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No Country for Hollywood’s Bad Biopic Casting Choices

Three days later and I’m STILL mad! It’s because a new picture of Zoe Saldana as Nina Simone has surfaced and it looks even worse than the one I included in my last post.

Zoe Saldana as Nina Simone Blackface

Zoe’s looking all dead in the eyes, looking like her face is dirty. She looks nothing like who she’s supposed to be playing. And once again, I ask WTF Hollywood??? But this is not the first time they’ve blindly and poorly picked actors to portray icons and legends. And it certainly won’t be the last.

For example, look at this pic of Jennifer Hudson and Terrence Howard. Guess who they’re supposed to be. And I’ll reveal the answer after the pic.

Jennifer Hudson Terrence Howard as Winnie and Nelson Mandela

They’re supposed to be Winnie and Nelson Mandela. Yes. In real life.

WHAT THE HELL???

Who thought this was a good idea? What’s Terrence rocking that struggle part in his hair? I have many questions and no answers.

But one thing is that this project seemed to have quietly went away. I haven’t heard about it in over a year and I’m not even sure if it was ever released. Maybe it’s because everyone gave it a side-eye and wondered what the producers were thinking. No shade to Terrence and J-Hud but I don’t think anyone was looking forward to seeing them play the Mandelas.

Oh Hollywood… why must you make such piss-poor decisions allatahm??? These biopics are becoming more and more insulting to the folks they’re supposed to portray and to the audience who’s supposed to be watch them.

Next thing we know, they’re gonna have Justin Bieber playing Michael Jackson and I’ma lose all my shit. Rosie Perez gon be Diana Ross. Boris Kodjoe will be Rick James. They gon have Paula Patton play Aretha Franklin one day and I’ma pitch a tent on the sidewalks of LA to protest. Taylor Swift is gon play Ella Baker, y’all!!! And Robert DeNiro will be playing Sidney Poitier. Hollywood is doing it’s darndest to not be shit and I’m not here for it AT ALL!

We all know that one day, an Obama biopic will come out. I’ont wanna see Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie playing Barack and Michelle! I BET NOT SEE THEM NEAR IT! Harry Lennix and Taraji P. Henson can be Barack and Michelle.

Harry Lennix as Barack Obama

See? Harry looks a lot like Barry’s cousin. AND he’s from Chicago. Put him on speed dial when you’re ready, Hollywood. Don’t play no bald-headed games with this!

But for realsies. I need to stop wanting to slap whoever makes thee casting choices in the back of the head. Like this.

Snape slap head gif

We’re not expecting the actors who play these icons to be TWINSIES with them. We just don’t want them to require face paint, nose prosthetics, artificial legs and all’at. Hollywood is not short of actors of all shapes and sizes and color and tint and skill. they can look harder, gathdambit.

And it’s obviously Hollywood’s disregard of dark skin actors at play here. It’s not like they aren’t qualified. It’s Hollywood saying they’re not big names. But why aren’t they big names? Because they don’t get jobs at the same rate so they can’t even work as much to become the big names they need to become to get the big movies. BUT WHATEVS.

Anyway, since we’re just picking any ol’ body, I want Serena Williams to play me in my biopic. Since her ass is my spirit animal. (-_-)

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17 Comments

  1. Ms. Bonafide
    October 28, 2012 at 3:07 pm

    Threw some make up on her face & called her dark. Sry Hollywood not in approval. Like Zoe but NOT for this part. Nina’s daughter I’m sure would bring the depth & love needed to make this film. We’re not all the same the Beauty is in our differences so you can’t just paint us a different colors and think that’s gonna fly. NOT!!!!!

  2. Milaxx
    October 28, 2012 at 3:50 pm

    I don’t mean no harm and I love me some Leon, but I laugh every time I see him trying to play petite Little Richard. Now the internet tells me Little Richard is 5’10 which is proll’ really only 5’8″, but Leon is 6’3″! Ain’t nuthin little about him.

  3. Cheekie
    October 28, 2012 at 4:40 pm

    Yessss, I been saying Harry should be THEE only choice for Barry O for years! Not only does he favor him but he TALKS JUST LIKE HIM. He’d have his nuances and gestures down pat, in a way that doesn’t look like mocking.

  4. Seaki Ashe
    October 28, 2012 at 5:06 pm

    Lawd, this psot has me laughing on the damn floor!!!!! YOU ARE TELLING THE TRUTH!!!!

  5. thard2006
    October 28, 2012 at 6:14 pm

    i am literally ROFLMAO at “Justin Bieber playing Michael Jackson and I’ma lose all my shit.” but u r in no way tellin a lie…But I do think Paula Patton would make a great Lena Horn.

  6. Katura
    October 28, 2012 at 9:42 pm

    I think that gaping part is the only thing on point in that photo of Terrance.

  7. Rachel
    October 28, 2012 at 10:06 pm

    TRUE facts. I co-sign with ALL you got to say!

    !!!!!!!!!

  8. kat
    October 29, 2012 at 6:51 am

    I had a fit when I heard they wanted Katherine Zeta Jones for the new Cleopatra Movie.

  9. October 29, 2012 at 11:35 am

    I’m sorry (no, I’m not), but Zoe doesn’t even have the acting chops to play this kind of role. This is worse than Tyler Perry playing an action hero, because the colorism speaks loudly through Hollywood’s decision. I totally could see Viola Davis in this role, or Alfre Woodard, or…almost anyone but Zoe.

  10. paintgurl40
    October 29, 2012 at 1:19 pm

    well i’m not gonna watch it. and they way they have zoe looking is INSULTING to nina simone! i’m really pissed.

  11. October 29, 2012 at 11:47 pm

    Drake will probably end up playing Obama whether we like it or not.

    And the woman Angelina Jolie played in “A Mighty Heart” is Afro-Cuban. Girl, I guess

    • MsOdessa
      October 30, 2012 at 2:11 pm

      I won’t be dealing with this today…*packs up my duffle and walks out of room*

    • JojoRaze
      October 30, 2012 at 10:33 pm

      At least Drake looks like Obama and might have the acting chops for it…maybe. Maybe he could play, “Young Obama in Hawaii/HS.” However, Harry Lennix is the best choice.

  12. Bootsie
    October 30, 2012 at 11:25 am

    J-Hud is going to attempt a South African accent?? Hold me, I’m scared!

    Does anybody agree that she was just ok in Dreamgirls and awful in SaTC 2? Chile, I hope she does Winnie justice somehow some way…

  13. MsOdessa
    October 30, 2012 at 2:17 pm

    But WHY did Zoe choose to make her face look so dead?! I know this is just a pic, but methinks that this will be her way of capturing Nina’s “depth”. There was no death in Nina’s eyes! She had that hot-fire all throughout! Oh lawd! *Pulls out my pen, rolls out a big roll-o’paper towel* who wants to sign the petition?!

  14. ThummyB
    November 29, 2012 at 1:40 pm

    Chiming in VERY late on this one… Not a huge fan of Terrence playing Nelson Mandela, but the struggle part is spot on. Mr. Mandela was all about that life back in the day.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/picturegalleries/2182812/Nelson-Mandela-in-pictures.html

  15. Lord Erica
    December 13, 2014 at 11:45 am

    i ran across this after viewing the Angelina Death Glare… Dsng. You saw it coming. You must hsve known in your magical side eye that Lifetime and Wendy Williams were destined to piss off the universe AND the spirit realm!!!