My Advice About Dinosaur Love and the Weirdest Facebook Post Ever
I get some strange messages via email or on Facebook sometimes and most just get a side-eye. But yesterday, someone dropped THE WEIRDEST message I’ve ever got on my Facebook fan page wall. And it’s either I’m being trolled (most likely) or people are truly stranger that I could ever imagine.
But… I just…Yup. I’m just gonna go ahead and say I’m being trolled. Mark is a creative writing student at some university and this was an assignment he was given. This is what I’m choosing to believe.
But I’m gonna humor this post and give Mark advice about his dinosaur love.
First of all, Mark, thanks for the comment about my fine mind. I like to imagine that my mind is the Idris Elba of medula oblongatas. The Boris Kodjoe of brains, if you will.
I’m sorry to hear that you suffer the injustice of lack of dinosaur p0rn on these vast interwebs. There truly is no justice and no peace in that. I can’t imagine your pain of not being able to see two (or more, if you’re into that kind of thing) Tyrannosauruses getting it on and popping. Life must be hard.
Are you able to watch Jurassic Park and just let your imagination carry you to freakier pastures? That might help. Maybe get a couple of episodes of Barney on tape and imagine the kids aren’t there. Iunno if BJ and Baby Bop can be allowed in your fantasy. That just seems over the top. You know, because, they’re just kiddie dinosaurs. Yes. That’ll REALLY be pervy and terrible.
My friend B.Woods was kind enough to find you THIS picture though. You’re welcome.
That’s all the advice I can give you, Mark. I do wonder if you shouldn’t be sleeping in someone’s therapy rehab. I feel like you should just stay laying on a therapist’s couch. Because, you know, this seems… weird. There is no side-eye sharp enough.
Oh and I refuse to google “degree 6 zoosexual,” because I’m not tryna have THAT in my search history. NO MA’AM!
So yeah. What advice would y’all give Mark about this dinosaur loving?
P.S. Again, I do believe I’m being trolled but I’ma let him cook.
Edit: Mark just commented on the post to say he found it on a message board online and
Get these blogposts directly in your inbox! Sign up for my weekly LuvvLetter below:
It is time to write that book. Come into The Book Academy and learn how to go from IDEA to INK.
16 Comments
i google that degree 6 mess. Total troll.
I agree I found the exact same post on another website and it was posted last year.
Hopefully, this will be the first and last time you have to use that Dinosaur Love tag.
I really just laughed myself silly. I thinks that’s all I could do, given the topic at hand.
Homie needs to call BBCA’s My Strange Addiction. Maybe they can put him in contact with the woman who wants to married the Eiffel tower, the man who want to get it on with his car or the guy that has the hots for balloons.
http://www.ranker.com/list/13-people-who-married-inanimate-objects/jude-newsome
http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/my-car-is-my-lover/
http://234pulse.com/2013/03/16/they-turn-me-on-62-year-old-man-who-is-sexually-attracted-to-balloons-he-bangs-balloons-smh/
I went to college with a big and tall chick that looked like a lizard. Let me see if I can find her on Google….
OMG! I died at this, I’m done!
Hmm …. Maybe Chris Bosh can help out brotha Mark … I think he is the last living dinosaur.
I swear before reading this I thought it was going to be a story about Chris Bosh.
You just took the words right out of my mouth!
Back in the late 1990’s, I ran across a website belonging to a woman in one of the Scandinavian countries. She was attracted to guillotines. Yes, those things you chop people’s head off with. She had pages and pages devoted to them, she gave them names, she explained about how some people are romantically attracted to non-sentient objects. She would travel to other countries to visit guillotines in museums, and she owned several. She married one. Had an actual wedding ceremony to “Edward”, or whatever she named it, and posted pictures and everything. She seemed like a very nice woman aside from this one, um, quirk.
Ah, I found a story about here. At the bottom of this article, they mention her.
http://dalje.com/en-lifestyle/video–married-to-berlin-wall-loves-guillotine/157759
“Maybe get a couple of episodes of Barney on tape and imagine the kids aren’t there.” LMAO I’m over you Luvvie.
I went ahead and Googled for ya. He’s definitely a troll. Left the exact same comment on several other pages and forums.
I thought this guy was Otherkin, for a minute…
I’ll just leave this here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Otherkin.
Sigh…and SMDH.
Besides that being totally strange the thing that caught my attention the most was that there are different or varying degrees of beastiality. Degree 6? Really? WTF?