Famous folksLetter

Dear Cosmopolitan, The Kardashians are Nobody’s First Family

Let me tell you something. The devil be hard at work outchea, y’all. He wants us to get ulcers and high blood pressure because that is the only thing I can think of when Cosmopolitan decided to have their latest cover feature the Kardashians, and the headline being “America’s First Family.” I am here to tell their entire editorial staff to occupy every seat this side of the Equator.

Dear Cosmopolitan,

You cannot be serious. I mean this has to be a satirical issue and you must have hired comics from The Onion to help you write it because you really put the Kardashians on your cover and called them “America’s First Family.” I saw it and my head almost exploded in disbelief. It’s one of those things that you have to stare at for awhile because surely it is in nothing but jest.

Cosmopolitan Kardashians

This is an insult to America and anyone with sense. What are the Kardashians the First Family of? First Family of Plastic Surgery? First Family of Attention Magnets? First Family of Doing the Most with the Absolute Least? First Family of Can’t Have a Damb Seat? First Family of All Fake Everything? First Family of Why Are You Still Famous? First Family of NAWL? They are NOT my damb First Family. NO MA’AM.

How vapid are we? How shallow can we get as a country when you’re calling the people who have been made famous for being desperados for attention our First Family? The only talent amongst them all is the ability to stay relevant in spite of a dearth of talent. That and Kris Jenner’s gift of turning anything bad into an opportunity for capitalizing.

We have a First Family and their names are President Barack Obama, First Lady Michelle Obama, Malia Ann and Natasha (yes, her first name is Natasha. Sasha is a nickname). Their address is 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and Mrs. Robinson is the First Grandmother. These filler-filled, implant-obsessed, reality TV stars are not even my 74,534th family, talkless of First. Slap yourself.

I saw that cover and immediately went BISH WHERE? It hurt my feelings a little bit.

stop the madness

Cosmopolitan, y’all reached so hard that you need joint surgery for the tear. Surely you pulled a muscle. You reached so tough that some mountain climbers are about to scale this issue. Here’s the part that makes me facepalm. When your folks at Cosmo were meeting about this magazine, someone said “Let’s call them America’s First Family,” and someone else who was sitting at that table nodded in agreement. Was there nobody at the table who went “hey you guys. Let’s NOT call the Kardashians America’s First Family. Because: Obamas. Also: NO.” Nobody? Bueller?? Whappened? Did logic call in for work that day?

This is also why your editorial staff cannot be full of white girls. And that one Black person who is afraid of losing her job so she keeps quiet and goes home at the end of the day to sit in the dark and lament. You’ve been known to be for, by and about white girls for a long time. Part of the shade here is that a Black family is in the White House yet these white women are being called the First Family OF THE ENTIRE COUNTRY.

Here’s the extra foolishness: the staff at Cosmo doesn’t even seem that deep to do that on purpose. Like, I’m pretty sure some of them actually think Mean Girls is a manual on what living is like. For them, it’s a documentary on their high school days. This is white privilege at its most… ignorant. It’s so oblivious that it really might not have occurred to them how layered the prejudice of their enthusiasm for the Kardashians might be. They declared Kris, Kim, Khloe, Kourtney, Kendall and Kylie as the most important unit in America. Gag me with a spoon.

gag gif

This might have been a play at publicity on Cosmo’s part. Kudos to you for being cheap lowest common denominator ass attention tarts too. This is cheap at best, offensive at worst. Stupid for sure.

Someone said we should boycott Cosmopolitan. I totally would but I’d need to already be reading your trash to actively boycott. Since I don’t, that’s not effective. I will, however, keep in mind that your reputation as the magazine for 14 year old girls who want to learn to “kiss for really real” is well-earned. You know your audience and you will cater to them. But next time you want to make such a bold declaration on your cover, check in with the rest of America so we won’t be blind-sided by embarrassment.

The world is already laughing at us. We got Donald Trump and his Squirrel of Azkaban hairhat running for President. And now the Kardashians being called “First Family.” WTF, America? WTF, Cosmo?

Oh and for extra side-eyes, y’all put “easiest workout for an epic ass” on the same cover where you got Kim and Khloe and their literal fake asses. Either someone on your staff is a shady genius, or y’all really are clueless to everything. Either way, you should do better.

Yours in extreme side-eye,

Michelle Obama Boehner side-eye gif


P.S. I need someone to do an end of the year roundup called “10 Times White Publications Got Dragged for Doing Dumb Shit in 2015.” You’re welcome for the idea, BuzzFeed!

