worse than I thought it would be. One of the lines is “Sittin on the porch, eating Okra. With Oprah.”
I just can’t even.
LOL!He has nice white teeth only two are fangs and they aren’t even that sharp . That’s just the way he had his grill made.
Go check out his vine,he doesn’t wear the grill all the time it shows his real teeth.
Scary, scary stuff. But how come no one has mentioned his Vine avatar? A baby and a puppy? Did anyone check if they were ok after posing with Mr. RiffRaff? Did they get their shots before he touched them?
(In my Helen Lovejoy voice) “Won’t somebody please think of the children!”
Please, Luvvie. Douse your laptop, or tablet with Holy Water.
The power of Christ is clearly the only thing that will keep this level of ratchet out of your life. It is toxic; that much I am sure of… run now before it is too late.
that is so sad. he wouldn’t be a bad looking person if he wasn’t trying to look like he is beyond the thunderdome. maybe he’s secretly preparing for the apocalypse or maybe he’s a human dog fighter. iono.
It’s not like I don’t know better. I swear I do. WHY do I continue open Luvvie’s posts when I’m not in a cackle-free zone?!? This dude looks like the Green Goblin without the colourful skin-hue. ::SHUDDER::
http://www.yourprops.com/movieprops/default/45523f2d5095a/Spider-Man-Green-Goblin-helmet-1.jpg
I love humanity. Most times I imagine me and the whole world on a cliff looking out at the sea, standing hand in hand singing the coke song.
#Screech. Then some dumbass like this comes along and reminds me that some of us are off key and don’t deserve nice things.
Why would you do that to your mouth? For fame and fortune? Why?
Ganesha spread some wisdom.
Snatching that Prince gif because right now that’s me.
He’s a pretty dope rapper. I listen to his music instead of watching the videos. For reasons.
That’s a grill he’s wearing. He has nice, even, white teeth and he can rap, if you’re into rap. He’s collaborated with some pretty big name rap stars.
I know about him..he WAS signed to SODMAG (Soulja Boy). Don’t judge me for knowing. He’s in the same category as Lil B n nem. Him being signed to SODMAG is enough reason as to why he looks like Ali G
I wonders if he ever bit his tongue by accident. I’m sure it was painful.
but my question is why does riff raff look like the shark from finding nemo with those teeth??? o_0
*fish are friends, not food*
those shits look like a damn bear trap,he’s trying to catch a woodland creature with those.
You guys really no nothing about him so you have no clue what he does and why. Those are fake teeth like the fangs we used to get as kids except his are gold… They come right out. He is a rapper with a talent through the roof, and I can personally garauntee you he has more money that anyone of you combined
[…] AND Katy Petty showed up with Riff Raff on her arm and paying homage to All Denim Everything Brittany Spears and Justin Timberlake. RIFF […]
I don’t know who he’s emulating or what he’s trying to be, but when a guy like this makes “juggalos” look like reasonable people, then there needs to be a point where he re-evaluates his life & says, “Um… oops”