Famous folks

So Nicki Minaj Cussed Out Mariah Carey… Lawdt.

You’ve probably seen the video by now but Nicki Minaj decided that she was about done with whatever Mariah Carey was bringing to the American Idol judges’ table. So, homegirl and her wig decided to cuss Mariah CLEAN out like it ain’t 2 days after the Christian Sabbath. The had to cancel production for the rest of the day because of it. Watch below:

In case you missed what was said, here’s the transcript (according to Mr. L Davis’ site):

Nicki: “And if you’ve got a fucking problem, handle it. I told them I’m not fucking putting up with your fucking highness over there.”
Mariah: “Oh Why, why, why do I have a three year old sitting around me?”
Nicki: “I’m not sitting here for 20 million having her look down here repremanded everyday. No.”
Mariah: “I can’t see my kids because you decided to act like a little crazy bitch and go all around the stage.”
Nicki: “Go see them now, go. You’re boring as fuck.”

In the words of Smokey and Craig Friday…

Damn gif

DAMMMMMBBBBBBB!!!! I mean… WOW! Nicki was UP and SET! Did Mariah steal her favorite neon green hairhat? Why was she so mad? Wowsies!

What we just saw was an adult tantrum to the fullest. Nicki cussed Mariah out so proper but ended up looking stupid while doing it because Mariah was sitting there looking at her like “Girl, I don’t have time for you.” Nicki basically had a shouting monologue and a fight with herself. She looked dumb.

I’m LOVING Mariah’s well-placed “I don’t SEE YOU, bitch!” reaction. She handled Nicki without e’em handling her and that’s what I love. As Onika ranted and raved, Mrs. Cannon was on her side of the table looking nonplussed. If you EVER wanna piss someone off when they’re already mad, just look at them calmly as they cuss you out. THEY. GET. LIVID. Not giving someone a reaction is sometimes the best reaction because they will lose their shit tryna figure out why you’re not moved.

You: *blinks slowly* Are you done? *picks up bag and leaves*
Them: *throws chair*

It’s the FUNNIEST thing EVER. Until you’re the person on the shouting end. THEN THAT SHIT AIN’T FUNNY!!! O_O

Nicki Minaj Mariah Carey

Nicki hollered like a banshee for a good 56 seconds and Mariah looked bored at best. While Keith Urban looked like he wanted to be wrapped in a chiffon blouse on his bed, or anywhere else but there.

I’m not a huge fan of Mariah Carey because she shops like she dresses at Forever19.5 but she is LEGEND. Nicki better #PayAmish to the Queen of multi-octave vocal range! Sitting next to her looking like Hansel and Gretel threw up all the snacks they ate at the witch’s house. KNOW YOUR PLACE, ONIKA! Mariah has been here 10 years before you and she’ll remain here long after your highlighter alphets go dim! Getting too big for her britches.

Chile, I guess these two divas on one table was just too much ego and they were bound to clash. But who’da thunk it woulda been this blow up? Nicki ain’t e’em give a damb that cameras were rolling. Times like this, I miss MTV’s Celebrity Deathmatch. Put them in claymation and let ’em fight it out.

Also related, I still don’t know why they got Onika Maraj judging a singing competition. That’s like having me judge a “People with sense” symposium. You #Minuswell have Naomi Campbell sit on the Board of Directors of Edges-A-Plenty LLC. NOT VALID.

Ennehweighs… ummm does this mean Mariah and Nicki ain’t gon do the 2012 version of “the boy is mine?” Well, that’s disappointing. (-_-)

This cuss out was awesome though. Just for blogging material purposes. They made day 3 of the 30-day writing challenge a breeze. THANKS, NICKI!

Whatcha’ll think of this epic cussout? Who would win in the Mariah vs. Nicki celebrity deathmatch?

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  1. Nimo
    October 3, 2012 at 2:07 am

    I have de-lurked just to say I think you got me fired cause i laughed so hard:
    “Sitting next to her looking like Hansel and Gretel threw up all the snacks they ate at the witch’s house”
    Onika needs to get her existence!
    Where can I come when I get my pink Slip?

    • October 3, 2012 at 3:50 pm

      Your pink slip is with Human Resources. But they’re closed for a 5 day weekend (-_-)

  2. Antonio
    October 3, 2012 at 2:17 am

    i am DEAD.. .this entire piece has me on the floor.

    On another note, as I emerge from the darkness, you’re inspiring me to start my #30writenow challenge. Maybe in 30 days. Yup.

    • October 3, 2012 at 3:51 pm

      *picks you up from the floor* You gon get that white tshirt dirty.

      But yessss! Join us for #30WriteNow! You know you wanna!

  3. Stephanie
    October 3, 2012 at 2:23 am

    Pack your things and leave!!!!!!!!!

    I can’t with you

    • October 3, 2012 at 3:52 pm

      You gon help me move or what? Since you got me outchea packing. You better rent me a UHaul!