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  1. […] the Awesomely Luvvie FB page | The post Dear Cosmopolitan, The Kardashians are Nobody’s First Family appeared first on Awesomely Luvvie. Duplicating this content in entirety is expressly […]

    • Nydia Jimenez
      October 5, 2015 at 11:29 am

      Why make such a big deal of it. You don’t like them, you don’t like them. Skip the comment or the page. No, you write a whold article about it. Probably to get more exposure to your page. I happen to like them. They are very pretty. Lots of people are jealous of them. Thier show is funny and interesting and again, if I don’t like it, I don’t have to watch it. It’s like the Caitlyn thing. I don’t like it, don’t like him or her, so I don’t watch him or read about him. It’s that simple.

      • Lynn
        October 5, 2015 at 11:38 am

        Oh Nydia….bless yo heart

        • Von
          October 6, 2015 at 11:20 am

          Yes, bless her heart indeed…lil’ Miss Jimenez will still probably vote for Trump, talmbout “he was just playin’…” SMH

      • October 5, 2015 at 11:42 am

        …ummm because she is a BLOGGER. A pop culture blogger at that and that’s what bloggers do. That’s how she makes her paypah! That’s like asking an accountant why they balanced the budget..
        Accountants gon’ account and bloggers gon’blog…

        • Audra
          October 5, 2015 at 2:24 pm

          Yeeees! #CLAPSINAGREEMENT

      • Keleigh
        October 5, 2015 at 11:47 am

        Why is silence the only acceptable response to something we don’t like? I DON’T like the Cosmopolitan cover and they should know about. That is my right. My voice.

        • Mikala
          October 5, 2015 at 12:08 pm

          Because she has a Ms. Becky on the Plantation mindset that we kneegrows needs ta know our place an jus takes disrespectful stuff from Massa Cosmo wit out sayin’ nuffin! GTFOHWTBS

        • Sase
          October 5, 2015 at 8:33 pm

          Zero chill…..my goodness I loved it

        • Gee
          October 5, 2015 at 12:53 pm

          Hahahahaha. Gasp….hahahahahaha

        • Sarah
          October 5, 2015 at 6:37 pm

          Yes! This, exactly. The only way the world changes is when we SPEAK UP when we don’t like something.

      • Michele
        October 5, 2015 at 12:18 pm

        I would love to have the luxury of ignoring the whole lot of them, but it’s a wee bit hard to do when they are all over TV, print and social media. They’re like Alex Forrest in Fatal Attraction…they will not be ignored.

        Plus it’s Luvvie’s blog so she can write whatever the hack she wants. If you don’t like it, you don’t have click the link. See how that works?

      • Gee
        October 5, 2015 at 12:53 pm

        Do you see the irony in correcting someone about commenting something they don’t like? P.S. I PROMISE ain’t nobody here jealous of the Kardashians.

        • KayMac
          October 5, 2015 at 1:52 pm

          Preach tabernacle!!!! Ain’t NOBODY checkin’ for them!!

        • Lydia
          October 28, 2015 at 10:44 pm

          Right, how ironic, I am glad Luvvie said something. The whole KKK clan can kick rocks. No one is jealous… just tired of them being held up as something to aspire to, something to be proud of. Everything about them is shameful, yet they are paid and applauded for their public filth. Intelligence, class, poise, those are the qualities I value in other women. The K’s are none of those. They will do any thing for a buck and f*ck, not my mind of people, they do NOT represent me

      • milaxx
        October 5, 2015 at 12:53 pm


        • CK
          October 5, 2015 at 7:38 pm

          YES! you’re gonna talk mess and you can’t spell WHOLE correctly? bish puhleeeese! Spell check is your friend homegirl, stop ignoring your friend!

      • Ess Bee
        October 5, 2015 at 1:51 pm

        Nydia, you may go sit next to the Kardashians and the Cosmo staff.

        • Leon
          October 6, 2015 at 2:50 am

          LOL…Nydia CANNOT sit with us….she is not welcome here or anywhere near us. She, the Kardashians and cosmo can have those seats over there, way over there somewhere!

      • Dawn
        October 5, 2015 at 3:13 pm

        Bless your little heart.

        Totally in an Southern Belle kind of way.


      • Auntie Dee Dee
        October 5, 2015 at 3:42 pm

        And Nydia takes the prize for failing to take her own advice.

      • notconvincedgranny
        October 5, 2015 at 4:05 pm

        Poor Nydia, the First Lady of Nonsense. Patron Saint of Simple. I nod in your general direction.

        • October 6, 2015 at 9:21 am


      • jimmy
        October 5, 2015 at 4:27 pm

        Awww Nydia you seem tired. HAVE A DAMN SEAT! Yep right over there in the corner. Thankyouverymuch.

