My Advice About Dinosaur Love and the Weirdest Facebook Post Ever
I get some strange messages via email or on Facebook sometimes and most just get a side-eye. But yesterday, someone dropped THE WEIRDEST message I’ve ever got on my Facebook fan page wall. And it’s either I’m being trolled (most likely) or people are truly stranger that I could ever imagine.
But… I just…Yup. I’m just gonna go ahead and say I’m being trolled. Mark is a creative writing student at some university and this was an assignment he was given. This is what I’m choosing to believe.
But I’m gonna humor this post and give Mark advice about his dinosaur love.
First of all, Mark, thanks for the comment about my fine mind. I like to imagine that my mind is the Idris Elba of medula oblongatas. The Boris Kodjoe of brains, if you will.
I’m sorry to hear that you suffer the injustice of lack of dinosaur p0rn on these vast interwebs. There truly is no justice and no peace in that. I can’t imagine your pain of not being able to see two (or more, if you’re into that kind of thing) Tyrannosauruses getting it on and popping. Life must be hard.
Are you able to watch Jurassic Park and just let your imagination carry you to freakier pastures? That might help. Maybe get a couple of episodes of Barney on tape and imagine the kids aren’t there. Iunno if BJ and Baby Bop can be allowed in your fantasy. That just seems over the top. You know, because, they’re just kiddie dinosaurs. Yes. That’ll REALLY be pervy and terrible.
My friend B.Woods was kind enough to find you THIS picture though. You’re welcome.
That’s all the advice I can give you, Mark. I do wonder if you shouldn’t be sleeping in someone’s therapy rehab. I feel like you should just stay laying on a therapist’s couch. Because, you know, this seems… weird. There is no side-eye sharp enough.
Oh and I refuse to google “degree 6 zoosexual,” because I’m not tryna have THAT in my search history. NO MA’AM!
So yeah. What advice would y’all give Mark about this dinosaur loving?
P.S. Again, I do believe I’m being trolled but I’ma let him cook.
Edit: Mark just commented on the post to say he found it on a message board online and