  4. Chelly
    October 3, 2012 at 3:05 am

    I need Onika to have every seat in Madison Square Garden, for real. Someone done made her think she has talent and now she thinks she’s something special. No, she’s a gimmick and gimmicks never last. She is already thirty into her forty-five minutes of fame… She has no respect for REAL musicians because she thinks she’s a real musician. No sir, no ma’am. You are a Dr. Seuss “one fish two fish I’m a dumb bish” rapper. None of her lyrics have real substance, which is probably why she’s so threatened in the presence of real talent. I LOVE how Mrs. Wild-N-Out is sitting there so poised and put together like, “Bish, who are you really??” Smfh…

    • October 3, 2012 at 7:22 am

      I hollered!

      You are a Dr. Seuss “one fish two fish I’m a dumb bish” rapper.

      Onika girl have all the seats.

    • October 3, 2012 at 7:59 am

      “You are a Dr. Seuss “one fish two fish I’m a dumb bish” rapper.”
      Please go and join Luvvie in time out.

      • Capricorn
        October 3, 2012 at 10:24 am

        I expired at “one fish, two fish.” Please join Luvvie in the corner.

        And I can’t even with Onika. She has become a joke and doesn’t even realize it. Po’ thang.

    • Jadzia
      October 3, 2012 at 10:26 am

      omg I was already on a full tilt cackle at the post and this just sent me over he edge. I’m no more good.

    • October 3, 2012 at 3:54 pm

      ‘You are a Dr. Seuss “one fish two fish I’m a dumb bish” rapper.’

      Here lies Luvvie… Y’all wear liquid leggings to my funegro! LMAOOOO

    • October 3, 2012 at 3:54 pm

      That broad can have all the seats in the Barclays Center too. Also, thanks for killing me with that “one fish two fish I’m a dumb bish” line. Good job.

      But for real though. That chick is a damn mascot for a bunch of cornballs and now she’s smelling herself cause those dopes at Idol were stupid enough to give her money to sit there and be irrelevant. Girl bye!

  5. crlsweetie912
    October 3, 2012 at 5:28 am

    edges a plenty…….rip crlsweetie 1973-2012

    • October 3, 2012 at 3:54 pm

      *sings “swing low sweet chariot” at your funegro*

  6. October 3, 2012 at 7:39 am

    #1: I’m going to need for Luvvie to turn in her electronics for “You #Minuswell have Naomi Campbell sit at on the Board of Directors of Edges-A-Plenty LLC. NOT VALID” because I cackled and it’s too early for alladat.
    #2: Mimi is a LEGEND! Onika is a Gravatar with butt implants. No talent. No sense. No ma’am. You are not even worth the worse we’re all having to type about your simple ass.
    #3: Poor Keith Urban. He’s looking like “Eff this, I’m ready to go Australia with my wife and my babies. I don’t get paid enough to risk a hit to this pretty face and her weave glue fumes are making me ill.”
    #4: Whenever people go off and start cussing I do EXACTLY what Mariah did. They always end up looking completely insane and I love it.

    • October 3, 2012 at 3:21 pm

      “Onika is a Gravatar with butt implants.”


    • October 3, 2012 at 3:56 pm

      “Gravatar with butt implants”

      iQuit the internet and you, Rissa. GOOD DAY TO YOU!

  7. That Dude
    October 3, 2012 at 8:16 am

    “That’s like having me judge a “People with sense” symposium. You #Minuswell have Naomi Campbell sit at on the Board of Directors of Edges-A-Plenty LLC. NOT VALID.”

    Luvvie…you gotta go. Now. *hollering* ———–>

    • October 3, 2012 at 3:48 pm

      But where am ‘posed ta go??? *pouts*

  8. October 3, 2012 at 8:30 am

    You are losing at life when people watch something you do and go “You know, Mariah Carey really handled that situation so much better than you did.”

    • October 3, 2012 at 3:25 pm


    • October 3, 2012 at 3:48 pm

      RIGHT??? How was Mariah the classy one? Chile…

  9. October 3, 2012 at 8:46 am

    Yes Mariah is a legend, so ms. nicki need to have a big ole seat and stfu.

    • October 3, 2012 at 3:49 pm

      Well, Mariah has a built in seat w/ that fake ass of hers so…

  10. 325
    October 3, 2012 at 9:16 am

    I respect Nicki’s hustle. Idol winners aren’t all that successful or long-lasting anyway so I don’t care who judges the competition really. Idol probably should have thought a little harder about bringing them both on the show if they knew there was gonna be beef. Whatever Mariah did to set her off was unprofessional and so was Nicki’s reaction. Bring back Simon, Randy, and Paula.

    • October 3, 2012 at 3:49 pm

      Bofa dem need to just GO.

    • October 6, 2012 at 1:37 am

      But how do we know Mariah did something. I’m just saying when did the mentally unstable need a reason to go off and we all know Onika ain’t all there

  11. Lalarochelle
    October 3, 2012 at 12:14 pm

    I AM SO DONE WI’CHU!!!! OMG I damn near choked on my lunch at your “looking like Hansel and Gretel threw up all the snacks they ate at the witch’s house”… I just had a visual of Fruity Pebbles all over the damn place.

    Onika prolly mad because she tried to sing a Mariah song for her high school music audition and they told her “NAWL”!!!!