      • KLily
        October 5, 2015 at 4:41 pm

        Hear Hear! Not sure why this blogger is so up in arms. The Kardashian/Jenners may not be EVERYONE’s cup of tea, but Clearly they have an audience, and I believe Cosmo has a large percent of that same audience. KimK took a nasty lemon that would have made stronger women curl up and die, and made one hell of a lemonade in her life. Kudos to her. Do I agree with all their actions, no, but I have to say, their mom definitely gave them a strong resilient backbone to go along with those wide hips. lol.

        • Auntie Dee Dee
          October 5, 2015 at 6:23 pm

          LOL @ “KimK took a nasty lemon that would have made stronger women curl up and die, and made one hell of a lemonade in her life.” I’m convinced she “leaked’ the tape herself. No need to feel the least bit sorry for her. Her actions since then (nude photo shoots for magazines, nude selfies, nude, nude, nude) should tell you what she’s all about. The sex tape was not a lemon for her, it was a career move.

        • DeeWhy
          October 5, 2015 at 8:17 pm

          Did you call Ray J a nasty lemon?

        • Aisha
          October 7, 2015 at 7:53 am

          I brought some chairs for you. ????????????????????????…now have several seats

      • Mia Colucci
        October 5, 2015 at 6:05 pm

        It’s a big deal because they are NOT the first family of America. Period. End of conversation. And just to let you know, Luvvie can write whatever she wants, about whomever she wants, whenever she wants cuz this her damb blog. She does NOT need exposure from anyone, she can get that on her own. Guh so ———————>

      • Gemsmom
        October 5, 2015 at 7:33 pm

        1) It’s “their.”
        2) Your comment about something you don’t agree with is telling someone to refrain from commenting on something with which they don’t agree.
        3) You voluntarily read this piece.
        4) You are so very clearly NOT LuvvNation material.
        5) We collectively side eye you and inform you that you can’t sit with us.
        6) I would tell you to have several seats, but I’ll say go away instead.

      • October 5, 2015 at 9:55 pm


        Please tell me that you’re not that simple in real life and that you’ve posted this to have an ego stroke or two. You’ve missed the point and perhaps it’s your disconnect from adult issues that has caused it.

        It’s not about personal likes or dislikes, watching or not watching. Please dig a bit deeper so you too won’t face the same embarrassment like Cosmo.


      • Mosa
        October 6, 2015 at 7:53 am

        Bless you dear sweet chile, bless you ???? ????

      • Khasha
        October 6, 2015 at 12:27 pm

        Why make a big deal of it? Why do you find this to be acceptable? I don’t care how much you like them, that does not mean you should be proud of them being called the “First Family.” They are famous for being famous. They have no other redeeming value than their fame. You can remark about your opinion on their beauty, but that is subjective – there are plenty of people who don’t find them attractive at all.

        It’s not “jealous” to despise a group of people who appeal to the lowest common denominator. It is not jealousy which makes this cover so appalling. It’s realism and actual pride that makes giving these twits the title “First Family” so egregious. We have intelligent, respectable, and important people who have real impact on the nation and the world in office as the ACTUAL first family, but they’re ignored in favour of these vacuous nitwits who haven’t two brain cells to rub together between them.

        Their fame and pulchritude do not mean that they deserve accolades. They can have their fawning fans who swoon over them sitting around and doing nothing all day. They can have their money. They can have their attention. They CANNOT and DO NOT deserve to be called “First Family.”

        It’s disrespectful and dismissive of the actual first family, it insults the intelligence of normal Americans, and makes our nation look even more foolish before the rest of the world. And if you don’t think the rest of the world is laughing at us for treating people like this as if they’re important, you need to get out more. They absolutely do.

      • ID Antoine
        October 6, 2015 at 2:35 pm

        Just like you had a right to click this link and read a story that was clearly going to be about her issue with the cover, she had a right to blog about it. You had a choice too. See how that works both ways? For the record it’s not so much about disliking the Kardashians as it is about the disrespect of the REAL First Family. It would have been an issue with that title no matter what family was pictured behind those words. It was tasteless and disrespectful on Cosmo’s part. You get it now?

      • Aisha
        October 7, 2015 at 7:50 am

        Why are you here? Who sent you? Go worship the Whoredashians elsewhere.

      • tanyetta
        October 7, 2015 at 12:02 pm

        *whole. ^^^

      • nicki
        October 7, 2015 at 11:08 pm

        Bless your heart!

        1. Not a big deal going on here. Just making observations and stating opinions, just as you have done
        2. So glad you like them but that’s not the point of this post. Point is? They are not a first family of anything to the many readers of this article.
        3. Skip the comment or page. You could have been the example and not provided your comment.
        4. Exposure is good.
        5. You like them. Ok. Wouldn’t your time be better utilized singing their praises on “their” social media pages. Also, let Cosmo know you like it too.
        5. If you know someone who is jealous of them, please suggest they seek help. What is there to be jealous of?
        6. You like their show. Good for you.

        You missed the point of the post. You can defend who you want but really the majority of folks here don’t care. The point? They are not the first family of anything for many of us.

      • nicki
        October 7, 2015 at 11:13 pm

        Nydia, do you have a Google Alert for you to have been the first one to comment on this post?

      • Nicole
        October 8, 2015 at 1:18 pm

        Do you even realize that you’re a hypocrite? You’re telling her she doesn’t have to read or write about them if she doesn’t like them, but here you are reading and writing about something that you don’t like. How stupid is that?

      • math
        October 9, 2015 at 4:18 pm

        Oh Nydia, really? You have to ask? She had to say something because this is so freakin’ outrageous that who in their right mind could be silent about it. Sometimes, when picking our battles, it is best to be silent about things for which we have some level of dislike.

        This is not one of those times.

    • KSH
      October 5, 2015 at 2:12 pm

      I exalt thee. LOL!
      “First Family of Doing the Most with the Absolute Least? “

    • cb1913
      October 5, 2015 at 2:56 pm

      Not the First Family… more like the Thirst Family… doing what/whoever to stay relevant.

      • October 6, 2015 at 9:24 am

        You get a slow clap for that one. “Thirst Family?” YES.

  2. Michele
    October 5, 2015 at 9:41 am

    I was unplugged all yesterday, so I only laid eyes on this fokkery just an hour ago.

    Cosmpolitan has always been trash, so for them I guess it would make sense that they see the Kartrashians as the first family.

    Cosmo probably did that mess on purpose because they knew that Black Twitter wasn’t gonna stand for this, so then they can turn around and say they were the victim of bullying by a twitter mob thus generating publicity for themselves.

    I have nothing else to add because you pretty much nailed it as usual.

    • KayMac
      October 5, 2015 at 1:10 pm

      “Kartrashians”, though….ALL FACTS!!!!

      Random: I often wonder if they would be this “popular” if Robert Kardashian, Sr. was alive…

  3. Elipses
    October 5, 2015 at 9:42 am

    “First Family of Doing the Most with the Absolute Least?”

    Exactly! Hell, I’d put The Jacksons as America’s First Family before even remotely considering the Kardashians/Jenners. This is why I stays away from mos mainstream (read: white) entertainment publications. They STAY trying it!

    • Mikala
      October 5, 2015 at 12:12 pm

      EXACTLY!! That’s why I stay away from them, too. PLUS, I see they got Sleepy, Happy, Dopey, Sneezy, Grumpy and Bashful on the cover. Where is Sort-of-She? Why they don’t have him/her on the cover with the rest of the ‘family’? See?! Cosmo be leaving E’rybody out!

      • Dawn
        October 5, 2015 at 4:06 pm

        OMG! You didn’t just compare them to Snow White’s dwarves did you? Ahahahahahahaha (I’m going to go stand in the corner because I cackled at your comment)

  4. Nicki
    October 5, 2015 at 9:46 am

    Maybe they meant the first family of Calabasas and neglected to add Calabasas because Calabasas is such a long name for a city and Calabasas is easy to mispell? (In testing this theory, the name Calabasas came up every time in word check on my tablet).

    On a unrelated but very related matter: When I saw this picture the song from Sesame Street came to mind, “one of these things is not like the other, one of these things just doesn’t belong.” What a way to highlight the same talk and question that has been going on for years.

    • Stardancer2001
      October 5, 2015 at 1:14 pm

      Heh. Me, too! I’m like “Hmmm, they all look like Kris. Except…”

  5. Marki- you know, with an 'i'
    October 5, 2015 at 9:50 am

    What Happen?
    Why It Happen?
    Can It Happen Again?
    …. Cosmo tried it. I’mma go wit ‘No’. This 1st Family cover can line my bird cage… and I don’t own a dayum bird.

  6. October 5, 2015 at 10:03 am

    All kinds of applause!

  7. TeeGee
    October 5, 2015 at 10:04 am

    More like first family of trash.

    • blackprofessor
      October 5, 2015 at 10:31 am

      I was going to say the first family of trash too!