    • October 3, 2012 at 3:57 pm

      LMAO! Nicki… you mad, huh?

  12. October 3, 2012 at 3:24 pm

    but did y’all see how nicki wasn’t even looking at mariah? i think she may have cast one or two glances. this is what happens w/ people who can’t back up their shit talking: they won’t even look at you ‘cuz THEY don’t eeb’n believe what they’re spewing!

    and LMAO at hansel & gretel!!!

    also ROFL at chelly w/ her “ou are a Dr. Seuss “one fish two fish I’m a dumb bish” rapper.”!!!

  13. SanTara
    October 3, 2012 at 3:28 pm

    Da Brat might gone violate her parole and Lisa Raye gone wear beige over this right here. No one comes for MiMi, naw! She threatened her too?!! We’re talking shiny nickels in a Gucci sock, high class hoodrat ways. shooo

    • October 3, 2012 at 4:00 pm

      Girl… Nicki forgets that under that exterior of a classy broad is a real hoodrat in Mariah. She knows people w/ warrants.

  14. October 3, 2012 at 3:32 pm

    “You #Minuswell have Naomi Campbell sit at on the Board of Directors of Edges-A-Plenty LLC. NOT VALID.”


    I just blew a snot bubble on the damn bus. That comment just killed me. *dies again*

    • October 3, 2012 at 3:47 pm

      You love me. (-_-)

  15. October 3, 2012 at 3:43 pm

    “Nicki better #PayAmish to the Queen of multi-octave vocal range! Sitting next to her looking like Hansel and Gretel threw up all the snacks they ate at the witch’s house.”


    Between you and Jillian Michaels I may be laid out somewhere by week’s end.

    Also, Luvvie we go together now. I want to quit you but I can’t so we are gonna have to go together. We will celebrate our union with shoe shopping.

    • October 3, 2012 at 3:47 pm

      I wear a size 7.5 in shoes. I’d like our anniversary gift in advance. O_O

      • October 3, 2012 at 4:09 pm

        Done. Next time you’re in NY we gonna hit Payless & Rainbow and get you right 😉

  16. October 3, 2012 at 3:53 pm

    Thanks for inspiring me to participate in the 30 day challenge, and being hilarious. Props to LaVaughn for knowing a ridiculous person such as yourself.

    • October 3, 2012 at 3:59 pm

      Don’t be giving ol’ waterhead ass LV props!!! LMAOOO just kidding. HEY KINA, the love of his life! 😀

      And you called me “ridiculous.” Why you so sweet???? lolol

  17. nichole
    October 3, 2012 at 4:05 pm

    So sad that is has finally happened to this degree. Reality show madness and ratchedness (Real Housewives, Jersey Shore, Basketball Wives, and the like) has moved into reality competition. Yikes!

    Mariah better watch out. Nicki is the type to throw a show. Poor Keith Urban wanting to make sure his ‘do is not messed up.

  18. nichole
    October 3, 2012 at 4:06 pm

    Someone remind Nicki that AI is not the BET Awards.

  19. dmaclee
    October 3, 2012 at 4:43 pm

    I teach 8th grade English. I read this during my lunch break then one of my students in my afternoon class told another girl that she didn’t have any edges. I thought about Luvvie’s Naomi Campbell line and almost lost my job because I was about to break out into full scale cackle. I want to use this blog with my kids so badly but I like being gainfully employed.

  20. TeeNikki
    October 3, 2012 at 4:49 pm

    District Cout of the #Innawebs




    This post serves as the offical divorce decree between TeeNikki and Luvvie. The reason for the divorce has been cited as a busted gut due to a comment referring to Naomi Campbell.

    Luvvie must pay TeeNikki retribution for the pain and suffering experienced due to the busted gut. Retribution may be made through PayPal

    Judge Judy

  21. Wooooow
    October 3, 2012 at 5:04 pm

    Great post – just want to clear up a common mistake. A lot of people use “nonplussed” in the exact wrong way because it looks like it should mean the opposite of what it means. Nonplussed means “perplexed, confused, confounded, disconcerted.” You used it as if it meant the opposite. Again, totally understandable. I’ve done the same and have been corrected, which is why I know now. Just want to pay it forward. Toodles!

  22. Just Mimi
    October 3, 2012 at 5:40 pm

    Naomi Campbell sit on the Board of Directors of Edges-A-Plenty LLC. NOT VALID.

    Listen, you can’t have Mi acting a fool like that in front of these white folks gul!

  23. October 5, 2012 at 9:21 pm

    um…where is your pinterest button? I must put this link on my “Social Media Favorites” page. Hilarious. “Edges-A-Plenty, LLC”!

    • October 6, 2012 at 6:37 am

      Exactly!! This is the best laugh I have had all week.

  24. jessica
    April 10, 2014 at 7:02 am

    Nicki has gotten to be a dumbass I love mariah Carey she’s the truth damn who go plastic whatever Nicki seems to come at a lot of artist I can’t wait til we finally have an artist to shut her plastic ass up kind of tired looking at her clown look the way she raps at times be like she on some damn medication Lil Kim she ugly to she fuck her self up god bless her rap music done changed with the woman I drop the mic….