  8. Jill
    October 5, 2015 at 10:21 am

    Cosmo failed to the umpteenth degree so successfully. Not only is the editorial staff clueless the Kartrashians are too. Mama K should have said, “Y’all can’t call us something else?” Nawh cause them attention suckers really think it’s the truth.

    • October 5, 2015 at 6:27 pm

      This was my thought exactly. I get the media reaches bad, but the lack of class and tact on their part to try and correct it is saddening. I used to rock with Khloe, I’ll admit that, but the fact that this family lets the foolery continue in the first place was enough for me to turn my tv off of them.

      They have some nerve. I don’t care who thinks we “shouldn’t” comment because we disagree. Cosmo has some nerve and that family has some nerve thinking it was okay to be called America’s First Family. Whether you agree with the Obama administration or not he worked HARD to get where he is. Don’t discredit that!

      Sorry…I’ve been mad about this all day and I’m so glad Luvvie blogged about it.

  9. diane clayton
    October 5, 2015 at 10:23 am

    you are right on!!!!!

  10. October 5, 2015 at 10:26 am

    Fine. Yes. Agree 100%.

    But I’m still buying it because I totally need to know how to get an EPIC ASS.

  11. Tiffany
    October 5, 2015 at 10:38 am

    The day Cosmo told me to spice up my sex life by sticking a warm doughnut on bae’s Chick-O-Stick, I knew they were never to be trusted. This cover is no different. Besides the obvious, how are they the “First Family” and the whole family isn’t on the cover? I swear this family treats Rob like Judy Winslow and I’m sick of them. This has Kanye’s apocalyptic footprints all over it.

    • Nicole
      October 5, 2015 at 10:46 am

      Ma’am. MA’AM! You did not say they treat that boy Judy Winslow! #DOA

      • Nicole
        October 5, 2015 at 10:47 am

        *like Judy Winslow. I’m laughing so hard I can’t even type correctly!

    • Sweet Cheeks
      October 5, 2015 at 11:11 am

      You know, I am so bent about all of this shit. However, your comment really made me howl at work. Thank you.

    • Michele
      October 5, 2015 at 11:21 am

      You’re not even lying about Rob. He had the misfortune of being born with a penis instead of a va-jay-jay which means Mama Kris can’t pimp him out, thus rendering him totally useless.

      • Lorna
        October 5, 2015 at 12:19 pm

        Forgive me for stating the obvious but… uhmmm, ALL members of that family are ‘famous’ and being pimped out for having multiple penises. Either they fellated them on video or are trying to tuck them under while pretending to be a woman now.

        Oops. Never mind. You’re right. Rob is the only one who does neither of those things…Yet. #PoorRob <— new hashtag for Black Twitter. lol!

    • Sandy
      October 5, 2015 at 12:07 pm

      Judy Winslow. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Trying to get me fired outchea.

    • thatduderj
      October 6, 2015 at 10:39 am


      that just made my morning.

  12. jimmy
    October 5, 2015 at 10:45 am

    The first family of why we can’t get right. I am so sick of these vapid fame whores. While I have to very lightly applaud their hustle for making millions doing nothing I actually hate them all. Everytime I hear a grown ass woman speak in the baby talk whisper that they do, it makes me want to slap somebody. Just stop. They are all selfish, fake, and so image conscience that there is nothing to them. And just as the world was tiring of the Kuntrashians, that damn Kanye had to involve us all in his experiment of making his plastic toy a real girl. You suck too Kanye. For this, Cosmo, I wish I could rub actual dog shit in the face of your editors, because you have figuratively done that to the American people with this trash. Go straight to hell.

    • Kris
      October 5, 2015 at 11:02 pm

      *Standing ovation*

  13. Ken
    October 5, 2015 at 11:01 am

    Luvvie, first of all, I love you like my favorite cousin who I talk to on the phone but don’t get to see cause we’re on different coasts!

    Thank you for this! It’s too early in the morning for this tomfoolery, Cosmo.

    Here’s my thoughts, besides the Obama insult/slight.

    And for me this is not about displacing the OBAMAS so much as ARE YOU FREAKIN’ KIDDING ME. If you put all of their college courses together, you would still be a freshman at a bad junior college. And I’m not into slut-shaming but come on! This family got on the map due to the oldest (setting an example, no doubt) of making poor decisions to let herself be filmed when she was doing what most of us have enough sense to do without a recording. And even since then, exactly what have they accomplished besides showing women can make it if they capitalize on the superficial and their outward appearance and absolutely and consistently never do anything like read a book. Let’s not forget that Kendall is practically illiterate (she admitted she struggles to read). And Cosmo, where’s Rob? Not photogenic enough to be part of the first family? Come on…stop playin’. First? First? At showing us the logical end to a culture where we keep championing the triumph of surface over substance. What do we get? Kids who aren’t competitive globablly in terms of education and the damn Kardashians…as they say in Atlanta, “Hell, naw.”

  14. Ken
    October 5, 2015 at 11:04 am

    And this is the real issue which you NAILED.

    “This is also why your editorial staff cannot be full of white girls. And that one Black person who is afraid of losing her job so she keeps quiet and goes home at the end of the day to sit in the dark and lament.”

    • malingose
      October 6, 2015 at 9:32 am

      Totally nailed it. I am not American but I felt bad for my American people, man. This cover? Utter rubbish. And wrong on so many levels — how does one begin to compare any Obama to a Kardashian? Eish.

  15. Ken
    October 5, 2015 at 11:10 am

    And you know that sister who was there mumbled under her breath, “…of ratchedness!” Okay, okay, I’m done..lol.

  16. October 5, 2015 at 11:43 am

    Whew LAWDT, Luvvie, RIP’EM A NEW ONE, LADY!

    Cosmopolitan’s an “EPIC ASS.”

  17. MzCafe
    October 5, 2015 at 11:45 am

    howling laughing at —> Oh and for extra side-eyes, y’all put “easiest workout for an epic ass” on the same cover where you got Kim and Khloe and their literal fake asses.

    Reading this at work and can’t let out a loud chuckle or I would be getting the side eye from my co-workers and thus have to explain my un-explainable outburst -LOL

  18. Zo
    October 5, 2015 at 11:47 am

    Bless them, they thought they were serving realness but real jumped off that foolery train and threw up deuces.

  19. Timmy
    October 5, 2015 at 12:22 pm

    Why Caitlyn not in the picture? Pissed!

  20. Nicole
    October 5, 2015 at 12:36 pm

    “Slap yourself.” Yes.

  21. Toby Weiner
    October 5, 2015 at 12:37 pm

    Was right there with you, cheering the whole way through this article… Right until you added the “white privilege” twist on top of it. I understand it’s easy to just see things in black and white, and therefore easy when you’re dealing with racial issues as well. The two younger girls might be half white, but those women are about as white as the night. Privileged? Yes. White? No. While simply “not being black” may seem like a privilege in itself, many other races face their own unique stereotypes, struggles, and misrepresentations. Native Americans, Hispanic and Latinos, Middle Eastern, Indian- those are just a few of the ethnicities out there that probably don’t appreciate being called “white” simply because they’re not black. This first family of trash might be just that, but they are also of Persian (Middle Eastern) descent, and to simply call them white because their skin isn’t as dark as Obama’s immediately strips them of the pride of their ethnicity, the same as it would to you if someone called you white because you’re from America (wouldn’t that sound silly?). I’m with the main idea in this article, 100%, but there was no need to ‘go there’ in terms of races, while inadvertently insulting their actual race. I suggest you remove that part, or at least reword it.

    • Senitra
      October 5, 2015 at 1:01 pm

      Dayum! Even white folk don’t claim/want them!

    • Cilgen
      October 5, 2015 at 1:21 pm

      “I suggest you remove that part, or at least reword it.”

      Lord, help me, please. You truly cannot be serious. You’re giving Luvvie *instructions* in her own *bleep* blog? The rich irony is that by that sentence alone (not to mention the entirety of your post, if truth be told), is yet ANOTHER example of white privilege. Alas, you are not able to perceive this simple truth.

      Respectful pro tip: It’s Luvvie’s blog, she can do/say/write what she wants, and she needs no suggestions from you or anyone else.

      • dallasdrummerchick
        October 5, 2015 at 8:54 pm

        White boys being white boys. Thinking they can tone police a black woman in her OWN FUCKING BLOG. Miss me with this mayo bullshit.

    • Msles70
      October 5, 2015 at 2:42 pm

      Hello Idiot. These girls are ALL white. They are part Armenian, which is where the Caucasus mountains are. Which makes them Caucasians in the truest sense of the word.
      So, yeah. They’re yours whether you want them or not.

    • October 5, 2015 at 3:28 pm


    • Auntie Dee Dee
      October 5, 2015 at 3:56 pm

      This family appreciates being called white until the cameras are around when they visit Armenia. You’re kidding yourself if you think they correct people with, “Excuuuuuuse me, I am not white. I am of Armenian descent. Please check yourself.” when they call them white.

    • Ronkidonks
      October 5, 2015 at 4:16 pm

      The “white privilege” she is referring to was of the magazine staff NOT the Kardashians. I suggest you re-read it.

  22. Jessica
    October 5, 2015 at 12:38 pm

    So y’all gon’ act like that sheet of shade to Buzzfeed ain’t just black out the whole room? Okay.

    I see you Luvvie!! LMAO

  23. October 5, 2015 at 1:33 pm

    In a desperate attempt to normalize dysfunction, Cosmopolitan magazine did the unthinkable (in my opinion).

    What some of you may call a witty play on words, I call blatantly disrespectful.

    I will not say too much because I know plenty of you are Kardashian/Jenner fanatics, so you will kindly (and blindly) overlook the privilege being exercised to gloat over your favorite socialites on the cover.

    And the Kardashian/Jenner clan approving this cover tells you what?

    This cover is almost as bad as Donald Trump, as racist and misogynistic as he is, on the recent cover of People magazine with his family.

    Here you have another indirect attempt by the media to let us (Black people) know:

    “YOU PEOPLE do not matter; even the most elite among you can be replaced by the worst among us.”

    Let us petition for a recall or boycott of this disrespectful publication.

    Click https://m.facebook.com/Cosmopolitan?tsid=0.07039658119902015&source=typeahead to #OCCUPY Cosmo and express your outrage until they change the narrative on this cover or change the cover entirely.

  24. SIPort
    October 5, 2015 at 1:38 pm

    Thank you for this, Luvvie. For all of us who shook our heads in disgust when we first read about this yesterday…….

    thanks for telling it like it is.

  25. Shar
    October 5, 2015 at 1:41 pm

    Luvvie you are an absolute unadulterated genius for always telling it like it TI is, while putting palm trees (shade) in the best context so even Donald Trump followers can understand! #goodgawdyasssss #twosnapsinzformation

  26. Angie
    October 5, 2015 at 1:45 pm

    I am still laughing ….now while I like the Kardashian/Jenner melting pot and the tomfoolery that goes along with them however calling them the first family….now at first I thought it was in response to Kanye saying he was running for President in 2020 but then I said “well this would have been shot well before then (I assume) so nawww…..THEY TRIED IT! Now if it was photographed after he made that comment then IUNNO but otherwise…they know that title was a STRETTCCCCHHHH.

  27. Auntie Dee Dee
    October 5, 2015 at 3:51 pm

    And I don’t even look at this as being about the Obamas, though it’s as disrespectful AF to them, and to every respectable person in the world. I see it as the further dumbing down of America, and pushing the idea of getting something (fame and fortune) for nothing (having sex on camera and capitalizing on it while not calling yourself a porn star) to a whole ‘nother level. Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie were the beginning of this being famous for doing nothing BS–started at the bottom, and now we here, the lower bottom. At least Nicole grew up and realized the error of her ways. This takes the cake.

  28. Megan
    October 5, 2015 at 5:05 pm

    The Kardashians are of Armenian descent. They are not white. But thanks for bringing race into the mix. Me and my white privilege want to barf about this just as much as you do. They are nothing about trash.

  29. October 5, 2015 at 5:09 pm

    Cosmo used to be a literary magazine. A LITERARY MAGAZINE! Now barely any of the stuff published in it is even worthy of human consumption.

  30. jennie
    October 5, 2015 at 5:13 pm

    *slow clap*

  31. Rah Rah
    October 5, 2015 at 7:17 pm

    Where the fuck is the ambulance, LA Coroner’s Dept., firefighters and national guard. I been looking out my Woodland Hills office all day waiting to see them speeding to Calabasas #wheretheyatthough #bishwhere #wentCAMDENforasec #immovingtoPakistan #didoneofthemjumpoffacliffyet?

  32. Marcia
    October 5, 2015 at 7:38 pm

    My mother’s comment when I read the Squirrel of Azkaban line: “I over here choking on some damned whole kernel corn laughing at Luvvie’s crazy self. Write that down for me!” What I need to know who is going to be responsible for this health insurance deductible when I have to take her old self to the ER. This was beyond everything, epic, perfect, and spectacular. Sweet Baby Jesus Cosmo has officially reached a new low.

  33. Shanae
    October 5, 2015 at 8:02 pm

    I just want to say that this is why people outside of America be side-eyeing all of y’all. Well, those who haven’t read Luvvie’s post anyways.

  34. October 5, 2015 at 8:23 pm

    I am so glad I saw this post on Facebook. You are awesome and I think I love you. Not in a creepy way.

  35. Kim
    October 5, 2015 at 9:59 pm

    Squirrel of Azkhaban Haircut? ????????????????

  36. Lily
    October 5, 2015 at 11:39 pm

    Totally agreed with you right up to the moment where you decided to blame whitey for the whole thing and turn it into a race issue. Wow.

    • nurse nay
      October 6, 2015 at 6:03 am

      No….she did not turn it into a race issue….the purpose of reading is not to glance over words but to comprehend and understand what they mean. Luvvie pointed out that it is the obtuse nature of the white Cosmo staff to ignore that 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue is already occupied by the REAL first family who happen to be Black and classy
      – with all the money they possess the media ho Kardashians can NOT buy class ….. their very trashy antics are why some of us are offended that Cosmo would try to even hint they could be the first family….have a seat and brush up on your comprehension skills!

  37. Melissa
    October 6, 2015 at 2:01 am

    Well I do agree that they are not the first family and shouldn’t be called that as it is disrespectful to the real first family and all of America, I think it’s stupid that the blogger decided to blame racism and white privilege. I was nodding my head in agreement with the blogger up until remarks deemed racist against white people were made. Yes people. Racism works the other way around too. Imagine the anger toward a white blogger if the magazine was Ebony and the same comments this blogger made was said about black people. Anyway, this blogger lost credibility the moment she made this a race issue. Cosmopolitan make some stupid articles, but there is no race issue. Period.

    • nurse nay
      October 6, 2015 at 7:42 am

      Melissa racism does NOT work the other way too…..it is about power,control and oppression of the groups without the power…whites by number are fewer than people of color in the world yet designate non whites as Minority groups. Sure others besides whites can be BIASED, act on ignorant stereotypes about others, but they don’t have power to oppress entire groups….That is racist behavior!

  38. Lanz
    October 6, 2015 at 6:24 am

    Donald Trump and his Squirrel of Azkaban hairhat running for President….Luvvie you have no behavior, got me laughing on this bus first thing in the morning

  39. October 6, 2015 at 7:20 am

    O beautiful for spacious skies,
    For amber waves of grain,
    For purple mountain majesties
    Above the fruited plain!
    America! America! God shed His grace on thee,
    And crown thy good with brotherhood
    From ass to epic ass!

  40. October 6, 2015 at 8:15 am

    It would have been dope to actually get the ladies of our country’s actual first family. Michelle, Sasha, and Malia. Now that would’ve been dope. I don’t think they’ve did anything high fashion or glam yet…. Y’all messed up. Now O magazine going to do it 😉

  41. LC
    October 6, 2015 at 9:43 am

    Meanwhile, it’s also worth acknowledging that most of the members of the Kardashian Klan aren’t American. Their ethnicity is Armenian.

    The phrase first family also does not apply because in order to create a family a male figure must be present. This further promulgates the idea that families don’t need males. While there are different strokes for different folks, each of these women embraces the opposite gender as necessities in their lives. However, none of those men are on this cover. Are they not a part of the family?

    Also, it is worth noting that we call them a KLAN, much like we call the KKK. The negative implication of that word means that they are not of benefit to the US, for purposes other than hate. As a family, the public image of perfection that is constantly perpetrated in captions under their pictures reminds us to hate ourselves, hate our women and hate anything that isn’t a middle part and a big butt.

    Tis all. They are NOT my first family.

  42. October 7, 2015 at 1:10 pm

    14 year old WHITE girls. 14 Year old Black girls shouldn’t be reading this trash. Great piece!

  43. El Loél
    October 7, 2015 at 5:43 pm

    The Kardashians: products of the Celebrity Industrial Complex. Meanwhile, who wants some of this lemonade? I made it using all the white tears that were shed on this page.

  44. cat
    October 7, 2015 at 5:45 pm

    First fake family…shame on you cosmo, this is one issue I will NOT be buying.

  45. Debbe
    October 11, 2015 at 5:19 pm

    Luvvie, I loved your piece. You are funny as hell. Cosmopolitan, Trump, Kardashians are all about the same to me – attention-craving, shallow and something for the masses to gawk at. White woman here – but I want no part of any of that mess. My first family is in the White House!!! So let’s not fight over satire or stupid shit. Educate and elevate all of the
    girls and women around you!

  46. Monica
    October 14, 2015 at 2:41 pm

    I can not wait until the day we do not see or hear from them just for one month or day(min).

  47. missy
    November 11, 2015 at 12:52 am

    The Kartrashians are useless!!! They get so much money and attention because dumb sheep people aspire to be rich and famous like them. They contribute nothing to society except vanity and materialism. It’s all about themselves. WAKE UP PEOPLE!!!